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Original poster

My poor ,lovely mums wobbly legs.(anxiety related?)

27 replies

madoldcatlady · 17/04/2007 14:47

For the last 10 or so years my mum has suffered with the feeling that her legs aren't strong enough to hold her up. She can walk no problem, she just can't stand still.

I'm 99% sure it's anxiety related as is her GP. She is always much worse when she's upset or stressed.

She can no longer stand to do the ironing, que in a shop or stand in church without gripping onto something and setting her legs so rigid that she shakes from head to toe.

She is a wonderful person, one of the kindest people I've ever known. Inspite of her problems she still works as a volunteer in a homeless shelter.

What breaks my heart is the way she told me yesterday that she feels as if her life is closing in on her as she finds things so difficult due to her leg problems. She's a very young 66 year old, in good physical health and although widowed a few years ago she has a good social life and very good friends.

She's had hypnotherapy to no avail, taken betablockers, again to no avail and she's currently on prozac (has been for 3 weeks) and if anything is worse now than before.

Sorry for the waffle, but I'm hoping someone has experience of this and could offer some ideas/hope!

OP posts:
TooTicky · 17/04/2007 14:49

HOMOEOPATHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Proper classical homoeopathy. Can tell you about it a bit later if you like but have to detach dd2 from breast and rush to school pronto.

GameGirly · 17/04/2007 14:50

Aww, I'm so sorry. I'm afraid I don't have anything useful to say, but 66 is so young to find life so difficult. I'm assuming she's seen a doctor?

Original poster
madoldcatlady · 17/04/2007 14:53

She's been to her GP many times over the past few years, and although very sympathetic they haven't been able to offer any real help.

She's also seen a local GP who uses alternative therapies too. He recommended the hypnotherapist but as I said she didn't have any success with him either.

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Original poster
madoldcatlady · 17/04/2007 14:54

TooTicky, I'd be very interested to hear your thoughts on homeopathy when you have a minute. Thanks.

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BigEggLittleEgg · 17/04/2007 14:58

I know this is very very insignificant in comparison, but I used to have a "thing" about being able to carry a tray of drinks into meetings, or even two cups of coffee, when I was a secretary. My hands would shake so much I was physically unable to do it, and I am not exaggerating, I would literally spill everything. Fine though when carrying drinks at home, or in the pub etc, just not into a meeting or office.

It was all in my mind and just the thought of it would make me shake really badly. It sounds like your mum might be feeling something similar, but obviously much worse as it affects her life so much more (mine was an avoidable situation, unlike standing).

I can offer no solution but just wanted to add my sympathy for your mum, as it must be so frightening for her. I hope when TooTicky comes back her homeopathy suggestion is helpful.

Original poster
madoldcatlady · 17/04/2007 15:10

Thats amazing BELE!

Mum told me yesterday how she'd gone into a cafe to sit down because she's had to que in the bank and was very upset at the way her legs had let her down yet again.

She got a tray and a sandwich, tea cup & saucer, milk jug, tea pot and hot water pot. After paying she realised there was no way she would be able to walk from the till to her table carrying the tray. She had to take each item one at a time across the cafe with big tears in her eyes because she felt so foolish.

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Original poster
madoldcatlady · 17/04/2007 15:12

I should also say thanks for sharing that. It sounds very much like what mum has. A type of social phobia the doctor has called it.

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BigEggLittleEgg · 17/04/2007 16:32

I used to make a joke of it at work as there was always someone who could help me out, but if I knew a big meeting was coming up and no-one was around I would really start shaking before I had even gone near any cups etc. Your poor mum, at least mine did not get in the way of my life and at the mo, being a SAHM, I rarely have to carry any trays of drinks etc. If I am in a cafe etc I always stick what I can in my bag and carry everything separately if I am on my own, even though I dont get the mad shaking in a situation like that.

It is DEFINITELY all in the mind for me. I think I probably dropped a drink in front of an important client or something (not that I recall doing anything like that) but it's what I always feared! Interestingly, I once had to carry a tray after a couple of sneaky lunchtime drinks and was FINE! Does your mum ever have a tipple? Does it make any difference?

Original poster
madoldcatlady · 17/04/2007 17:31

The only time she doesn't wobble is when she's had a drink. Thats what convinced me that it's a psycological problem rather than physical. When she's had a couple of glasses of wine and is nice and relaxed she's fine. The problem is she'd have to be permanently pissed to be able to stand upright!

OP posts:
BigEggLittleEgg · 17/04/2007 17:56

Ah bless her. Poor thing. It really does sound similar. Maybe just a quick sherry before heading out each day? Must be so awful for her. Hope you find a solution soon.

Original poster
madoldcatlady · 17/04/2007 21:08

Just bumping this up. Any suggestions to help my lovely Mummy?

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Original poster
madoldcatlady · 17/04/2007 21:17

TooTicky! Please tell me about homeopathy!

