Terrified of the dentist advice please

[Daisydoesnt]

I have an irrational, out of control fear of the dentist. I guess that's called a phobia. I can go to the dentist, and visit the hygienist every six months, and look after my teeth fastidiously - all with the aim of never needing another filling as long as I live. Unfortunately, I've just found out that a 30-something year old filling I had when a child has now degraded and needs to be replaced (a piece of it had chipped off, and there's also a small hole in what remains). The dentist offered to replace the filling that day, but I could not have possibly faced it.
I know it sounds ridiculous but how can i bring myself to have the work done it? My appointment for the new filling is end of March.
Has anyone had success with hypnotherapy, or anything else? In particular my fear is of the drill, that noise makes me want to run from the building screaming. Please don't think I'm a toothpaste-dodger or have a mouthful of half rotten stumps. I look after my teeth very well it's just this single old filling from my childhood that has failed. Any advice very welcome.

Ah, I have some idea about how you might feel. I spent years terrified of the dentist.

If you can't get a local recommendation for a sympathetic dentist who help help you, try googling. The right person will be able to help.

Have a look at this site- lots of usual pointers and info. Explain to the dentist how you feel, any decent dentist won’t be fased or get frustrated at you feeling anxious.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

if it helps, I recently had a 20+yr year filling fall out and need replacing. i was a bit petrified, but knew it had to be repaired or the situation would get worse. But i say i was pleasantly surprised. i had an injection which i swear i did not feel. It was magic!! then they waited while it took effect.....so you feel nothing. The tooth was drilled very quickly and then the filling was applied. It was over in minutes. In fact it was so quick/painless that we decided she would replace another old filling there and then. The anaesthetic wastotally effective and had worn off by the time i got home. Get yourself seen, you'll feel so proud of yourself!! I promise that dentistry has come on in techniques over the past decades! tell the dentist you are scared. they will have a strategy to help you. The thought is worse than the actual procedure. Put ear plugs in your ears to block out the drill noise? or headphones and turn the music up. The dentist could drill in short bursts instead of one action to help you maybe. The drill is your friend really, it gets rid of the decay and creates a lovely surface for the filling to adhere to to prevent future decay/pain. Could you think of it that way? best of luck.

thank you all for your replies - I really appreciate it. I was in tears when I originally posted, I felt so overwhelmed by the whole thing.

Finally you are right, I need to speak to my dentist (he supposedly has an interest in helping nervous patients, but i haven't mentioned my nerves to him). Tinysarah thank you that website is awesome! loads of tips and helpful ideas. And sonsmum my husband got home last night (he's been away all week) and said the exact same thing - that dentistry has progressed enormously in the 30 odd years since my last filling, and I will be pleasantly surprised by the changes. ha!

Thank you again, I will go through with it and am determined it wont get the better of me.

I feel the same as you about the dentist but the worst thing for me is the injection closely followed by the drill.
We have a new dentist now and procedures have improved a lot in the last 5 years or so and they put something on first to numb or desensitise the gum or make it a bit less sensitive before the actual injection. Or maybe that’s just for me because I am down as a nervous patient.
We have an agreement if I get too panicky I raise my hand and he stops which helps me. Also seeing my young DS having several of his second front teeth filled due to an accident and him being so brave really helped me to get things in perspective, pull myself together a bit and be a lot braver. I try not to raise my hand to stop as it takes longer and I know it’s better to get it over and done with.
💐

I wrote a huge post on a thread about this same thing the other day - the OP never came back, so you can have my tips.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/3162973-dental-anxiety

Perhaps your gp could prescribe a single dose of diazepam to be taken prior to appt?

When I needed treatment years after avoiding it through fears my NHS practice said thst it was ok to book an appointment just to discuss my fears with the dentist and she would manage it. She explained what she would do and she would talk through it stage by stage and most importantly agreed on sign so I could ask her to stop immediately and that I could have more pain relief if necessary.

This really reassured me and sure enough she was incredibly patient with me on the actual day. I left wondering what the fuss was all about and after that just reminded whichever dentist I had that I was nervous and they were always sympathetic and patient. I still don't like going for treatment but I'm ok and even chose to do so a few years ago for cosmetic reasons.

I’m quite nervous after a bad experience as a child. I have now found an absolutely lovely dentist who I had a long chat with, focusing on what makes me nervous and how to mitigate it. So now, she doesn’t tell me what she’s doing (I’ve noticed that dental training now seems to involve ‘tell the patient exactly what you are doing and why’ - no thank you, I don’t need or want a running commentary), I raise my hand if I am uncomfortable at any point and she has the radio on for distraction. I do a lot of yoga deep breathing and visualisation of some favourite places when I am in the chair and that helps a lot too.

thank you all so much for your posts I really appreciate it. Some great advice and I am sure I can great through it now. A common theme seems to be "it won't be as bad as you think!" so I am hoping that will be true! And I feel I can prepare mentally and prepare some strategies for the day, which is a good thing for me. Judydreamsofhorses thanks also for sharing your previous post - really helpful. I think part of my fear is that its going to hurt and I'l just have to tolerate it so good to know I can ask for more anaesthetic.
Thank you all so much again.

I have the worst dentist phobia, I got referred for sedation and that worked wonders :) lots of info on sedation on the dental fear central website, so might be worth giving that a go if you are able