Age difference starting to cause issues.....

[fish6634jf]

Hi all

I am new to this site i heard of it through a friend as a good place to talk to people in a similar situation.

I am 39 and my wife is 49, when we got together 5 years ago things were great now however i feel very neglected and that the intermate side of our relation is dwindling away. We dont kiss, rarely hug dont have sex not through lack of trying..... i think i am someone who is just there for her now but i am only 39 and dont want to stop intimacy at such a young age!!!!!

Anyone else in a similar situation to me?

Gra

Imo intimacy isn't an age related issue.

She may going through or approaching the menopause and all sorts of symptoms can start..such as lack of libido.
Be patient the menopause is shit..loads of info on it online .

Obvious question, but have you discussed this issue with your wife - there might be any number of reasons why she is no longer enjoying intimacy - it's difficult to advise without any clues about what the underlying issue might be from her point of view.

Libido waves and dips, have you asked her?

Thanks for your replies

Yes the topic comes up quite often, she said she just has no interest in sex what so ever. I 100% trust her and know she wouldnt cheat. Its just difficult because if she no longer wants sex does this mean i have to stop at 39? That might sound very very selfish but i feel it's very young

’if she no longer wants sex does this mean i have to stop at 39’

If you want to have sex with your partner and she doesn’t want to right now then what do you think the answer is?

This doesn’t mean it’s going to be your life forever. It could just be a dip in libido at the moment, as pp have already said.

Maybe make her go and have a medical check-up to see if she needs any treatment of some kind. A lot of things happening at around 50.

The doctor perscribed her with hrt but she refused to take saying she still has periods so she cant be in the menopause

I am guessing your wife must have had symptoms prompting her to go to the doctor, when the HRT was prescribed - or was the consultation specifically in connection with her declining libido? HRT can be prescribed in the run up to the menopause, so having periods isn't in itself necessarily a reason not to use it.

Has she spoken to the doctor again - if she has been prescribed something she doesn't feel is suitable she really should go back and discuss it. If she is having other gynaecological/hormonal problems, they are likely to affect her attitude to sex, aside from any direct impact on her libido.

She went to the docs originally about her mood swings and thats the reason behind the hrt pescription

I think she should go back to the docs and discuss whether the HRT really is suitable - she can have a blood test to check her hormone levels if she hasn't already, and there are different strengths available. If there's no hormone deficiency, there must be another reason for her mood swings and maybe that could be explored and if addressed, it might help with the low libido.

Not every woman wants the risks associated with hrt. If you love her you’re going to have to stick with it. Could you try relationship counselling?