My mothers wellbeing

[worldsbestson]

Hello,

I'm pretty sure you can relate being mothers yourselves and this is the reason why I'm on this forum. Before I begin to let you into my life, I would like to give a moment of appreciation to all you mothers out there, we don't show it but we do all love you respectively.

A quick summary

I'm in my early 20's still living at home. I attend University full time and work a part time job. As every day/month/year goes past I notice my mother is getting old and isn't as 'active' as she once was. Always complaining about physical pain and other issues and I act upon it. Financially, I've been working since 16 so I already have that sort of independence that she doesn't need to spend money on me. I help out around the house when I can and generally be there for her but I think it isn't enough.

Just now, she made food for me out of goodwill and I felt really bad as she has a bad shoulder. I gave her a massage but still think that isn't enough.

From your experience, do you think there is anything more I can do to just make my mother forget about everything she's going through and crack a smile?

Her wellbeing in general affects me too. I can't focus in uni properly nor do I do tasks at work properly because I'm always thinking about her state.

I'm currently looking to pay swimming membership for her as I've been told that's a great way to release stress from your body but I need something to hit her emotionally/mentally.

I'm already planning a road trip around Europe with her as a means of relaxation but need something now. Any tips/advice you can give me?

Thanks for reading and your input!

It sounds as though you are doing a huge amount already ! What a thoughtful ,caring ,offspring .

Is your mum actually ill do you think ? We all get a few aches and twinges and perhaps you're worry is out of proportion ? Are you trying to make her happy ? I'm afraid ,lovely and understandable though the motive is ,this doesn't usually work .

She's responsible for her own wellbeing ,not you .

Can you sit down and have a chat with her ? Tell her you're worried about her and ask what ,if anything ,you can do to help .

Please don't let your life revolve round making her happy .

Your mum is lucky to have such a caring thoughtful child,, not sure if your male or female lol you do more for her then many do for their parents,, she must be a very good mum , people get slower as they get older unfortunately an i have noticed my dad seeming older lately but he isnt unhappy just a fact we must accept our parents will get old and oneday die ,an we will too one day but try not to worry an think about it too mcuh as worrying wont change the facts sorry

Maybe your mum should go to her GP - she could be depressed or affected by the menopause and her GP might be able to help .

I also think she needs an appointment with her GP as she might have an underlying health issue. Not necessarily something to worry about but she might be able to get some treatment.

I hope my daughters grow up to be as thoughtful and caring as you

I think you could be 'over worrying' about it. What you are really saying is 'I can't enjoy my life because I worry about my Mum all the time'.
Maybe your Mum likes to complain a lot when you are around. Do you think it's a form of communication strategy for her.
I'm only speculating now as you have said 'all she has to go through' and we only heard about her getting a bit older and having a sore shoulder.
She's an adult - no matter what age she is. She can manage her own life.
I would strongly advise she see her GP. There is so much they can do to assist her.
Why would you feel bad because she made you something to eat? It was her choice to do it. It's her choice not to go to the doctor about her pain. You don't need to feel responsible for her decisions. You can't change others either.
Very good of you to try to include her in your holiday plans. Hopefully you will get your own time away too. I would see someone your age using your vacation to go off on your own and enjoy time away from your family, that's very important too.
If you are feeling very overburdened with this, you could see the college counsellor and see if they have any suggestions as to how to support your situation with her.

How old is your mum? Surely she's only early 60s at the most. It seems to me that a road trip around Europe won't be great for someone who struggles with everyday living, as your mum seems to do.

Does she have friends? A job?