Gadgets in the bedroom

[julessussex]

My husband is permanently glued to his phone, he plays a computer war game on it continually. It drives me absolutely mad, he never engages in conversing me or shows me any interest. He lies in bed playing it too and I struggle to sleep because of the light his phone emits. He is constantly tired because he plays it until the early hours every day.
I asked him to consider how it feels for me being married to someone who behaves like this. I also think that it is effecting my health, i have told him I don't want the phone in the bedroom, that it is not conducive to sleep. He got angry and I have been forced to sleep on the sofa. I am so unhappy and fed up I just don't know what to do, our kids adore him and he can be really loving and supportive towards me, he is a good man other then this ridiculous addiction that is driving us apart. What can I do?

He is so far out of order, he can't even see it.

This is an addiction as you say Jules. My DP can get a bit carried away with certain games, he has got to a point where he was setting his alarm for 4am to wake up and play some battle game, when he realised it was getting silly and deleted the game. He usually finds a new one pretty soon, but as soon as it starts taking over he is very good at going cold turkey! (he quit smoking the same way when he realised it was controlling him).

It is hard, like any addiction, your H needs to see that it is causing a problem and needs to acknowledge it before anything will change. A short sharp shock along the lines of "its me or the game" should do the trick. And mean it. Who the hell wants to come second best to a blinking phone, bad enough that it's taking his attention, but that it also means you end up sleeping on the sofa is totally unacceptable. xx

If he is incapable of limiting his own usage you may need to give him some time constraints e.g. you have an hour after the DCs are in bed, then we do something together. Without this your marriage won't survive. He could be rubbing your feet or scruffling your hair while you watch a movie together, bringing you closer together, rather than putting something in between you.