OP posts:
TooTicky · 17/04/2007 22:03

Sorry, it's been one of those evenings!
Right. I don't know how much you know about homoeopathy but it treats the entire person rather than just individual symptoms. When you visit a homoeopath he/she will take your case which includes any current/past symptoms, personality/behaviour/feelings/recurring dreams, etc. This should take at least an hour to be really thorough.
Homoeopathic remedies each have a specific set of symptoms. These are the symptoms caused by the remedy when taken by somebody who doesn't need it. When the symptoms of the patient are matched with the symptoms of a remedy, and the correct dose given, the patient's treatment begins. If a remedy for an acute situation is given, this will work fairly quickly. Remedies given for chronic cases can take months to run their course, although the effects may start to be felt immediately. Only one dose is given of one remedy (no mixtures) at a time. When a remedy has run its course (which the homoeopath will determine by regular reports made by the patient) another remedy may be given.
I hope this makes sense. Please feel free to ask questions if you want to know more. Also, depending on where you live, I may be able to recommend a homoeopath.

Devonshire · 17/04/2007 23:08

catlady, your OP was so lovingly written that it made me cry. i really hope that some of the advice on here is helpful and that mum gets some respite soon.
xxx

Original poster
madoldcatlady · 18/04/2007 07:31

Thank you TooTicky for your explanation. I'm not sure on her feelings about homeopathy, she can sometimes be very negative about things she hasn't tried before. However, I know my Dads Mum was a great believer and went to a homeopathic hospital for years. That may help persuade her.

We are in West Yorkshire. Do you know any homeopaths up here?

Devonshire, when she told me how bad things are she sounded and even looked like a little girl. She was so sad, I had all on not to cry with her.

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Original poster
madoldcatlady · 18/04/2007 07:38

I wonder, as this is a mental issue, if I ought to post in "Felling Depressed"?

OP posts:
TooTicky · 18/04/2007 09:18

I don't know about West Yorks, will ask my homoeopath and let you know.

Devonshire · 18/04/2007 09:36

bump

BigEggLittleEgg · 18/04/2007 12:06

Hello catlady, just checking back in to see if any updates. I can imagine how hard it must be seeing your mum so down and feeling helpless. Really hope she tries the homeopathy and it does help her. She's got nothing to lose (well maybe a few quid but surely well worth it if it gives her some independence again). Been thinking of you.

Original poster
madoldcatlady · 18/04/2007 12:38

Thanks TT BELE and Devonshire. I'm going out with her tonight so I'll take the opportunity to talk about trying homeopathy.

I'll let you know how I get on. Thanks again for your help and concern.x

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TooTicky · 18/04/2007 14:22

I have spoken to my homoeopath and atm he doesn't know anybody personally in your area but he is going to see some at a college up there in May and maybe after then could recommend one. It would be worth travelling further though, as you only really need to go once for the time being, then reports are done in writing or by phone. But this may not be convenient. My homoeopath lives 30 or 40 miles away from me. Anyway, there are excellent ones in Basingstoke, Bath, London, Bristol...oh, and Israel. Just in case your mother happened to be going to one of these places anyway.... or I will let you know what my homoeopath can find out in May.

Flowertop · 18/04/2007 14:32

BELE you sound so much like me and have never heard from someone else who had/has that problem. I too shook from head to toe when having to take drinks into a meeting in the past and have had to turn down jobs which entailed this activity, in the past. It started from a horrible boss taking the piss out of me when I had a big tray of drinks and dropped one of them in front of very important clients. From then I had to ask a colleague to help me everytime we had visitors. She never knew why but duly obliged. I do have a social phobia condition so this is only part of it but thought I could not let it pass without a mention.
MOcatlady you sound like a truly lovely daughter who your mum must be proud to have. Hopefully you will find some help with the homeopathy. Let us know.

BigEggLittleEgg · 18/04/2007 14:46

Flowertop, nice to hear i am not alone! I was overjoyed when we moved offices and had catering staff who did it all... I felt such a fool when I had to ask for help. I remember once carrying literally two mugs (not even cups with saucers, which was much worse) into my boss's office, one in each hand. Just him and a client I knew well, but I was still all over the place and shaking. Really silly as I am fairly confident overall. Your ex boss sounds a real a-hole...

Catlady, really hope your mum agrees to give it a go, maybe just get her to think how fabulous it would be if it DID make a difference and she could go out with confidence again.

Incidentally, if you stand with her, say arm in arm, does it help, or does she still feel as though she cannot support herself?

Original poster
madoldcatlady · 18/04/2007 14:59

Aw Flowertop that's very sweet of you.

As Devonshire (my little sister) will, I'm sure agree, our Mum is a very exceptional lady. She worked as a Special Needs teacher all her working life, raised 3 children with enormous love and kindness, cared for our alcoholic Dad til his death in a way that none of us could comprehend at the time, but I now recognise that as a totally selfless love and unswaying devotion to the man she vowed to love through thick and thin.

As I've said she continues to care for those in the homeless shelter, whom others have long since given up on.

She is an amazing Mother and Grandmother. Our children adore her and she them.

She deserves to be cared for herself now. I do my best to do that. I hope I can help to mend her so she can enjoy the reward of her gifts as a Giver and a Carer in the strongest sense.

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BigEggLittleEgg · 18/04/2007 17:35

Arrggh I am going to cry now. Did not realise Devonshire was your sis. Your mum sounds so lovely.