I need to understand the process of chemo better

[Savvyandchips]

I'll try and be Brief...mil diagnosed with bowel cancer about a year ago. Inoperable in terms of it being in a very difficult to reach place without causing a mess internally (apparently). She's had about 6 months of chemo then was given a few months break which was well needed as the side affects were horrendous. The chemo had been working in terms of blood results and it shrinking. However after the break it has grown again although just slightly. She doesn't like to talk of it and when we've tried to ask about long term outlook she says docs don't talk in terms of that but more the here and now (I've no idea if this is true, we fear she's trying to reduce stress for us as we've 3 young kids and have had a awful 12 months ourselves for various other reasons). What I want to know is will they just continue this cycle of chemo and breaks? I'm scared she'll just one day say enough is enough. Hard to be there for her as they are south coast and we are in the lakes...so can't easily pop to see her. It's all so shit, any advice? Could she have chemo for the next xx years despite it working but just keep growing again. Sorry for the ramble, just need to understand what is likely to happen

Your MIL is right that most (decent) doctors don't offer opinions on long term outlook, simply because they don't know for sure. If a patient pushes they can give them the statistics, but that will be for the population as a whole.

Different people respond to different chemo differently. It is fantastic news that the chemo has worked for your MIL, so, yes, it is perfectly possibly to continue with the cycle of 6mths on then a break for a good while yet (possibly years).

However, if she is inoperable, then sadly it is unlikely she will ever be cancer free, and realistically, the 5 yr survival rate for someone in this position is fairly low. The bowel cancer uk site and Beating Bowel cancer site are fairly useful for all sorts of things if you want to know more.

Ultimately your MIL will weigh up quality of life versus buying more time, so people (especially if they are older and/or really struggling with side effects) may decide to decline treatment at some point. This is a decision to be respected.

Hope this helps a bit, does she have other family/friends for support nearer home?

Thanks 1234... I will look at those sites. I am struggling with the inoperable aspect. I assume that she might be looking at a stoma if they were to go in...but surely that's better than the other awful option. I do understand it's got to be her choice though. But on a selfish note I'm sad that If she goes in next few years my little ones just won't remember her and that fills me with a huge sadness. Bloody hate this.

Unfortunately, a stoma would be the result of an operable tumour reduction. If they've said it's inoperable, then surgery and a stoma is not an option.

Chemotherapy can reduce or slow the growth of a tumour, either as part of an active treatment plan or to reduce symptoms and relieve pain.

Hey OP . Tough and sad times

The honest feedback from my experience is.

In general with an inoperable cancer it's a few years left .

As eventually it's will either spread to somewhere else . Or it will become more severe .

You are at the making memories . and fair enough she did want want to face up to it .

Spend time with her ehen it's feasible , educate yourself and then if you can attend the consultant meetings (again distance is not easy)

To some extent they can keep going with chemo but it's so gruelling many people say 'enough'

I hope that wasn't too blunt . She might well surprise you , but she might not

I guess we know that 1/3 of us will get this and I guess the less scared you can be , and the more calm and pragmatic (especially about non dramatically making time for her ) the easier it might be

Wishing you and her the best

Hey you OK
OP ?

Hi stop, yes I'm ok...I did ask and I appreciate the honesty, but it all makes for pretty grim reading. It doesn't sound like we will have her much longer (although I do appreciate nothing with cancer is certain).