Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Am I being horribly unsympathetic?

29 replies

TeeCee · 22/04/2007 21:13

DD1 has scarlet faver and DP has now got tonsilitus.
He's just being so typically 'male' about it and shuffling from bed to kitchen for more juice and paracetamol, groaning! He's been in bed all day long.
Funnily enough though once the girls were in bed he came down! He ate some tomato and mozzerala and poured himself a glass of red wine ! Then had a bit of a surf and took the rest of his glass of wine back to bed.

I'm finding it really hard to muster any sympathy for him and he's just iritating me with his male illing around me!!!!

Am I being really mean. Is he really feeling terrrible and I'm a bitch from hell?

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 22/04/2007 21:14

depends whether you get to take to your bed when you are ill!

WelshBoris · 22/04/2007 21:14

Cant be that bad if he's eating.

Bloody men

Frascati · 22/04/2007 21:15

No not at all. If he was in bed all day surely he can't be that ill if he is drinking wine?

3littlefrogs · 22/04/2007 21:18

I have had tonsillitis and believe me, I couldn't eat, couldn't swallow - not even a teaspoonful of red wine or anything else.....

Wotzsaname · 22/04/2007 21:18

If he only took his glass and left the bottle, I hope you a have a glass too.

Yes very irritating. Hopefully this improvement means he will be better tomorrow and in the right mood to do abit more.

Man flu (whatever) is far worse than anything I have been told

Original poster
TeeCee · 22/04/2007 21:19

Does any mother get to take to her bed if she's ill? Don't think I ever have!
And exactly, how can he drink wine if he's that ill.

As I suspected - I'm RIGHT!

OP posts:
TheArmadillo · 22/04/2007 21:20

If he lets you stay in bed all day adn then drift around eating and drinking alcohol when you are unwell then yes YABU.

If not then you are not.

Is irritating though. If you are well enough to drink alcohol then you are well enough to keep an eye on dcs for a bit.

Boco · 22/04/2007 21:23

That does sound really annoying. I'm very very bad at being a sympathetic partner - the children i can nurse, but not dp, it just annoys me. When i had a really bad kidney infection and was delirious with such a high fever, i forced him to come home to look after the children, and he shut them in the room with me while he made a huge roast dinner, which no one but him could eat! I've held a grudge for some time.

Original poster
TeeCee · 22/04/2007 21:23

I asked him to sit in the bathroom while DD2 was having a bath so I could tidy up quickly and he couldn't, he was toooooo ill!

An hour and a half later he can eat toms and mozz and drink wine !!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
TeeCee · 22/04/2007 21:24

I am a crap nurse at the best of times really but as I suspected he's just being a huge wimp!

OP posts:
Tatties · 22/04/2007 21:40

Your dp doesn't sound that ill. I am rubbish with sympathy for dp, when he's moping about it just feels like I have another child to look after and I get rather irritable

Original poster
TeeCee · 22/04/2007 21:47

Love that you are all the ame with your DPs/DHs!
Hurrah!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 22/04/2007 21:51

When you're really ill, the very thought of drinking alcohol just turns you off completely.

He's taking the mick.

Tatties · 22/04/2007 21:52

Exactly expat

Original poster
TeeCee · 22/04/2007 21:53

Exactly. I was very cross when he poured himself a glass and chucked the rest of the bottle! I'm not drinking at the moment or I would have had it!

Right, at least I don't have to worry about any twinges of guilt at not being sympathetic.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 22/04/2007 21:56

Hell no!

Seriously, think back to the last time you were really ill.

Did you feel like surfing, nibbling cheese and drinking wine?

Doubt it.

onlyjoking9329 · 22/04/2007 21:58

i would have been sympathetic until he reached for the wine.
he has obviously made a full recovery.

pooka · 22/04/2007 22:03

I had tonsilitis after Christmas. Thankfully dh was off work and I was able to take myself to my bed. Couldn't eat or drink anything apart from soluble paracetemol for a week. Had fever, large dose of ABs, felt like any exertion was far too difficult. Still helped with bathtime/being with kids as much as I could, but pretty much slept for the whole week.
So your dp is not that ill IMO.
Also, post-illness, have picked up any bug going, including 3 colds, terrible cough, mouth ulcers and d & v bug since beginning of Jan - it really knocked me for 6.
But lost a lot of post-baby weight, so every cloud ....
Hope your dd1 feels better soon TC.

PenelopePitstops · 22/04/2007 22:06

wine and tonsillitus he cant be that ill!

is he on antibiotics as i thought you couldnt take these with wine?

3littlefrogs · 22/04/2007 22:15

What do you mean "chucked the rest of the bottle"?? Are you SERIOUS??? Where did he chuck it? I have never been known to discard wine.

Rachmumoftwo · 22/04/2007 22:31

Someone who once worked from me had to take the night off to nurse her dp who had flu- if it had been her dd I would've understood, but what kind of an excuse is that!

bananabump · 22/04/2007 23:00

I had a bit of a sniffly cold about three weeks ago, nothing to write home about, just had a bright red nose for a few days and got through a box of kleenex. My dp got it after me, and suddenly I get an email requesting I buy in a box of lemsips for when he gets home. Two days off work spent moping around in his pants scoffing paracetamol like sweets later (thank god he isn't paid by the hour) he suddenly says "and I have no idea where I got this cold from!"

Emprexia · 22/04/2007 23:32

Tell him to stop drinking juice.. really, orange juice and Tonsilitis.. not a good combination. I'm just wincing at the thought of it!!

And no, you aren't being unsympathetic. He's a grown man, you have a sick child to take care of. Tonsilitis isn't the end of the world, even if it is horribly uncomfortable.

But then, i have little sympathy for people who tell me they're "dying" from Tonsilitis, i had to have mine removed after i got so sick with it that i became immune to the antibiotics my temperature went upto 101 and i got told if i didn't have them out i'd end up in hospital.

The pain post op is 100x worse than what he's experiencing.

rabbleraiser · 22/04/2007 23:38

My dp is the absolute pits when he's 'ill.' He closes the curtains, gets into bed, and groans. He actually fucking groans. I hate him so much when he's 'ill' that I want to smother him with a pillow. Ha ha, then we'd see how ill he really was (whether he could muster the strength to throw me off).

He also manages to be 'ill' more regularly than me. This is because I can't be ill because I've got a child to look after. For men, this is alway optional.

Generally speaking men are pathetic in this area, and I think we should all agree to have nothing at all to do with them at such times.

Of course, they're always the possibility that one day they might be genuinely ill while you're in the kitchen banging pots, but that's what happens with little boys who cry wolf .

rabbleraiser · 22/04/2007 23:40

And 3littlefrogs, you're so right about the wine thing. How could you possibly throw it away? It's ridiculous.

Swipe left for the next trending thread