Shit dont know what to say to dh

[KathH]

One of his best mates died about 4 yrs ago suddenly from brain haemoridge (please excuse dreadful spelling) his other best mate collapsed in a coma last week due to alcolhol related issues & isnt expected to make it, he's on a ventilator & unconcious. Dh is in bits.. I dont quite know what to say to him to make him even the tiniest bit ok. Help!

Just hold him and love him

I remember a friend who'd had a terrible time saying that there was nothing anyone could say to make her feel better, but just being there, making a cup of tea, hugging, generally letting her dictate how she wanted to be and being ok with it was what she had needed. Sorry for dh.

the ting is I'm trying to be here for him, the only experience I have is my dad who died 3 weeks after being diagnosed after having cancer aged 50 & I feel whatever I say I'm saying the wrong thing iyswim

SAy that you don't know what to say or do, that you wish you did but you are here for him - then give him the hugest hug and tell him that if he needs anything just to ask.

sorry for your DH.

His bf is only 40 - what a terrible waste, he has a 15 yr old daughter who my dd1 is frinds with

Have you spoken to DD1 about how to be there for her friend? SHe may be feeling similar to you in that respect.

Just make sure that he knows you are there for him when ever he needs you. IME men need time to go thru things on their own where women are more likely to want to talk things thru.

Do try and talk to your dd too. She is probably not too great either.

KathH, so sorry, so sad. Just be around for him.

thanks for your replies - just trying to be there for dn. Cant believe his bf might not be here much longer - he recorded our wedding, he went round to wake dh up when ds was admitted to hospital - if i'm honest I know he's awlways had a drink problem but h's he's been such a good mate to dh & me too