Contraception

[Jayc]

Its been a long time since anyone posted anything here - I wonder if anyone is still looking in....Anyway, I'll give it a go. I've just started taking the pill (progesterone only) and I'm feeling very low. I'm not sure if its the pill, or exhaustion or, or, or, but I wondered if anyone else had found that the pill brought them down. Any experiences?

I was sterilised in December after having 4 children, and I have to say it was the best decision I made. It is more complicated for a woman than a man, as it involves major surgery and a general anaesthethic, but I was in and out of hospital the same day, and back to my usual routine after about 3. I feel liberated now, because I have no worries about getting pregnant again, yipee!

I got sterilised after 4 children too - would have loved to have had more - yes I know I am a sicko
I also found the procedure to be fine. I was a bit uncomfortable for a few days but just rested in bed with dh running after me. DD was only 3 months old so I concentrated on feeding her only.

It was my decision to be sterilised because I don't believe in vaesectomies - can feel a lot of responses coming here

The reasons I have are that men naturally are meant to be fertile for life - women are not.
I remember looking after a girl whose husband was much older than her. He had been married before and had had a vasectomy but his wife dies suddenly of a brain haemorrhage. He was very lucky in that his reversal was successful. He had never thought he would have any more children but here he was having a new baby with his second wife.
My sister, who studied genetics, reckons that men who have had vasectomies age quicker because their bodies are breaking down their own ceels ( sperm) all the time and the process extends to all areas. More responses definately coming - scuse the pun

meant cells

Forgot to say that a bonus is that it is an instant result. If we had had to wait up to 6 months for dh to be sterile I would have wangled another baby out of him

blimey, better not let dh get the snip as he is already starting to look ancient

I'd like to speak up in favour of the abortion pill. I really don't believe that it will 'encourage' women to have abortions or look on them as a form of contraception, and I think its value lies in saving women from going through a risky and traumatic surgical procedure.

It will only be available through the same route as a surgical termination, therefore subject to the same scrutiny and medical supervision.

I have never had an abortion myself but know many women who have - all sensible, responsible women, none of whom took the decision lightly - and think it's important to remember that no method of contraception is 100% failsafe and that we must have the choice as to whether to continue with a pregnancy or not. Once the decision has been made to end it, it can only be good that women have available a method that is timely and as safe as possible.

I do know someone who went to her GP as soon as she missed her period and had a positive test result, ie at 4 wks, and had to wait until 13 wks on an NHS waiting list for a surgical termination. Meanwhile she looked obviously pregnant, had terrible nausea and suffered severely with psychological problems supporting an unwanted pregnancy for so long - she seriously considered trying to 'fix it' herself in some way. If women can be spared this kind of experience then I'm all for it.

I've been sterilised, twice! I became pregnant 11weeks afterwards. I had a termination at 7 weeks 4 days, which they also messed up. Ended up on antidepressants and it took me a year to get over the whole thing. I decided to terminate as I would have had three under three and we had decided that two was all we wanted. Because the first steriilsation was not done properly, superating wound etc lots of high strength antibiotics because of wound infection, the baby could possible have been damaged.

I was sterilised again about 3 years later, I wanted to have it done under a local but the consultant said he might have to remove my fallopian tubes to make sure, but in the end I have three clips on one side and two on the other - look like a washing line on x ray! One of the original clips had come off.

Apparently the failure rate is higher in the first year after the op, something they didn't tell me at the time, they also insisted I must have been pregnant at the time of sterlisation, but a scan showed clearly that I was 7 weeks.

We were advised to sue but I couldn't bear the thought of the process, plus we wouldn't have got legal aid, so I put it down to bad luck.

I never regret either the termination or the sterilsation and it was 15 years ago now. I never dwell on the baby that might have been , the only time I remember is when discussions like this happen.

I think being sterilsed is the best option, I too didn't want DH to have a vasectomy as if anything happened to me I wanted him to be able to have a new family. I knew how much I wanted kids and didn't want to possibly deprive someone else of that.

I do get 'mittelschmertz' which is mid monthly ovulation pain, which can be common in the early years post op but not as much as I used to as I am now approaching 45!

It does make a difference to your sex life! (positively!!)

My husband had had a vasectomy when I met him as he had already had 3 children and didn't think he should have any more. I was 35 and desperate to have children. He decided to have his vasectomy reversed and I am now pregnant with our second child. However, a vasectomy reversal is a BIG DEAL and I certainly would not recommend anyone having a vasectomy at the young age my husband did (34) as you just don't know what will happen in the future. I am not planning to have any more children after this one so I will probably try the mirena coil which sounds great.

I had a C-section for my one and only dd, and decided to have a Mirena coil fitted, as I have not managed to take the POP at the same time two days running, let alone for two weeks! Unfortunately, the attempted insertion at the local FP clinic was awful- painful, I bled for 3 days and as they hadn't managed to insert it, I'm still trying to decide on the next best option. I think that the difficulty in insertion was because of the C-section- my cervix has never been stretched, as it would have been if I'd had a normal delivery. I didn't know that an anaesthetic could be used, and I will certainly look into it, but am seriously contemplating either sterilisation or packing dh off for the snip. I'm not sure I could cope with dh aging any faster, though- he's already 47 going on 67...

