Third degree tear

[pegleg92]

I had my first baby nearly 3 weeks ago. I had to have forcep birth due to baby coming to quickly. He got distressed and they just pulled him out. Luckily him and me are both okay which is the main thing.

3 weeks on and I'm finally able to wee without any burning pain so assume my stitches are on a heal. However (sorry for TMI) I am in absolute agony when passing a stool 😐 there is also a tiny amount of fresh blood when I go. I am on lactulose to help soften but doesn't seem to be doing the trick at the minute.

I'm starting to feel a bit depressed. After using the toilet j can barely get up and have to just man up and get on with it for the sake of my son. Getting up to feed at night can be hard as struggle to get out of bed. I just want to feel normal again and have seen that it can take up to a year to feel normal. People are already asking about when baby 2 is coming! And I really don't feel I can go through all of that again. It's traumatised me. Don't know how to bring the conversation up with my other half

Hi I had a similar birth with forceps but I had an episiotomy. My healing took a long time (around 6-7 months) as my stitches came apart after 5 days and I got an infection and they don't restitch! Have you had your stitches checked? It could be that when going to the loo it is pulling on your scar slightly which may be causing the bleeding. I had this and had silver nitrate applied by a gyno to the scar which seals it. It's was uncomfortable but so worth it, not had it since. The healing process does take a long time and I am only just feeling normal 8 months on. You do have to remember that your body has been through an awful lot and it will take time to recover fully. I hated hearing this at the time as I was so down about it but it will get better.

Thanks for the reply. Yeah had a community midwife come and have a look at them about 4 days ago. Said they don't look infected but very bruised.

Months seems like such a long time but my little man is worth it. Just hoping it gets better quickly so can move Better. Would be nice to have a walk without being in agony

Hi, I too had a similar birth, big back to back baby, forceps and episiotomy which extended in to a 3c tear.
I had problems going to the toilet for a long time, although not the pain you describe. I wonder if might be worth asking your gp to have a look as it sounds like you could have a small fissure causing the pain which they could possibly help you with.

I remember feeling so low around the 3-4 week mark. I too felt really traumatised by what had happened and got so fed up with being constantly uncomfortable and in pain. I ended up getting quite depressed for the first four months or so, never formally diagnosed though.

The pain and discomfort will ease and you will start to feel more normal, it really is still early days. I felt slightly better as each week went by and things improved considerably at the seven month mark for me.

I also found it very difficult to share how I was feeling with my husband, I struggled to bond with DD and felt very guilty about that. Try to talk to your DP if you can as it will help if he understands what you are going through.

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone... and it will get better, honestly it will.

Thanks everyone. Nice to know I'm not alone !

I made an app at doc and I have a small infection. 2 lots of antibiotics and an extra stool softener so hopefully things will improve that end

You have my sympathy OP - I had a 3rd degree tear and it was horrid.
Keep going with the lactulose - when you go to the loo don't strain. Did you see a physiotherapist before you were discharged? They tell you a good technique for going to the loo - raise your feet onto a stool and massage your tummy to help you go. Also, I found taking a bath with a couple of drops of lavender oil really helpful to soothe everything. There is a cushion on amazon that I bought - I think it is actually for heomarrhoids - but it really helped me as it had cooling gel to soothe the general area and I used it in the car!
If it helps, I am now 7.5 months post partem and completely healed and back to normal. You will get there! Congratulations on your baby and hope you feel better soon.

Thanks. No never saw a physiotherapist I have an appointment at 6 weeks for that which seems silly to me. Should have been done earlier than that!!

I hope it won't be too long ... fingers crossed!

Another possibility if it carries on is hemorrhoids. Mine after my 1st birth were worse pain wise than the 3rd degree tear had been. You can get suppositories for them if they are the issue and those do help a bit.

You have my sympathy!