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Bit narked about consultants attitude toward me today.- long sorry.

6 replies

gtimama · 27/04/2007 22:39

I have 8 yr old twin daughters. One of my daughters developed a spider melanoma under her eye approx 4 yrs ago. Although they are not identical twins, they are very alike and people started to differentiate between them by saying "Twin 1 is the one with the spot under her eye." Over the years she has become very conscious of this and doesn't like it. She often asks me to put concealer on it.

A few months ago she developed another spot thing on the side of her nose, but this was a raised one. We saw our GP who decided to freeze it. She tried to freeze the spider melanoma aswell - two attempts at this. But it didn't work so the GP referred us to local hospital dermatologist.

We went for our appointment today. When we entered her office she directed all questions to my DD. That is fine, but DD suffers from extreme shyness - has even been described as selective muteism by deputy head at school. So I tried to help my DD by prompting a response from her. When consultant asked DD what she thought of the spot, she just shrugged her shoulders! When consultant asked her what it felt like she said "I hardly know it's there."

Consultant looked at me and said that they would only do it if it was proven that child suffers psychologically because of it. They would not do it if they felt it was the mother that wanted something done! She said DD could have it done privately later in life if she so decided.

I felt so small!!! My DD was the one that wanted the spot to go. When we left the office I told DD that that was it, we didn't have to come back because she wouldn't be having anything done, she was upset. When I asked her why she hadn't spoken up about it in the office, she said that she does hardly know it's there until others start pointing it out or touching it and she doesn't like it.

Excasperated and slightly miffed!!!

I know she can have it done privately later if she decides to. But I didn't take her there for my sake!!!

OP posts:
elasticbandstand · 27/04/2007 22:48

oh dear, how annoying. can understand how frustrated you must feel.
can you ask for a referral to someone else?
or write to said consultant giving your concerns?

MissGolightly · 27/04/2007 22:50

I think you should write to the consultant and explain.

3littlefrogs · 27/04/2007 22:52

I agree, write to the consultant. But, FWIW, the GP should have written all of this in the referral letter, including what you said about dd's shyness. then the consultant would have had all the info prior to the consultation.

gtimama · 27/04/2007 23:02

Really - it's not such a big deal. She can have it done later if she wants to. At the moment it costs about £300, so god knows how much it will be later.

I just felt peeved that this woman automatically made a judgement about me. I hate that!

OP posts:
Haribosmum · 28/04/2007 20:15

I'd be peeved as well if this was me. Surely the consultant you have asked for your opinion as well? She only 8 for gawds sake! Definatly write to the consultant explaining the situation and try asking GP for another referal. I don't know what else to suggest...Why the hell should you have to pay for it if it making your dd uncomfortable in her own skin?!

gtimama · 29/04/2007 08:40

Thanks for all your comments - I will speak to our GP (who is very nice) about how the appointment went and see what she suggests.

DD doesn't seem that bothered about it now, so I guess we'll have to wait until it upsets her again.

The procedure can be a painful one, so perhaps it is better left until later.

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