Am I having some kind of emotional breakdown?

[NobbyNobberson]

Firstly, I have a lovely and very blessed life. I know this fully.

But I am anxious about everything. I can't seem to book trips away. I would love to, but I get to the point of booking and have a total panic.

I have a long standing hobby that involves keeping animals. I'm stuck between wanting to throw it all in because it's too overwhelming, and total panic at the thought of anything changing with it.

I have a current work project that I'm having a meltdown over. I have barely slept for 2 weeks worrying about it. I feel sick and the deadline is approaching at speed and my boss just doesn't seem to get it that this event is going to be a disaster because I can't make it work. I have spent most of the weekend in tears and can't work out how to fix it.

I feel like I need help, but have no idea where to start.

I just want to be happy. I haven't ever been very good at talking about how I feel, but it feels like I'm broken. I don't know what to do ☹️

I don't have any advice, but didn't want you to go unanswered. You do sound like a rational person and know yourself best. Do you have a good friend / partner that you could talk to? That might be enough to help you feel back in control.

Best of luck

see GP. Chronic anxiety is no joke

It sounds as if you have anxiety or depression - you do need to see your GP, I have depression and my DSIS has extreme anxiety (what youa re describing sound more like what my sister was experiencing, but I'm no doctor) - we a re both on meds which help us (different meds for the two different conditions).
First port of call is your GP, explain how you feel (write it down if you find it hard to talk about - write what you have written in your post) and see what s/he suggests.

There may be various options available - a combo of drugs/ therapy etc whatever suits you best. But you absolutely don't have to live with this and there will be something that can help you feel better. Good luck.

Maybe see your GP for help. The other possibility apart from anxiety that springs to mind would be something like Aspergers but would need more to go on. It's very common with this not to cope with change, not to be able to communicate feelings, to have meltdowns and to have obsessions. My son possibly has Aspergers and is animal, number and soft toy obsessed. Would need quite a bit more to go on though but just thought its something to think about.

Thank you all for your replies. I spoke to my boss today about the event, and explained my worries and he has agreed some big changes which make my life a lot easier.

I'm feeling a lot less distressed then I did last night but agree that I do need to speak to someone to help me find a way to manage my anxiety in the future.

I think Aspergers might be a thing for me to follow up. I'm not spontaneous and am a creature of routine. It's change that I can't control that really panics me, but I also think that might be a throwback of previous family trauma.

Thank you all again for your replies. Hopefully the immediate panic is gone and I can sleep tonight. Things always look better after a good sleep

Glad your boss has agreed changes and hope you got some sleep. I think we all have challenges at work from time to time.

I would tackle things one at a time and don't be too critical of yourself.

With the break I would maybe do an easy break first, somewhere where everything is easy like activities are close by or there's organised excursions and the travel is straightforward. With things like the animals maybe write out pros and cons of each and make a decision though I would be tempted to keep the hobby.