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Original poster

Had some terrible news

31 replies

Radley · 05/04/2007 20:31

I posted this a short while ago.

She had brain surgery last thurs, she should have been home the day after, but, due to complications she had to stay in and came home today. I have found out she has grade 3 brain cancer and is waiting to see the radio/chemo consultant.

I sat here not knowing what to do or say.

OP posts:
tinkerbellhadpiles · 05/04/2007 20:34

Blimey, that's a blow to say the least. There is not much anyone can say to either you or her but you are doing the right thing being there. Keep on visiting and contact CancerBacup to get some decent info - honestly, knowing about the disease can help enormously.

Good luck

babalon · 05/04/2007 20:39

Again a horrid vicious disease lands

Just be honest with everyone including yourself if you want to say something just come out with it don't think of what it is.

Encourage your friend to be very open too there is nothing worst than wishing you had later on.

Big hugs good luck to you both

Califrau · 05/04/2007 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Radley · 05/04/2007 20:47

I've decided I am going to do something for her, but, don't know how to go about it. I don't want to send her flowers, chocolates, teddies etc, I want something personal from me to her.

Does anyone have any ideas?

OP posts:
michaelad · 05/04/2007 20:48

I have lost almost my entire family to this evil disease...oh Radley, so sorry!
Be available, be an ear, be a shoulder and tell her everything and anything you ever wanted to say!

Califrau · 05/04/2007 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

michaelad · 05/04/2007 20:49

And do not be afraid to ask her how she's feeling..some days are worse than others!

Original poster
Radley · 05/04/2007 20:50

califrau, i have LOADS of stuff for scrapbooking, used to do it a while ago but not done it for ages, and, to be honest, would not have a clue how to go about it, as we have no pictures together.

OP posts:
michaelad · 05/04/2007 20:50

Excellent idea, Califrau! Full of things that mean something to the two of you!

tribpot · 05/04/2007 20:51

Well, we don't know her of course, but one thing my very good friend did when she was diagnosed with cervical cancer is set up a wishlist of fun DVDs and books she could watch/read to take her mind off things. Assuming obviously your friend doesn't want to do that, is there anything you could buy she would enjoy? How about knitting? There's a hell of a lot of sitting about involved in chemo/radio from what I hear.

Equally, is a present what she needs right now? I fully appreciate you just want to do something that says "I'm here and I care and I want you to call me if you need to talk", in which case flowers say it as well as anything.

I really am very sorry to hear about her condition, and I can guess, but not know, how you must feel too It's truly awful.

LittleEasterLapin · 05/04/2007 20:51

Something really positive Radley - like Cali says, maybe a scrapbook, with loads of great pictures and memories, and quotes and silly stuff... and things about plans for the future, so she feels you have a really positive outlook (even if you don't feel it) and hopefully that will transmit to her.

michaelad · 05/04/2007 20:52

doesn't have to be pictures of you two together though..anything with fond memories.. and besides, what's stopping you taking a picture soon?

michaelad · 05/04/2007 20:53

Yes, plan something for the future. It gives her something to hold on to..something to "live" for!

Original poster
Radley · 05/04/2007 20:58

I have set the wheels in motion, I have sent an e-mail to someone in hope of a signed photo of a VERY VERY popular band, in the hope i can get a signed piccie to include.

We also have silly names for each other, which other peope [hmmm] at so they can be included, i'm sure if i sit and think i can bring up more stuff for her

OP posts:
Original poster
Radley · 05/04/2007 20:59

michaelad, thanks for that about the picture, nothing is stopping us, i was in fact, due to be travelling there tomorrow, but, due to complications, she won't be well enough, so i've had to cancel tickets.

Also, i've not said, she lives 245 miles away and i don't drive, I desperately want to see her, but train travel is out of my league at present.

OP posts:
michaelad · 05/04/2007 21:06

who does she like?

michaelad · 05/04/2007 21:08

as in famous people...

Original poster
Radley · 05/04/2007 21:10

She adores Take That

OP posts:
chocolatekimmy · 05/04/2007 21:46

You need to demonstrate that you are there for her and that you are supporting her - even if it is long distance. Use phone, email and text and visit if you can. Don't be afraid to talk openly about it - try not to skirt around the issue. She may need someone to allow her to be open about how she feels without fear of how they will react.

I hope you have support too.

noddyholder · 05/04/2007 21:50

I bou8ght a photo album at a car boot sale and it is full of pictures of take that They are just snaps from the first time round but are very personal looking and I could send you some if you would like them Who is her fave?Some great ones of robbie and mark outside their homes in manchester xx

Original poster
Radley · 05/04/2007 21:50

chocolatekimmy, unfortunately, I don't have that support and to be honest, I'm finding it hard to deal with, but, i'll get by.

OP posts:
Original poster
Radley · 05/04/2007 21:51

Noddy, that would be fabulous thank you, thank you, thank you

OP posts:
noddyholder · 05/04/2007 21:52

cat me your address and I'll post them tomorrow xx

Original poster
Radley · 05/04/2007 21:55

noddy, i don't know how to cat you my e-mail is

rae - 1973 at hotmail dot com

OP posts:
noddyholder · 05/04/2007 21:56

ok

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