Going out with a stoner

[weeddilemma]

I've name changed for this.

I'm going out with someone that smokes weed everyday. High(ish) powered job, he manages a group of people and is good at his job.

It's just the weed. When he gets home from work it's the first thing he does, and if it's not, I can tell he's thinking about doing it.

I don't necessarily have a huge problem with it - he's his own person, and I have used it recreationally. I've also said that in the future when we have kids, I insist he would be 'clean' for two years.

Tonight he's come in and 'hidden' it. Acted super friendly then when I saw it, said 'is that ok?' Course it's ok, like I said he's his own person. I hate that he demonises me for literally even asking about it - tonight it was 'oh did you get it after work'. He says I'm 'boring' for not having any.

Anyone got any advice for living with someone like this? He thinks that because his jobs going well he's not addicted. He's done it pretty much every day since we've been together (4years). I'd feel ridiculous giving an ultimatum .. me or the weed! but it's getting to that.

You say he's his own
Person but if you mean that then why would you want him To stop for 2 years. My husband smokes and I don't mind as long as it's not in front of me and he keeps it away from the children. Not everyone who smokes acts like the stereotypes that posters are quoting here . You've been with him for 4 years and you've only just realised this is an issue for you?

50s Queen

If you read my previous post I said it's not an issue at the moment, more than I'm becoming more aware of it. Hence the post.

I'm also aware that not everyone who smokes weed fits the stereotype.

And you're sure you're going to stop using drugs recreationally yourself ?

You both do drugs. You both did drugs when you met now you're setting an arbitrary target of two years for him to be clean just to show he can be.

This way leads to madness and unhappiness. Accept people for who they are and if you can't then leave them.
Otherwise you're going to be caught in a cycle of lying (him) and disappointment (you)