Total loss of libido,how abnormal am i?

[Blackmoon]

I have never had a massive libido but over the years it has decreased more and more.I think that me and dp had sex two or three times when i was expecting dd2 and following her birth have only done it once,she is 18 months old now.
The thing is it isn't that i just can't be arsed with it but i just dont have any desire at all for anything sexual. It has got to the point now where i don't even look at other men and fantasise.
I even turn the telly over if anything sexual comes on as i get so embarrassed if dp is in the room.
Tell me what a freak i am now

If you're a freak then so am I.

This feels like more than just a lack of interest though,i mean i feel nothing anymore,i dont even do it myself anymore

Not everyones got an active sex life you know. You are not alone. When I was younger it was great, but now, well its not the same, physically and mentally its different, with longer periods of nowt.!
You're not a freak!

I even stopped taking my pill as i read a thread on here once about the pill lowering libido.............it hasn't made a jot of difference ,i am numb from the waist down.

I feel like a freak though and i feel like a fraud.

i suffer from lack of libido whenever i'm not on the pill/injection.
have to go on it just to get it back

Could a physical problem deplete your libido like this though?

quite possibly
all sorts of things can affect it
have you tried talking to GP? not easy i know, felt very daft as a 23 yr old having to go to doc for not wanting sex

no i haven't seen a gp about it for that reason.
I even avoid having a smear because i cant abide the thought of anyone down there.

are you on anti-depressants or depressed?

I do have depression but not on antidepressants

Loss of sex drive is commonly associated with depression (strangely as are some AD's)

Are you doing anything to tackle your depression or do you hope it will just pass?

BTW - you are not a freak at all!

I am about to embark on councelling.
So it may not be me then more like the depression?
I hope so.

oh yes - infact it is an indicator of depression and you may find doctors etc. asking you about it.

I am very glad you are going for counselling. I hope things pick up for you really soon.

One day at a time....

Thankyou.

Blackmooon, feel very similarly. Pretty much everything you said rang true. Someone suggested to me that talking to a nutritionist might even help?! Could be diet related.

I've not really exercised since I had the baby, I'm wondering if that could also be the issue. Feeling huge, and just not having so much energy as before.

I'd be interested to hear how you get on. I'm going to do the mundane thing and try the gym for a bit...then think about next step...

You're definetly not a freak. I really enjoyed sex up to about 6 months pregnant and then it became uncomfortable and too exhausting. First sexual encounter after that was about 2 months after DS's birth but was more out of curiosity that desire. After that I just wasnt interested and only had sex a handful of times until DS was 3 years old. Then I hit my 30's and my libido came back.

I remember feeling almost asexual after DS was born. I didn't masturbate and didn't want sex. I did it occasionally because I felt guilty that ex-p (together at the time) was going without but it felt like nothing - not intrusive or boring - but like watering plants or flicking through a magazine. Like something you do that is neither boring, desirable or enjoyable. It wasn't a chore or unpleasant but it wasn't something that I was bothered about doing either.

Sorry I've really waffled here, but your post has reminded me of how I felt a few years ago. It's totally different now though.