i posted the other day about being anxious

[cheeryface]

mainly focused on ds2 health.

tonight i have been asked to go out with my friend for her birthday. i haven't been out for ages.

how can i make myself go without worrying ds2 is going to become ill while i am gone.

o.k i do know it's irrational but the thread about the poor 5 year old dying hasn't helped me and i can already feel my anxiety rising.

please if anyone can understand this give me your words of wisdom.

those who think i should pull myself together need not apply

My first thought is, if you know that it's going to make you so anxious that you won't enjoy the evening, then don't go.

But do please make an appointment right now to go and see the GP, get some treatment so that next time you're invited out you will be able to go without making yourself ill.

basic of anxiety is that when you go into the situation that makes you feel anxious (i.e. going out), your anxiety starts to rise, then getting more and more (say just before you go out) - so then you decide to avoid the situation because it is so awful.You will then feel more anxious next time, avoid etc etc, so you end up with it being a real problem. However, if you ride it out ('surf' the anxiety) and put yourself in the situation anyway, eventually your anxiety feelings will peak and begin to reduce and you will begin to feel more normal about the avoided thing (i.e. going out, in your case). It takes time, and lots of practice, but its worth it. Maybe set up a pre-arranged time to call home to check everythings ok? Remind yourself that whoever is looking after your child is trusted and capable, and if you notice a 'catastrophising' thought come into your mind, try to recognise it as that and tell yourself 'this is because I feel anxious'. That starts to re-educate your thought patterns in the long term - hope it goes well anyway x

for a long time i have made excuses which i thought were justified. like he's got a cold, i won't go, it's only a night out. not important etc

but, i have come to realise that every time i am asked out there is ALWAYS something that is holding me back and most of it never happens!

i am limiting my life i know and my friends think i don't care to be with them probably.

it's ridiculous i know.

one friend was really put out once because ds1 had come down with something and i wouldn't go for the meal we had arranged. she thought it crazy that i didn't just trust his dad.

thanx for the advice btw

Cheeryface,
I know it will be tough if you go out tonight but I really really do recommend that you go.

I have been suffering with anxiety for quite a few months now and I find it very difficult to go anywhere now purely because I kept avoiding the situations when they arised.

Really try to do it. As you've said it is an irrational thought. Take a mobile with you and call home if you need to check.