Anxiety

[razzledazzel]

I am experiencing health anxiety over my newborn that is getting worse and don't really know how to snap out of it. It stems from my ds being hospitalised at a week old and having to have surgery for something that was potentially life threatening then being re admitted 3 weeks later with the same symptoms. He has been fine ever since but we were told that the condition he had could reoccur.

After the second hospital admission I felt a bit better, relieved almost as up until then I had been living on pins that something was going to happen to him but this time the drs were unable to find the cause of the problem and it resolved itself.

For a few weeks I relaxed and just enjoyed spending time with and getting to know my son but lately I've started worrying again. It's little things that sets it off like him being sick a little bit of milk. If he does it more than a couple of times a day I start panicking and if he doesn't poo for a couple of days as these are some of the symptoms of what was wrong with him I start thinking it's happening again. It's really hard as things that normal babies do such as being sick or constipated could be something more serious with my ds and I can't find a balance where I step back and relax and stop worrying all the time.

The last few days I've been really teary and keep thinking that something might happen to him in his sleep. Before I go to sleep I'm constantly checking him to make sure he's breathing and if my dh is doing the night feed I don't want to leave him. I really don't know how to stop feeling like this.

Well first all stop being so hard on yourself - the way you are feeling is very normal.

It hard to advise without knowing what his health condition is (can you say please) but you should have been given a proper list of things to watch for by the dictors and some guidance about when to bring him in. If you've not had this ask for it - written down if possible. That way you can be objective - say if he hasn't pooed for a day but the guidance says it's ok for him to go two days without worrying about it then you can have something objective to not worry so much.

I would be a msss too if my baby had a life threatening condition which I wasn't really sure when it could crop up or if it will come back so knowledge is your friend and your route to less anxiety here.

Secondly get an angel care or similar breathing monitor so you can sleep st night. It goes under their mattress and an alarm sounds if they stop breathing - will stop you checking on him as much.

Thirdly really verse yourself with what you'd do if there was anything wrong with him again - get baby first aid training, know how you'd could get to the hospital or be able to call 999.

Lastly ask for some counselling and speak to your health visitor. Having a sick child is a shock and sounds like you need a bit more support to talk over what happened and how you can live with his condition going forward.

Thank you for your reply his bowel was in the wrong position and twisted on itself so blocked up. They had to straighten it out and reposition it. When he had his follow up I asked all the questions regarding likelihood of it happening again etc and they said it could happen again but the biggest concern now would be from scar tissue blocking it. This is what they think happened the second time although they can't be sure.

The main things they told us to look out for were bloating of the stomach, being unable to pass wind/poo and being sick (but green sick). I think I get worried so quickly because when he first got ill it happened so fast he was absolutely fine when we got him home that first week then literally overnight he was being sick milk then within a few hours it turned bright green and he was rushed into hospital. They said the chances of it reoccurring get less the older he gets. I know I need to relax a bit more with him but I'm just finding it so hard. I thought that as time went on it would get easier but I'm getting worse.

I've heard of those monitors for the breathing so I will look at getting one of those.

I hadn't thought about counselling, perhaps that's what I need. I think a big part of it is having no one to talk to about it. When it happened everyone was asking if he was alright and I would tell them what was going on and when he came out of hospital if I told anyone I was worried about him they just kind of said oh he's fine now and shut it down, so I stopped saying anything if that makes sense? I suppose I have kept how I'm feeling to myself as everyone thinks it's all sorted now whereas I still haven't got over it.

Makes complete sense - all anyone wants to hear with a baby is that they've recovered and they are ok. It's not that easy for the parents. I've been through similar and have been told trauma can take months, years to settle in and get over. You aren't going to get over what happened in a few weeks, especially as like you say he's still got an ongoing chance of issues.
Do ask your gp for really clear written guidance as to what to watch for - go through the things you worry about - like if he sicks up once should I worry? Reassure yourself that it won't be the same even if it happens again as you know what the issue is now and he is also stronger and bigger.
Do ask about counselling.

Sorry to hear that you have been through similar, it's awful. I will definitely be speaking to my health visitor regarding counselling that's a really good idea. She did ask me about ptsd when it first happened but at the time I was on cloud 9 just to have him home. Thank you for listening and for the advice I really appreciate it.