Mears, I could have written every word of your message, as it exactly mirrors my own experience and also explains why I didn't want DH to have a vasectomy.

Ladies

I know this thread has dealt with mainly female contraception but I need to ask a question.

Would you feel comfortable with the man in your life taking a male version of the pill or having one of the new implants once they are cleared?

Would you also trust men enough to believe them if they said that they were using them?

Tissy
Will let you know how i get on tomorrow - see my earlier posting... Mears take note!!!! : )

SimonHoward, welcome back, I thought you had deserted us! RE male contraception. I know that my DH is even less keen to have another baby than me and I don't think he would take any risks but I still don't know if I could let him take all the responsibility or if I would trust the pills/implants enough to rely on them. The thought of having an accident really scares me because I really don't want any more children now, it would be so impractical but if I did get pregnant by mistake I don't know if I could have a termination. I don't want to be sterilised, not do I want my husband to have the snip, just in case our circumstances ever change and I do want another child. I'll stick with the female contraceptive pill for a few more years I think. SimonHoward - would you trust yourself to take a male pill and would DW be happy with that? (I know that she is wanting another baby in the not too distant future so I don't suppose it is an issue just at the moment) BTW are you any wiser about August 1st yet?

fms,

I am looking forward to your update because I have never heard of this being done. I will need to ask my colleagues who work in the family planning clinics to see how often this is done.
Isn't it great to know you don't know everything. Once again mumsnet is a mine of information

SimonHoward, I have a male friend who took the pill and says that the side-effects are quite awful, they included loss of erection, headaches, nausea, etc. I suppose if you don't get an erection then they would work quite well as a contraception!!!

As for the abortion pill, I think we are on iffy ground really. I have a website for unplanned pregnancies and I do get a lot of emails from women who have had abortions and then regretted it later. IMO there is not enough counselling available before and after an abortion, so I doubt that there will be adequate counselling with this new pill. Plus, if you have the miscarriage in your own home I think it would be more traumatic in many ways, than having a clinical abortion. After all, note the way they describe it as a 'miscarriage' rather than an abortion, a miscarriage really is quite awful for the woman, whether she is prepared for it or not.

I'm sure there will be some women who would take the abortion pill at a later stage than it is intended for. Would it then only partially work and cause problems for both mother and baby or just a really horrific miscarriage? What checks would be made on the length of the pregnancy before it was handed out?

Simon, nothing to do with trust...I would not rely on my husband to remember to take a pill every day. He can't even remember to put his socks in the dirty laundry. And in my single days I certainly wouldn't have relied on someone else for birth control. It actually surprises me how many men rely on women they don't really know for birth control. I have met more than one woman who has gotten pregnant on purpose while leading the man to believe that they were using birth control.

i think the male pill is an excellent idea. men then have more freedom to chose whether they want children or not and it would certainly be something i would take my son to the doctors about when he is dating say - 14,15 or 16 years old, as i have every intention doing with my daughter. this way when they are young and stupid and their whole world is run by teenage angst i can give a helping hand and make sure they get the best opportunity at having great teenage years pregnancy free!

PamT

I'd never dersert you, I haven't been online so much due to having some time off.

DW would trust me and if I could get away with it I'd start on them right away.

As for August the 1st, nothing so far but I'm already applying for other jobs as things are looking worse all the time.

Custardo

Why on earth would your son need contraception at 14 or even 15?

Maybe it was just me and my friends but I was one of the first to have sex and I was almost 17, the rest were way older.

Saying that though I do have friends in the USA that went onto the pill when they were 14 as their parents knew what they were like and took action swiftly.

I'd never trust my dh to remember to take the pill - this is a man who constantly forgets where he's put his wallet, keys, mobile etc, and who often leaves the house having forgotten to close downstairs windows that he has opened.

Plus, he'd like another baby quite a lot, and doesn't seem to be able to grasp that I mean it when I say that I never ever want to be pregnant again. However, for that reason I could never ask him to have the snip - if anything should happen to me he might meet someone else and would almost certainly want more children.

I think custardo is just being realistic, SH, however much we like to think our children won't need contraception at such a young age.

I lost my viginity when I was only 15, probably quite old by todays standards. It was the worst thing that I did, bringing all kinds of complications. I wish that I had waited until I was older. Could turn into a very interesting thread this....come on own up everyone!

I am going to souns awfully boring here - I was 21! And with my current dh, and there's never been anyone else. How rare/late is THAT by today's standards?
Just while talking about sterilisation too - male sterilisation has a lower failure rate than female, although both can fail, and sofar during it's use the mirena has been shown to be a more effective form of contraception than female sterilization.