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I am so tired, have been to the doctor....

16 replies

Patttsy2001 · 03/07/2002 21:13

I wonder if anyone has had a similar experience? I am exhausted almost all day, don't have the zest for life I used to have and just want to lie on the sofa until bedtime. Sex has become a distant memory.

I have been to the doctor who sent me for blood tests (diabetes, thyroid, red blood count etc) which came back normal, I have been sent for some more (hormonal).

My concern is this: if I am well then why don't I feel well, I wouldn't like to feel like this for the rest of my natural (life). At the moment I feel that everyone would be satisfied if I 'agreed' to being depressed as that is what mothers at home with 3 children under 5 are supposed to be aren't they? But I am not depressed, at least I don't think I am. Can you be depressed and not know it, in some kind of denial?

My husband thinks I am becoming depressed as a result of being so tired, (which came first the chicken or the egg?). I am just fed up of dragging myself through the day, it is that which is really making me upset and sometimes tearful.

I hope someone of you Mumsnetters can help,

Best wishes, Patttsy2001.

OP posts:
susanmt · 03/07/2002 21:28

You can be depressed without feeling sad all the time! There are a lot of other symptome - like being tired all the time. There is a whole list and there are also a couple of questionnaires doctors do to see how depressed you are. It might be worth exploring the option of depression as it is so easy to treat if you are.
Hope you do feel better soon

WideWebWitch · 03/07/2002 21:30

Pattsy2001, yes, I do think you can be depressed and not really know it - I didn't think I was until I came out the other end really. But I know that feeling of dragging yourself through the day and wanting the day to end and then getting to the end of the day and thinking, now what? So the day's over? So? And NOW what do I have to look forward to - doing the same old bs again tomorrow?
Tiredness does do weird things to you too. There are questions a GP will ask to decide if you're depressed or not, and off the top of my head some of them are: are you eating? Are you sleeping? Are you suicidal? I was yes to first 2, no to 3rd, but I still was depressed. I couldn't speak to anyone, had no enthusiasm for ds or life, cried a lot, was excessively morbid and more. And I recognise that "no zest for life" feeling. Especially since I've got that back now. So I think there are grades of depression and levels of it. I don't know if that helps? Sex was also a distant memory for me then. (See the thread on "sex survey" to see how many others felt the same in this respect).

Sounds like it's not surprising you're knackered if you're at home with 3 under 5. Can you get a break for a night and day and see how you feel away from it all? Or talk to a counsellor or your GP. HTH. Good luck.

sobernow · 03/07/2002 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lollypop · 04/07/2002 20:12

Pattsy a friend had the same thing, she had blood tests that came back 'normal'. She moved house went to a new doctor who repeated tests. Her thyroxin levels were down, but when the first test was carried out they were only just normal. Perhaps you too are a boarder line case.

Jumping in on your thread I'm 15 weeks pg and have never felt so tired in my life. Last night I went to bed at 7 and had 11 hrs sleep and still feel shattered today. I was tired with DD1 but nothing like this. Anyone felt the same and when did it end? At the moment I go to work, see DD1 for a some time and go to bed, poor DH never see me.

Joe1 · 05/07/2002 07:47

Lollypop, I too have felt exhausted second time round, absolutely shattered. I am now 27 weeks and just get the odd day but I try to rest as much as possible and have really slowed my pace of life down.

monkey · 05/07/2002 11:39

Patttsy, I felt just as you described after the birth of both my kids, and both times, it was my thyroid. However, after the second birth, when I felt like this (baby was, I suppose 3 or 4 months old), I went to doctor certain it was thyroid again, and test came back negative. I was so tired I felt miserable and started to wonder if I was depressed, even though I didn't think I was IYKWIM. Anyway, reluctantly went back to doc & this time test for dodgy thyroid was positive (over-active again, although lots of my symptoms seemed to be classic under-active!).

Worth going back & getting thyroid checked again. Even if the thyroids not the problem, I find that if I am very tired I feel how you've described, so maybe in addition to whatever is discovered (or not) you need to be RUTHLESS in clawing some rest and sanity for myself.

I was definitely too much of a stubborn, 'I can cope' martyr!

Lollypop, I had mind-crushing exhaustion during both pg. It was horrendous

  • people have all heard of morning sickness & are sympathetic. No one seemed to have come across this. And I don't mean tired. Totally totally every-cell-in-my-body knackered. Even after tons of sleep, nothing helped.

    I was reassured it'd probably go after about 12 weeks, like morning sickness usually does, but it didn't, which made me feel totally desperate, but it did go eventually - towards the end of the 2nd trimester.

    Good luck.
Patttsy2001 · 05/07/2002 11:39

So is it possible to have a return to normal by taking anti-depressants? Would I have more energy and sex drive?

I don't think I am depressed, I eat well and healthily, I sleep well,(and so do the children most nights) I laugh and manage to get out and about. But I do all this feeling tired and sometimes crushingly so. I don't have suicidal thoughts or feel I have nothing to look forward to, on the contrary.

