How to NOT tell people I've just had a tummy tuck

[HerniaTuck]

I've name changed for obvious reasons.

Since having my second DS by c-section nearly 3 years' ago (my first was a c-section too), my stomach has looked horrendous. I look about 5 months' pregnant all the time even though I'm well within my healthy BMI range and am a clothes size 10-12 (if I hold it all in to do up my waistband). I'm fit and go to the gym 4-5 days a week. I also have a weird stomach bulge that comes out when I do sit ups.

So, I went to see a surgeon about having a tummy tuck to sort everything out. He says I have a hernia and separated stomach muscles (5 fingers' width). This can all be sorted out through the surgery.

I'm embarrassed about having this procedure and don't want to tell people about it (my DH and parents will know). I need to come up with a plausible explanation for my recovery. Two nights in hospital, next to no activity in week 1, no driving for up to around 3 weeks, etc. Is a hernia enough of a reason? What details do I need to know if pressed (obviously I won't be spinning a yarn but I'd like to be able to comfortably deflect any questions).

I know this is a bit of a weird one but my bro has had a hernia op and he cares about me a lot. He'll be v concerned for me and will ask loads of questions. The trouble is my SIL. She's a cow and I don't want her to know about the procedure. I'd never hear the end of it.

I think you're being overly optimistic about how quick the recovery is from this procedure. It's huge surgery and it's not unusual to need far more than 3 weeks to fully recover. And who the fuck cares what your SIL thinks? Tell the truth. It's hernia and diastasis recti repair, the latter of which can leave you in significant back pain.

I can't be dealing with people like this. SiL or not would be told that I had an operation and need time to recover, if she pressed would be told to mind her own business. Unless of course you are expecting her to help around the house and lift and lay you. People like her make me irrationally angry. You are trying to come up with a reason to placate this cow instead of focusing on your upcoming op and recovery. Sorry for being very annoyed on your behalf

I had a hernia repair. It was day surgery followed by six weeks of not being able to pick my baby up.
It occurred during pregnancy, at a site of previous surgery where the surgery had caused a weakness. It was just below my navel, the cut was about four inches long

This is diastesis recti. A good friend of mine had it and she had a tummy tuck to fix it. It worked smashingly although the recovery was not easy — very different from her 2 c-sections she said. But she says it was totally worth it and she would do it again in a heartbeat.

Thanks again for all of your replies. I'm considering my options! I think I might say I've a hernia due to the separation of muscles following my last pregnancy and the whole area needs to be repaired. Sounds substantial enough so they understand my recovery, detailed enough that they won't ask for more info and not a lie either.

To respond to a few of your questions/observations...
I realise the recovery will be longer than 3 weeks - but that's quite a realistic timescale for not being able to drive (the most obvious bit to other people).

Also, things are complicated with my SIL. Essentially she drips, drips, drips negative comments about the rest of my family and me to my DB (who's lovely but blind when it comes to her). The outcome is that she is slowly separating him from the rest of us. She does it because she's insecure and doesn't understand the effect of her actions. She wants to look good to him, but it's to our detriment. I have talked about it to my DB once and he basically said that I should accept him and ALL his family or I can expect no relationship with him at all. I admire his support of his wife but am disappointed by his stance. I either keep my distance and try and cut down on potential 'ammunition' for her or lose my DB completely. Some might say life's too short for that but I love my DB v much and I'm not prepared to not have a relationship with him.

Wow - that's a lot of personal stuff for a question about a tummy tuck!

Hi I am interested in this thread as I have had the due to back and core problems and what to tell work as my job involves lifting. Tia

You don't need to say 'the whole area needs to be repaired'. Leave it at the first bit. You are over-thinking this- honestly.

Just say I need a large hernia repair which isn’t possible laparoscopically according to your surgeon. This is perfectly plausible.