MIL has cirrhosis, please tell me things about it

[FrannyandZooey]

if you would be so kind

Sorry that you are in this situation.

Thanks lionheart

dp just went searching on the internet and found the page fox linked to which said most people die within 5 years

I am really not sure how he is feeling about it all

I don't think there's an awful lot you can do - took me years to come to that conclusion

alcoholics have to want to give up and have the will to do so - it's very draining supporting them although I'm sure having support probably does help in the long term

do you think her alcoholism has sprung up because of some sort of mental illness? that often complicates matters

No I think she is just a fairly nasty and miserable person with a nasty and miserable life

I don't think we are supporting her at all, that's part of the awfulness of it. We don't like her. Ah the bloody guilt of it.

her dd is very kind to her though. Her dh is kind of useless but very sweet. Things could be a lot worse for her but I don't really see she has much in life to sort herself out for.

I think dp would need to speak to her doctor (or perhaps his sister would know) to find out what their idea of a prognosis is. They can also do liver transplants these days (but there would be all sorts of conditions I imagine).

Does she think you should do more to help/support her?

It sounds like she does have a network of sorts if she needs it.

My father was told that he would be dead within 5 years irrespective of him stopping drinking (not sure he had be diagnosed with cirrhosis at this point tho). He didn't stop drinking, drank more in fact and went on to live another 10years.

Whoops, my apologies Franny. Didn't mean to interrogate. What I was trying to say was that it sounds as if a studied detachment

is the sanest course unless she made things nasty for your dp, or was really alone in all this.

I know it's harder than it sounds, though, 'cos even if your Aged P is vile they are still your parent.

No, no problems lionheart

I just didn't have the heart for this thread today. it was nothing anybody said

I agree with your last post but just feel guilty and rather nasty about it

and sad for dp that this is "the best" course of action with regards his own mother

SMS that doesn't sound that unusual, it seems

I'm afraid that it's almost impossible to be very close and supportive to someone who is basically slowly killing themselves, no matter whether they are horrid or nice.

It's a bit like someone sticking their hands through your rib cage and squeezing your heart with all their might.

Your dp will basically have to act like the parent in this case and do as much as he feels he can but I agree - if she chooses not to stop drinking, all you can do really is watch with horror from afar.

Not at all easy.

should also say franny, that's it's understandable not wanting to think/talk about it all the time (says she bumping the thread non intentionally) - take it easy (both of you) and take care of yourselves.

Thank you both (and everyone who has posted on here)

yes I think I can only think about it in quick bursts

will put it away for another few weeks now