Ive moved the thread over here.

[LeBe]

Hi im hoping some of you can give me some advice for a friend. She has an 8 month old baby and has just found out she is pregnant again. It has come to a huge surprise to her and she has been really stressing about what to do for the last week or so. She has finally decided not to keep the baby but has been told she has to wait 1 or 2 weeks to go and have the termination. Does anybody know if this is right because surely if you have made such a hard decision you shouldnt have to wait so long for help plus it might make her too late for the tablet so she will have to have an op.
I dont really like to talk about this because i dont want to upset anyone and its not what i would do myself, but i promised her some help.

if she is having an NHS op then there is likely to be a waiting list. sadly there are vast numbers of women and young girls in her situation.

It may also be that she is not far gone enough. that sounds silly but until the pregancy is 9 weeks a surgical termination can sometimes "miss" the feotus.

I am sure this is a devastating situation for her and reaching this decision must have been very traumatic. try not to allow the pro lifers comments that are bound to come up affect you or your freind, try and focus on the positive commenst that you WILL get.

Hi again Lebe

I'm sorry if my comment wasn't welcome. I did have a friend in a similar situation and bit my lip at the time, as she had made her decision.

Years later she still thinks about it, and I wished that maybe if i said something at the time, it wouldn't have happened.

You can see why I'm biased, and I can see you find it hard too, your a good friend.

Maybe you will find out more about tablets and or times to take them on a web search.

Sorry Uki of course your comment was welcome i need all the help i can get! Not being in this situation myself and not wanting to upset her i dont know what to say really.
When she told me all the cons i gave her a positive or a different way of looking at it but she still made this decision so i dont really want to push it but i know what you mean i dont want her to regret it later and i said nothing but then i dont want her partner to think im interfeing with thier decision either.
She had a look at having it done privatley but i think it was about £400 she said which she cant afford.

lebe... if she's doing it on the nhs theirs a wait (it may not seem 'fair' but we could say this about all waiting lists!!)... if she doesn't wish to wait then she could pay privately

it will also deend on hospital policy as to how far gone they will use the meds o she may not have to have surgery

Well this is the whole problem she thinks about 5/6 weeks but if she has to wait 2 weeks then she will have to have the op cos it will make her over the 9weeks where you have the tablet.

then she can't really do much else than wait, sorry, and have the op!!

if it's any help, the op is quick, simple and painfree - daycase surgery, 30 min max anaesthetic, home in a couple of hours!! hth

Yeah I know your right Saralou just feel bit sorry i cant go and give her any more advice or help. But thankyou everyone for your help.

I had to wait a week or two after finding out i was pg, my Dd was only 2 months!

Anyway, i had to have 2 seperate appiontments before the op was arranged.
In my opinion the op is easier, you just go to sleep and know nothing, with the tablet you have to attend a clinic for the first dose which ends the pregnancy, then return 2-3 days later for a second dose which brings on a misscarraige.

Its a horrible desision to have to make, and she must be 100% sure, the extra time will make sure of that.

Good luck to your friend with whatever she decides.xx