What if I've given myself cancer by smoking?

[Lilychouchou]

I'm 31. When I was about 17 I STUPIDLY started smoking - smoked heavily through uni (a pack a day, often more on a night out). After uni I cut right down - 3-5 a day but still lots more when drinking. This went on until I was about 26. I then stopped during the day and only smoked when on nights out, then two years ago stopped altogether.

In the last couple of months I have slipped when out having a drink and had a few cigarettes here and there, culminating in going to a friend's party last night and drunkenly having about seven cigarettes.

I know last night alone won't have done anything but now I just feel so horribly guilty and so bloody STUPID for ever having smoked in the first place. I'm determined to stop again now for good but I'm just in a right state about having smoked for so long on and off.

I'm an anxious person anyway and I'm convinced I'm going to get lung cancer (or a smoking related cancer) in the next several years. It'll be all my fault. I have thrown my life away and done so much damage to myself. I hate myself please can someone hold my hand?

Well on the bright side, literally every minute you've not smoked improves your health. First your blood CO levels drop, then your risk of various stuff including cancer drops too.

Have a look at this:

whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Benefits_Time_Table.html

If you feel tempted again, remind yourself you're resetting that timeline

I'd work on the health anxiety but to answer your question ...

Nobody knows of course. HOWEVER there is a body of evidence that has shown that if you stop smoking by the age of 30, within ten years, your chances of lung cancer are the same as those of someone who has never smoked

So you're the same as everyone else IF you stop now and stay stopped

Could some of this be the hangover making you anxious? Hangovers can make me feel terrible mentally.

I also smoked as a teen, into my mid 20s. The last few months I've slipped back into it too and feel the self loathing that comes with it.

I've started reading the Allen Carr stop smoking book. I've not quit yet, but plan to.

The best thing you can do is figure out a way to rid yourself of the addiction. Easier said than done, but you can't undo what's done; you can prevent any more damage in the future.

You gave up before you were 30 - you stand a much better chance of avoiding a smoking related illness because of this. Try to stop with the odd cigarette now, and try not to worry.

Is the problem drink related.

It does sound like you fall back into smoking or smoke more when you have had a few drinks.

Could monitoring your alcohol intake be the way to go. Being aware that you are more likely to smoke when your inhibitions are down.

Thanks so much everyone, you're so lovely

My DH who has never smoked is getting quite annoyed with me wittering on and on about it all the time, so it's so helpful to have people to chat to here.

NC4 it probably is the hangover a bit. I don't feel too bad but definitely have the anxiety. Hopefully will feel better tomorrow.

Sorryh00p I definitely need to sort the health anxiety out! I have seen that study too but can't shake the fear that I'll be diagnosed with lung cancer or something awful in my 30s and will have to admit to everyone that it's all my own fault

Oliversmum it is definitely drink related, I never smoke sober anymore. I can usually be fine drinking without smoking but lately have given into temptation. Need to stop.

Thanks again everyone I really appreciate it x

PS NC4 good luck quitting

Try giving up or strongly reducing booze too if it's a trigger? I accidentally almost stopped drinking - I've had about two occasions with booze in three years. I got pregnant, and just never really fancied it after that. The couple of times I've had a drink I've realised how shitty and anxious it makes me feel. Even quite small amounts. I'd not class myself as TT but I do fee much better for it and don't ever feel fussed about it now (though I was never really excessive before to be fair.)

Definitely give up those odd ones too. Even one a week is super bad for you (background in cancer genetics.) well done on quitting

Unlikely to get lung cancer in your 30s but every day you smoke you are more likely to get it and many other illnesses a bit further along your life's journey. Just give up completely.
Alcohol is also highly carcinogenic in more than minimal quantities. It's not health anxiety, it's rational thought that smoking will harm your health.

Anatidae and Crumbs you're both so right, I really need to cut down on the booze too. We never really drink at home or during the week but our friends are pretty heavy drinkers socially so when we have a night out at a restaurant/pub/house party I end up binge drinking basically. I know that's hideous for my health too so am really trying to get a grip on it - I'm not 21 anymore so have to stop acting like it!

Thanks! I was like you for years, just having the odd one when I was drinking. My mates used to joke it was how they knew I was pissed!

Then these last few months I've fallen right off the wagon.

I'm 40 FFS! Old enough to know better....

Also Crumbs you're right about it being a rational thought, no point in burying my head in the sand. I think the part where I think I've got health anxiety is that I can't just think right need to give up and grow up - I start obsessively thinking I've got cancer and googling nonstop and getting very upset and panicky. Sounds so stupid now I've written it down (and so ridiculous when I'm a health anxious person anyway that I indulge in too much alcohol and cigarettes when it's so dreadful for me!). I eat healthily and am trying to do more exercise but all a bit pointless when I'm still smoking.

It's such a slippery slope though isn't it NC4 and easily done!! Let's both nip it in the bud (when you're ready to of course), so pissed off at myself for giving in - have been so good and even when I'm surrounded by smoking friends haven't fallen off the wagon so why am I doing it now FFS?!

I smoked from age 15 until 27. 6 years very heavy, 6 years just a few.

When I learned that if I stopped before 30, that my lungs would be as good as a non smoker within 10 years, I gave up.

It wasn't easy, but have been a non smoker for 9 years now. Hate smoke now, but in the beginning I did think about it a lot.

Good luck x

It's highly unlikely you've got lung cancer now. Of course it's possible, but it's possible for non smokers too. You can only in rare circumstances definitively attribute an individual cancer to a specific event or substance. What's a fact is that statistically smokers (even light ones) get lung cancer at a much higher rate.

But I agree with the poster above who says this isn't really health anxiety. It's your body telling you it's under strain. Heavy drinking and even light smoking are damaging - there's no debate about that.

Rather than be driven by fear and worry, try to make quitting fags and cutting down on the booze an act that's positive and taking care of yourself. Ext time you go out set a goal - maybe no cigarettes at all, alternate with soft drinks, set a limit for alcoholic drinks and make that limit well under the point you'd go 'fuck it.' Say two or three. Max. And stick to it.

Good luck. These are both powerfully addictive substances. Cigarettes have no redeeming features at all and booze doesn't have many to be honest if you're not able to moderate well.

See it all as an act of self care.

Thanks gluteus x do you reckon it's true that you genuinely avoid the risks if you stop by 30? Just seems a bit mad. Everyone has an auntie who smoked their whole lives and lived to their 90s of course, in fact my grandma was one - but my granddad died very young of smoking related stomach cancer so who bloody knows

If you want to, this book I'm reading makes some good points. I reckon by the end I'll be ready to quit for good.

do you reckon it's true that you genuinely avoid the risks if you stop by 30?

You don't entirely avoid the risks, but if you give up before you're 30 your health is almost as good as a never smoker. I'll dig out the research tomorrow at work if you like.

Here's a good link.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/women-who-give-up-smoking-before-the-age-of-30-can-cut-97-per-cent-of-health-risks-says-study-8228919.html

Thanks SheRaaaargh, I saw that earlier actually. Really hoping it's true!! Thanks for taking the time to look it up for me

NC4 thanks I read that before I quit a few years ago! It's great, maybe should reread it. Think it's true when he says there's no such thing as just the one.

Thanks Anatidae, you're right. I am going to really try to sort my life out and make a positive change.

It's true. Look at the study it's based on.