Terrified of vaccinations

[Cat1980uk]

Hiya, please don't judge as I am just wanting some advice on what to do. I am single Mum to the most amazing little boy who I never thought I'd have. I love him more than anything in this world and want to do what's right for him. I am so so scared of making the wrong decision. He is 16 weeks old on Tuesday and has not had any vaccines yet.

He is due his 6 in 1, menb and rotavirus on Tuesday. I don't know what to do. I am already asking for menb one to be done separate as a few people I know have as baby reacts less if not given the same time as other vaccines but I am so scared of the others too.

My little boy means everything to me and I always said I would vaccinate. I was diagnosed with postnatal anxiety a few weeks ago and it's all focused on something happening to my little boy. I had a miscarriage 6 weeks before I fell pregnant with him, then they thought he was ectopic then I spent 10 weeks bleeding regularly at epu, was told he was a threatened miscarriage then I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and had a planned csection due to it. Then when he was born he was ok for the first day then developed an infection and spent 3 days in neonatal. I didn't get any sleep for 56 hours and had to pretend I was well so I could be discharged and be with him so I only had painkillers for the first 24 hours after my section. All that has lead me to have some trauma and all my anxiety is about my little boy. I am terrified something is going to happen to him. I have spent the last 16 weeks terrified of cot death. I don't sleep well, I am always on edge, I am checking his temp 20 times a day, I go out with him and I stop his pram constant to check he is breathing, to feel his chest to see if he's to hot. I am a wreck. My gp diagnosed me with postnatal anxiety due to everything I have been through and gave me antidepressants which I can't take as they make me to exhausted and spaced out and unable to care for my little boy and I have no one who can help me. I have tried cbt but it's not helped :(

So yes of course I want to vaccinate my son but at the same time as scared as I am of the small chance of him getting something if not vaccinated it's putting my anxiety through the roof of him reacting to the vaccines and becoming really ill or worse. My fear of SIDS is high again and of course when I google I see people who say their child died of SIDS after vaccines, that lawsuits have been bought against the vaccines due to SIDS. Being my main fear I feel my head is jumbled with knowing what to do. I saw my gp who understood and she said even she as a gp had to wrestle with her knowledge and risks on if to vaccinate or not with her 3 children.

I just don't know what to do. If I don't vaccinate I feel a terrible Mum and if I do and something happened to my little boy the blame would literally kill me. Sorry I sound such a headcase. I literally have no one to support me through this or my anxiety or even to go with me to the vaccinations.

Sorry for rambling and thank you

The chance of complications from vaccinations is much smaller than the risks if he catches one of the dieases. Get him vaccinated, if you're very worried speak to your HV

Rationally I know that but it doesn't help my anxiety and I think because I have post natal anxiety it's making my mind harder to figure things out. Already spoke to my HV and she said there are risks if I do and if I don't and only I can decide so that didn't help calm my fears.

Hi OP sorry to hear that you are anxious. Please get the 6 in 1 vaccines done, they are really important. I have 4 children, never enjoyed the vaccinations either, always nervous about them. However, it is so much worse if your precious baby catches one of the diseases. My youngest has her first MMR next week - I have had to move it twice already due to winter colds. It is very rare for a baby to react very badly to a vaccination. You can give your baby Calpol straight after the vaccinations. My last baby did get a slight temperature after her first set of vaccinations, but they did include the men B which apparently does often cause a temperature (in fact she is lucky to get that vaccination, the other kids didn’t get it on the NHS). I have two friends whose babies have had meningitis young, luckily they are OK but it could have been really bad if they hadn’t gone to hospital immediately. I was skeptical of the rotavirus vaccine but my youngest didn’t catch a bad stomach bug the older children had last year, so it may have helped. As loving mothers it is our instinct to want to protect our children and often doing what is best for them can be hard for us.

Just to reassure you about the process as well, neither of my children (now 9 & 12) remember any of their baby/toddler vaccinations. You can cuddle them while they get done and they soon forget.

Just delay until you are sure about what to do. Join arnica on facebook.

If you do vaccinate you'll have a short period of time where you feel anxious about a reaction. Yes he might get a temperature and feel rubbish for a couple of days and you might be worrying throughout, but that is a shorter worry compared to not vaccinating. That will be your next source of anxiety for even longer, panicking that DS will get meningitis or the other illnesses.

Blush makes a really good point there OP, in your position minimising things to be anxious about has to be a good thing and worrying constantly about the illnesses the vaccinations protect against may well make your recovery from the anxiety much harder and slower than it needs to be.

I'm worried about the fact that you have no support in RL, would you be prepared to give your general area in case any of us are close enough to come and give you some support? I'd be happy to come with you if I'm anywhere near and I bet I'm not the only one.

Your GP sounds really understanding, could you ask her to help you plan out a staggered approach to the vaccs? If she was prepared to advise you on how much time to leave between them to minimise the risk of reaction would that help do you think? Something specific you can look at and work to with the reassurance that the doctor said it's as safe as it can be?

