Vaginal pain/dryness. It hurts too much to have sex!

[myfannyhurts]

NC for this, as you can imagine. It’s not in my nature to share graphic sexual information but I’m gritting my teeth here in hopes of getting some help from the wise MN hive mind.

For years on and off I’ve had significant vaginal dryness and terrible pain during and after sex. I haven’t been able to have sex at all in many months. The pain seems to be mostly at the bottom of the vaginal opening (sorry if TMI). It’s marginally better if my DP wears a condom, especially afterward. It’s almost like the semen irritates me (TMI again).

I’m 40, so nowhere near the menopause, I don’t think, and this has been happening for at least 5 years on and off. My youngest DC is 5 so pregnancy is far behind me. We use tons of lube and I’ve tried Replens but it doesn’t help. I’m on the Nuvaring but I’ve tried taking it out for a few months and all it got me was awful periods. My GP prescribed Ovestin but that didn’t help either.

Has anyone been through this? I’m guessing it’s something hormonal because of the dryness. I don’t think it’s vaginismus because I have no trouble inserting/removing my Nuvaring, although my last smear was incredibly painful. My DH is incredibly patient but I miss sex :(. Anyone?

Try taking primrose oil tablets every day, they help with natural body fluids, starflower oil can too.

I think you need to go back to the GP. You can ask to see a female doctor, and get a proper examination.

You need to know what it causing the pain. Is it scar tissue fomr the birth of your yongest for example.

Deep pain during sex can be indicative of endometriosis being present; I would suggest you return to the GP and ask for a referral to a gynaecologist. Do not simply continue to put up with this; this is happening for a reason.

As well as seeing your Gp try a vaginal moisturizer called ‘yes’. Wishing you all the best.

Yes to Evening Primrose oil - take orally plus break open the capsules and rub on the area.

Also coconut oil - natural lubricant with healing properties.

Have you had your hormones tested?

Did you have any tears or an episiotomy? Does your position during sex affect the discomfort? Does being entered by a finger(s) cause equal pain or discomfort?
No need to answer me but things to consider when discussing this with your dr.
I’d request a gyne consult btw

Please don't use EPO up there

Did you use Ovestin as directed? That means once a day for 2 weeks then twice a week after that - forever- (if it helped) or it will all come back. It can take weeks to get the full improvement, not days.

Did you use it like that? it's not a lube obviously and needs time to work on the actual tissues until they improve.

Why not @PollyPerky ? Genuine question. All the research I did suggested it was good?

I've been suffering with the same symptoms for 2 years now. Started when I was 23 and now I'm 25. It began during pregnancy so doctors have always said persistent thrush. After birth I started going to a sexual health clinic who have done multiple tests for thrush which all come back positive so I've been though numerous different treatments, all which work for some time then eventually the burning pain during and after sex comes back. I saw a gynecologist lastly who said she could see no visable signs of thrush and advised like with you that it is vaginal dryness and to use lube. It's not helped me! So I too am thinking hormones or endometriosis. But just know you're not alone! Hopefully we will get to the bottom of it in the end.

I had the same issue but mine felt as if the entrance of my vagina was a ring of fire. Penetrative sex was impossible. In the end it seemed to be caused by low œstrogene due to breastfeeding and the mini pill. When I stopped both things got back to normal very quickly.

Minmooch Only because if this is a hormonal issue the EPO would only act as a lubricant - like lube or olive oil or whatever else you might push up there :) It won't change the underlying problem.

I'm hoping the OP will come back and say how long she used Ovestin for because it can take 6 months to reverse severe changes. Some GPs don't know this and only give enough for a month or 3 months.

Thank you all SO much. I’m so grateful for your responses and I didn’t mean to abandon the thread —we got hit with norovirjs and haven’t had time to respond properly.

To answer your questions, I’ve only had c-sections so I don’t think it could be birth-related. The pain is a lot like what Booboostwo described — a ring of Fire around the entrance, worst around the bottom of the “ring.” It’s not deep pain so hopefully not endo.

PerkyPolly, I did the Ovestin every night for two weeks, then twice a week for two months after that. It really didn’t change anything, and in fact it just interfered with one of the only sexual things I can still do (oral sex). Is it possible that I would have seen results if I had kept at it? Another PP mentioned hormone testing, is it possible to have that done to see if hormones are the issue?

NotGoingToPlan , my GP did initially think it was thrush too. I took a regimen of oral fluconazole, I can’t remember exactly but I think it was every night for I think 8 days and then once a week thereafter? The GP said it would absolutely knock out any thrush that might be there. It didn’t change anything for me though.

Also, NotGoingToPlan , I forgot to say I’m sorry you are suffering too and I hope it gets better for you, especially as you are so young. In retrospect I think I’ve had this on and off maybe even since my 20s. It’s bad enough now that I am married with children but I know it’s much harder on a young person, when you expect your body to, ahem, work correctly in the bedroom. I’m in London and I have good private insurance so my next step is a private gynecologist, hopefully with specialization in this kind of problem. I will let you know what I find. Good luck

I had csections as well OP so that ruled out direct physical damage. I also realised I had the same issue a long long time ago when I first had sex. Penetrative sex was impossible due to the pain and I was told by a gyneacologist that it was because I was a virgin and because my partner was young and did not know what he was doing. Coincidentallly I then went on the combined pill and that solved the problem. If I were you I would push for hormone tests.

It might be worth looking up vulvadinia. Not much talked about in UK. It's basically nerve damage but feels like pain/burning in the area. Very much related to hormones.

Yes. Ask for Vagifem. It’s localised HRT pessery to keep your ‘undercarriage’ supple. You take them 3-4 times a week.

In my experience it doesn’t necessarily lubricant but make everything springy and young!
I was told by my consultant all woman from approx forty to ninety should take these.

Just to add, you don’t need hormone testing to try them. The doctor will go on symptoms.

OP You need to keep going with Ovestin beyond 10 weeks ( 2 weeks then another 2 months.)

It sounds more like vestibulitis / vulvodynia. You need a referral to a vulval specialist. There are some in the UK but few and far between.

There is a support group for the above online- check it out.

moving Vagifen is the same as Ovestin except a slightly different type of estrogen and a pellet rather than a cream.

Polly, are there any magic words to use for the doctor? I have the same issue, but it keeps being put down to a loss of libido from antidepressants. That is also a problem, but the physical pain is the main issue.

OP, thank you for starting this thread; it's really reassured me in a 'misery loves company' way. Hope you find a resolution soon.

For what it's worth I tried both oral and pessary estrogen and they didn't help at all.

Good luck everyone suffering.

Eanair- do a google search for vulvodynia. There are support groups and information on the site which you can use when you see a dr.

here- took me 30 secs to find it for you.

www.vulvalpainsociety.org/vps/index.php/vulval-conditions/vulvodynia

Thank you Polly - very much appreciated.

Apologies to bring this up but I came across this thread whilst searching for one I posted a little while ago, I've been putting up with painful sex for around 10 years and thought it was just one of those things, it sounds exactly like vulvodynia! My GP has referred me for a blood test to check my hormones and rule out early menopause as I have also had a couple of strange periods. If that comes back fine I may go back to the GP and fight for some sort of treatment. So good to know I'm not alone, also for everyone else who suffers