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Original poster

smear today - nurse said (tmi alert)

35 replies

makkapakka · 11/04/2007 21:19

I had a lot of discharge around cervix and was I aware of it? I said not really - not different from usual and surely there is more as mid-cycle and ovulating.

am stressing now it means something sinister. it is not offensive (according to nurse) and I certainly haven't noticed anything untoward...

I do have a vague memory of being in labour with ds and the mw saying I had cervical erosion - could it be that? help - worried.

OP posts:
SpawnChorus · 11/04/2007 21:25

Maybe she was just trying to make a bit of light conversation...like a hairdresser asking where you're going on holiday...

I'm sure it means nothing sinister, esp if it was 'inoffensive' (lol) and you haven't noticed anything untoward. Besides, she would surely have told you to see a doc about it if she thought it was anything to be concerned about.

Hmmm...do you have a cold at the mo? That seems to increase all things mucousy.

Oh and cervical erosion does, iirc, mean that you produce more slime. I was diagnosed with it having presented myself at the doc with a soggy fanjo.

yesireallycan · 11/04/2007 21:26

Sounds like you're ovulating - I've been told this before. I have also been told I've got a capacious fanjo, although perhaps I'm only admitting that because I've had one glass of merlot too many.

foxinsocks · 11/04/2007 21:29

lol

who told you your fanjo was capacious?

I have cervical erosion and get the same thing, if that helps.

I imagine it probably was a sort of hairdresser type comment as spawn suggests!

coleyboy · 11/04/2007 21:29

am loving the use of fanjo. Had never heard of it before MN!!!!!!!!

Original poster
makkapakka · 11/04/2007 21:30

absolutely pmsl at both your fanjo-talk

she was a right dour woman, actually. I AM ovulating anyhow - silly moo.

weird as the mw mentioning erosion is SO in the depths of my subcoscious mind - must have been near 10cm dilation, I bet!

have v funny tale of friend who recently went to nurse for smear - friend hasn't been sexually active for about 10 years and nurse had probs getting the whatsit up, then as she was shoving away, telling X to relax, she added these words "Get yourself a vibrator, have a play around and explore a bit". pmsl, poor friend was mortified!

OP posts:
lou33 · 11/04/2007 21:32

every time i have a smear (due one in a couple of weeks) i get told the same thing

it's high and tilted and they need the extra long speculum

you would think it would be in my notes by now

foxinsocks · 11/04/2007 21:32

aah ovulation would explain it - don't worry! Now you just get to sit back and wait 6-8 weeks for the results!

yesireallycan · 11/04/2007 21:35

Actually it was this sexy bloke at uni that I had a heavy-petting-no-actual-sex type relationship with. I think the actual words used were "quite big inside" . Thankfully DH does not seem to have an issue, fanjo-wise.

I had a similarly embarassing smear test incident though when the nurse couldn't "find" my cervix and brought in another nurse to have a look. There I was, legs akimbo, with two of them rooting around up there with a torch and a speculum. God, dontcha just lurve being a woman?!

Twiglett · 11/04/2007 21:35

I have had about 3 different nurses end up taking swabs of normal cervical fluid around ovulation ... its almost as though they don't understand the female reproductive system .. bizarre

a cervical erosion is quite common too and nothing to worry about ... had them too

hth

Original poster
makkapakka · 11/04/2007 21:36

thank you! wise words. am now terrified of gettiong abnormal result, esp as I read bfing affects it (finished a month ago)

OP posts:
Nemo2007 · 11/04/2007 21:36

makkapakka I was told this last week but nurse said it was probably all hormonal...no clue but didnt really think about it..lol

foxinsocks · 11/04/2007 21:38

I, too, have the impossible-to-locate cervix grrr (retroverted uterus etc. etc.)

Perhaps heavy-petting-no-sex bloke had a miniscule willy and was coming up with excuses in advance

Original poster
makkapakka · 11/04/2007 21:40

nurse said "are you aware of this?"

"er, well, not terribly aware of mucous status around cervix, no"

OP posts:
coleyboy · 11/04/2007 21:43

Well, if we're going to share stories...

A nurse once put the wrong size speculum in me. This happened pre-child, and she used the largest size. I nearly shot off the bed in surprise and agony!!

Oh, and once I forgot to take my knickers off. Please don't ask how I managed to do that, cos I have no idea. I can only put it down to nerves!!

A friend once had a smear done by her male GP. Mid procedure she noticed that her knickers were on his shoe. They had fallen off the chair she had put them on, and onto his foot. ha ha ha!

Original poster
makkapakka · 11/04/2007 21:44

coleyboy - very funny, esp knickers on foot, lol

OP posts:
SpawnChorus · 11/04/2007 21:45

My first ever smear test was embarrassing. The nurse showed me the cubicle for getting undressed and as she walked out she dropped a stinky silent fart. It ponged out the whole room. I'm sure she was more embarrassed than me, but I still cringed.

And when I went to get my soggy fanjo investigated the nurse shouted out into reception for a small speculum (for my fit fanjo of yesteryear lol!). No small speculum could be found, so she said 'well we'll just have to use the large one then. Now just relax and let your knees fall open.' I was a quivering wreck.

yesireallycan · 11/04/2007 21:46

You mean you are not intimately acquainted with the texture, colour, position, and shape of your cervix at all times lol??

Original poster
makkapakka · 11/04/2007 21:56

how nice to use a large one! does it go THROUGH cervix then? I thought it went at bit facing downwards and out...?

OP posts:
Wallace · 11/04/2007 21:58

oooh didn't realise the speculum come in different sizes! I have a mental image now of the nurse standing there eyeing you up to see what size she needs

Last time I had a smear the doc said "Just imagine it is your dh coming at you in the dark"

Original poster
makkapakka · 11/04/2007 22:01

oh, Wallace, am pmsl

OP posts:
yesireallycan · 11/04/2007 22:03

Well if it was my DH coming at me in the dark I'd probably pretend to be asleep lol

InTheseShoes · 11/04/2007 22:03

I had a smear and an internal at an FPC years ago (pre children) and the doctor was very friendly, asked me what I did (at the time I worked in Health) and sympathised when I told her, exclaiming that I must work very hard, and that because it was (by that point) 8pm, I must have had a long hard day. It was really pleasant to chat to such a nice woman, and I'm sure it helped me to relax. Anyway, she began the internal, and then said "not as long as mine..." - I didn't know what to say, she was so friendly, but I still wasn't sure that I wanted to have a discussion about the length of my vaginal passage compared to hers, I was about 22, and really not sure of the etiquette.

And then she said;" Yes, I've been on the go since 5am..."

Wallace · 11/04/2007 22:05

ROFL

coleyboy · 11/04/2007 22:07

This is the best thread ever, I have got tears running down my cheeks!!

fuzzywuzzy · 11/04/2007 22:10

My friend said when she went for her last smear a few weeks back they used a disposable speculum, she said it was plastic and much more comfortable than the usual metal ones.

During my last smear, the nurse went 'oooh I can see your cervix, would you like to see your cervix???' I politely declined and told her I never ever wanted to see my cervix ever..... I've mentioned this stroy here before I'm sure of it...

Oh god yes and also I found myself, legs akimbo, with the awful realisation I hadn't shaved my legs...I'd showered and everything but utterly forgotten to de-fuzz...I absolutely had to apologise to the nurse for the fact, who happily regaled stories of her having to do some kind of nursing course and ending up flashing her hairy legs to her fellow students, we really bonded