My husband, bless him, helps out a lot (by my reckoning). Most days he gets the children there breakfast before going to work, and in the evening baths them, and stacks/unstacks the dishwasher, hoovers and puts the toys away.

I was wondering whether it could be an allergic reaction, glandular fever or its after effects, low blood pressure? (All this after watching a couple of episodes of ER in the afternoon!)


OP posts:
monkey · 05/07/2002 12:32

Patttsy - can I have your dh?

Unloads dishwasher? Hoovers? Tidies away toys? Does he go to work too?


mears · 05/07/2002 12:43

Could you find an exercise class near you or a gym? It is probably the last thing you want to think about, but having been in your situation myself I think the less I did, the less I wanted to do. My dh does all the things as me and more around the house.
Exercise boosts your energy levels and gives you that feel good factor. Writing this makes me realise I need to take my own advice and get more active. Even a daily walk would do.
Sometimes I feel low because it seems if this is what life is all about it doesn't seem very appealing. I don't think it is depression. I think it is lack of excitement. Get positive and so will I

sobernow · 05/07/2002 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lollypop · 05/07/2002 22:15

Thanks for the comments. I'mup late tonight.

Pattsy could you be 'post viral'?

bossykate · 06/07/2002 07:44

Pattsy, I was recently feeling very much the same, together with minor ailments which just wouldn't clear up, so ended up going to the GP. She was great, very sympathetic, offered me counselling, anti depressants (thinking I had PND) - but like you I was sure I was/am not depressed.

In the meantime, I have been taking multivitamins with iron every day, together with echinacea. Also have been trying to go to bed early and have started exercising twice a week. I definitely feel better.

I'm also keeping a food diary atm to see if there are any issues there - I think I eat a reasonably healthy diet, but there could be some surprises, e.g. not enough water, too much caffeine, too much sugar etc - all the above can reduce your energy levels.

Do you smoke? I do - it can't be helping my energy levels! Not ready to quit atm, though.

To answer your question, yes I think one can be in denial about depression - but wouldn't like to speculate if that applies to us or not!

I have also been making an effort to have a bit more "me" time over the last few weeks - some shopping, the exercising, got hair done, out with friends a couple of times. This has definitely given me a boost. Otherwise it all seems like work, chores, sleep, work, chores, sleep in endless repetition, doesn't it?

maybe some of the above might help? hope you feel better soon!

Copper · 06/07/2002 12:14

And try to drink your 2 litres of water a day - this can really make a difference. Hard to believe but it does.

When I went to the doctors with the same exhaustion (desperate for something to be wrong with me so something could be done)the doctor did all the tests (negative) and finally said "What do you expect, you're a mother with 3 young kids that's what your life is like". Which made me fell heroic but totally unhelped.

Patttsy2001 · 08/07/2002 21:06

There have been many useful and kind comments on this thread, thank you.

I have been thinking of keeping a food/mood/energy diary for sometime now, maybe I should. (I have been taking a comprehensive multivitamin and mineral every day for a long as I have known myself, and I am not a smoker.) I eat a good diet generally, 5 fruits/veg a day, mostly oily fish and poultry etc. But I do like chocolate, red wine and cheese.

Maybe I am clutching at straws but has anyone or is anyone taking St John's Wort? Is it any good? I am wondering whether I should discuss taking it with my doctor. What is the recommended dosage? I've also heard of a remedy called (I think) 5 HTP or something like that, has anyone any experience of it?

Assuming the next batch of tests come back negative, I think I will have to embark on some sort of programme to rejuventate myself. I am overweight since having the children, and although I am quite happy being a 'tubby' maybe losing the weight may restore some of my lost energy.


OP posts:
PamT · 08/07/2002 22:40

I have heard a lot of good things about St John's Wort and did actually buy some to try myself a while ago. However, when I read up about it, there was something about it affecting the reliability of the contraceptive pill, and not wanting any accidents I decided against it. I know that some of the other European countries actually use it as a prescription drug against depression. One person who I used to know called it her happy pills, yes she still had the same old problems, but what the hell, she didn't give a damn about them, she just carried on grinning like a cheshire cat all day long.

Jendy · 23/08/2002 14:13

I don't know about anyone else but I find it quite difficult keeping tabs on and keeping up with threads.
I'm probably giving unwanted info but I did use St John's Wort before ds on horizon I'm not sure if it did or didn't work, if it works for you go for it. I stoppped using it during pregnancy and as I'm still b/fding I've not taken it since because I couldn't get any substantive advice on it's safety during prgnancy or b/fding.
I do sometimes use Bach's flower rescue remedy (I've managed to get some advice about it's safety) which doesn't remove your problems but seems to help me cope better. My dh whose a bit cynical about this sort of stuff even uses it occassionally and also thinks it helps.

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