It sounds to me as though there's at least an element of PTSD to your anxiety, it might be worth asking the GP about EMDR therapy rather than CBT. How likely you are to get it on the NHS I wouldn't like to say but it can't hurt to ask. Lots of private therapists offer it but that's down to whether you can afford it. There's a good explanation of how it works here www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellor-articles/emdr-therapy-for-overcoming-stress-anxiety-and-trauma if you want to read up on it.

It is accepted by the medical community, health organisations and governments that the risk-benefit profile is in favour of vaccination. In short that means your child is more likely to get sick, suffer an irreversible event or die from contracting a disease than getting sick, suffering an irreversible event or dying from being vaccinated against the disease. It’s an odds game and vaccination is in your favour.

Forgot to say the menB will most likely cause a significant temp so prepare yourself for that, it’s normal and so much better than brain damage, death rtccdue to meningococcal B infection.

I had post natal anxiety, ignored my gut feeling and was persuaded to vax by a GP who said my baby would die if I didn't. The opposite happened, dc had a life changing reaction and it's my biggest regret. I was ebf and learnt more about the immune system and felt confident in it, and not making the same mistake again.

Concern over vaccines is usually nothing to do with being scared of a mild fever after

OP says she wants to vaccinate her DS, and she knows she has post-natal anxiety which is interfering with what shebapwants to do.

It sounds to me as if she wants and needs help in dealing with the anxiety (not poor quality of anecdotal information about vaccinations).

Can you go back to your GP to explain your continuing symptoms of anxiety and all the impacts it is having on your life. You have been through an awful lot with your DS already, and getting some extra support, which helps free you of excessive anxiety and sets you fair for the future, is going to be worth it.

Going through the same anxiety as you, and haven't even given birth yet (24+5 weeks pregnant). I've joined the Arnica group on Facebook, and I'm just trying to cram my brain with information. Now I'm looking into maybe spacing vaccines out. This is such a difficult subject, and such a scary decision to make.

I would be wary of hiw information is presented in the Arnica group - seeing. 50% take up rate as the 'machine' winning is nit really a sign of an open minded approach.

You can boost wellbeing by good nutrition and healthy lifestyle, but you cannot replace the effect of immunisation.

Thank you everyone for your replies. I 100% want to vaccinate my little boy and always had and have intentions of doing so. I think it's all we've been through already and the fact my postnatal anxiety is making my brain not work right ie I can't decision make, seeing every choice of mine for my son will be the wrong one so if I vaccinate he will be ill and if I don't he will be ill. I am having a lot of ocd thoughts convinced whatever I do it will be the wrong choice and I am destined to lose my little boy and that has me in tears every single day as he is my complete world who I would lay down my own life for.

I spoke to the drs surgery today and they have postponed the vaccinations again until I can into see gp 2 weeks on Friday to see if I can some proper help for this anxiety and some support.

I AM going to vaccinate, I just need someone to help me sort my head out since having my little boy so I can think rational instead of with fear and ocd that I will always make the wrong choice and it will go wrong. I adore him so much and I will do anything I can to protect him and make him a happy confident healthy little boy.

This anxiety has shocked me as I knew I would have some so had cbt before little one was born and saw the mental health midwife too so I could discuss a plan of action as I knew I'd be terrified of losing him but this amount of anxiety that actually hit me has floored me and it's so hard. I need to overcome it fast so I can these vaccines. I only go out into town with him and nowhere else as I am scared to let him mix with anyone so until his vaccines are done I need to keep him safe as possible but on the other hand I know he needs to mix with people and get used to other people other than Mummy. I had all these plans before he was born for baby classes, sensory rooms etc and my HV has told me I am ok to take him even without vaccines as I'd be covered by the herd community as 95% of people where I live have vaccinated and parents aren't allowed to take their babies to classes even if just got a cold but I still daren't go.

I bet a sound like a right idiot and a rubbish Mummy but I really am not. It's this anxiety clouding what's right, wrong etc as I love him more than I can describe and never had any problems bonding, infact I have bonded with him so much I think why my anxiety so high in fear of losing him. On one hand I am so happy and on the other terrified. It's horrible :(

Thank you again for the majority understanding and not judging x

There sound the exact opposite of a rubbish mummy.

Because you have done something about this

You've been to the doctor, you're in the system for getting help and you have a GP-approved amended immunisation schedule. That's great progress for one day.

Thank you scaevola, means a lot xx

Hi op, I know this is an old thread, was just wondering how you are coping now nearly 3 months on and if you did get your son his vaccines? Your original post literally describes me so i know how you feel, the only difference between us is that I have a dh who can help me rationalise my anxiety thoughts and is also (of course) a decision maker in our ds life, without those two things if it were left up to me with no one to help challenge my intrusive thoughts I would have been postponing and postponing vaccines over and over just like you, despite the fact that I also wanted to vaccinate. Anxiety is awful, motherhood is hard, I have no idea how you do it alone. Are you in England? I'm in Northern Ireland. I'm new to mumsnet so don't actually know how to pm sorry but if you want or need anyone to talk to you can pm me if you know how. (I'm hoping I'd get a notification?) lol.