So, yeah, as above.
But first, introductions. I'm a male, and this is a little embarrassing so I'll say no more about me. Well, I'm late 20's. And my name is somewhat relevant. And a blast from the past dandy character. That's somewhat relevant. Well, not the dandy part lol. So, me and my OH met about 18 months ago, and we fell pregnant after about a year, coincidentally as we moved in together. Not that I suspect foul play, I trust my partner and believe she forgot. She can be a bit ditsy at times.
So, next, again, only because it's relevant, it wasn't planed, she wanted to and I wanted to wait til we'd been together longer. I said a bit to her but I was in no rush. I wanted to do it right the first time, I came from a broken home and know too many others from a broken home. I want a loving family for my kids.
But we we're happy, we love each other, and everything was going well.
Well, as well as it can. I've had very little sex life in the past, so this relationship was great fun! That stopped dead when she found out. Like, instantly. Then there was some spotting.
We didn't know what it was, and it nearly broke us. We were distraught. So the lack of sex carried on. Pre pregnancy it wasn't unusual to have sex multiple times in a day. Sorry of you don't want to know, but again, it's relevant. It then became once or twice a month. And it was hard work getting there! I knew she wasn't that keen, but I didn't want to lose the fun edge, or the intimacy. I love laying in bed with her naked, which never happens, as she'll never go to bed without pj's. She rarely did before the pregnancy. So, yes, I was still horny like a teenager, but I didn't want us to fall distant. Which was happening. And it scared me, I thought she was losing interest in me. I did do some reading and find similar situations, quite common actually. But that didn't eleviate my worries.
But we trundled on, been preparing, both our families have been supportive and frankly amazing. But then it's supposed to get better after the first trimester. And it did. At times we were intimate once a week! (perhaps being intimate is a better term) sometimes on a quiet weekend we'd be intimate once a day!
But through it all, she's still been keen on cuddles.
Nkw, she won't even give me a cuddle at night most nights. I understand she's uncomfortable and she's big and feels disgusting, but I tell her everyday she's beautiful, I've tried to articulate what starting a family and having my baby means, and I know it doesn't work, because she still gets upset every now and then about being "fat" even though 95% of her weight gain is the bump
I don't know, I'm just worried about us as a couple. I miss the intimacy at the drop of a hat, the cuddlyness, the true, close intimacy. Do I resent the baby? I know I'll love him, I know it'll all be worth it when my little boy gets here.
Am I worried about us as a couple? Or do I just want to have back the time we never had? Ironically when we talked (a while back now) and I spoke of my fears and said although she's going through massive changes I'm not changing that much, I still have needs. Sounds more selfish saying it like that, but I was explaining why I was still horny. I understood no means no, but that didn't stop me wanting to be intimate. I've put it down to pregnancy, but I'm just worried, like most I'm sure, that it's something more then that, or it won't end with the pregnancy. I miss the girl I fell in love with, and I want her back. I'll certainately won't be doing this again any time soon.
I guess I just want some reassurance. I want to know I'm not doing anything majorly wrong, I'm not being weird or overly paranoid, and that everything will be okay.
Sorry if it seems trivial, but it's been 6 months and although we still love each other very much, it's just getting worse as time goes on.
I get the feeling anyone that has been though preganancy will, to some extent understand.
Thanks very much.
I hope I hear lots of "it'll be fine, it's all normal and it'll change soon!"
Oh, and I vaguely guessed some acronyms, but I'm not going to try and use any other then OH because I'll probably make a pigs ear of it.