I've been in denial about my gum disease

[lostfrequencies]

Pretty much as the title states, I feel I've been in denial about my gum disease, and now it's time to face up to it. But I'm scared and ashamed.

My dental hygiene was never good as a child - I remember hating the sound / feel of brushing my teeth and my parents sometimes having to hold my nose so I would open my mouth, or putting soap on my toothbrush to see if I had used it. Bad habits continued into my teens, lax dental hygiene alongside smoking and a high sugar diet meant that I had my share of fillings. As soon as I moved out age 17 the regular dentist trips stopped and I only ever went in an emergency. The last time I went to the dentist was about 5 years ago (I'm now 29). I don't smoke anymore and my diet has improved, but I am embarrassed to say that I am still haphazard with dental hygiene. I do clean my teeth twice daily but I don't floss or use mouthwash on a regular basis.

I can see that my gums have started to recede. They have bled every time when cleaning them for the past 2 years or so, and on and off before that. I have a hole near the back of my mouth when part of a filling fell out last year and I never did anything about it.

I had trigeminal neuralgia a number of years ago, thought to be triggered by dental work. This was the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced and I live in fear of it returning. This adds to the worry about going back to the dentist, because I would undoubtedly need a lot of work.

What triggered this post was a bit of tooth falling out this evening, and it looked awful. Grey, crumbly. I'm guessing it's dead. Luckily it was at the back of my mouth again. There's no pain yet but I think there will be soon as there's a whacking great hole.

I guess I'm writing this in order to gather all my thoughts together, to really show myself that I must get this sorted. I have a baby now and I'm no good example to her.

I'm just terrified of going to the dentist and so so ashamed.

Has anyone here been in this position?

Don't be ashamed. There are dentists that specialise in treating dental anxiety. Someone will be along with advice shortly I'm sure.

Your parents put soap on your toothbrush! That's horrible (flowers)
At least you are brushing twice a day that's a great start.
Why not try some disclosing tablets to see if your brushing is effective.
And be brave, book a dental checkup.

www.nhs.uk/Livewell/dentalhealth/Pages/Fearofthedentist.aspx

Good advice on NHS choices.

I have severe gum disease, I finally went to the dentist in April after a tooth seemed to be wobbly.
I have lost 4 teeth, bottom molars which I never got seen & my dentist is working with me to not lose anymore.

My bottom front teeth have also moved as I had brackets put in from orthodontic treatment & after all the work is done going to try & sort that out.

I was terrified of going & being judged.
I now make the time to brush my teeth twice a day & use mouth wash. Starting root removal of the teeth on Friday & going from there.

If the noise bothers you, you can look at sedation for any treatment you need.
Just be honest & hopefully your dentist will be as understanding as mine.

Thank you everyone. I feel really silly for writing this post but as I can't call the dentist at this time and don't feel I can talk about it with my husband, so I felt the need to get my thoughts out somewhere!

*stayathomegardener" - I had forgotten about disclosing tablets, I remember using them when I had braces. Thanks for the reminder - I'll hunt them down tomorrow.

Dinosaur - thanks so much for this and well done for going. That's great you have an understanding dentist, and I hope I can find the same. I have moved in the last few years so am currently googling local ones. Another motivator for sorting this sooner rather than later is that my baby is under a year old so some treatment may be free of charge. This obviously isn't the main reason for going, but it helps.

I am guilty of this. I actually honestly really need to change my dental habits too. I only clean my teeth once a day. I have been told to use interdental brushes. I haven't been. I need to get my act together. Over the past year I have been having a crown fitted after half a tooth literally crumbled away. I had to have it done twice - the first one fell out after I didn't use the mouth guard that reduces the impact of my grinding. It has been time consuming and painful. Each trip is a family trip because of having 2 preschoolers who need watching while I go in. I know I need to use the interdental brushes - I had a lecture this week with my checkup. Without them I will have more crowns etc possibly within a year. With them I could be fine for years. I don't even have the fear factor, just the laziness one.

Oh and btw, one thing that always comes up in those "lessons from your 50s to your 40year old self etc" is look after your teeth (alongside pensions etc). They are painful and expensive to sort out, and you only get one adult set. I need to listen to this.

I suspect neither of us are the only ones who have been neglectful.

Corsodyl mouthwash OP. Start tomorrow twice a day after brushing. Its horrible stuff at first, makes your mouth feel semi -anaesthetised but you will get used to it. But use it as much as youd consider brushing, twice a day, every day. And defo grab the thistle and book into dentist. Tell them your anxieties they are brilliant these days with anxious patients and I promise they wont do anything your not comfortable with.

Starface - thank you for your honesty, it's good to not feel so alone in this. My fear is that I've already let it slip too far and the damage is irreversible. But I guess I won't know until I go to the dentist. Oh and laziness is also a big factor here too. Hard to admit that but it's true.

Caroline - I think I have some Corsodyl in the bathroom cabinet, thank you for the reminder.

I'm going to call a dentist this morning

Careful with Corsodyl! It can stain your teeth really badly. There's Corsodyl daily that's more gentle.

What really helps me is Corsodyl toothpaste, it's a bit pricey but things definitely seem to have cleared up. That was until I got pregnant and I am back at square one :( .

If you don't like flossing try dental tape, I found that much easier because floss sometimes got stuck!

I've got bad gums, have done for about 20 years!! Puffy and bright red . Bleed with every brush!

Corsydyl is great, but as others say it does stain. Interdental brushes are good too. I'm going to treat myself to a waterpik machine soon.

Try and get a hygienist appointment too if you can x

While you still have teeth in your mouth you have something worth saving!

Make the appointment now, while you're still exempt from charges. The dentist will have seen it all before, I promise, and a hundred times worse. A good dentist will be sympathetic and non-judgemental. DP is a dentist and loves it when he can really a difference to someone's life through dental treatment - weird as it sounds!

An appointment won't commit you to any specific treatment, and the dentist will give you options depending on what you want the outcome of your treatment to be.

www.waterpik.co.uk
These are very good, i have no gum bleeding since I started using mine

In case you're an Amazon prime customer there's a waterpik machine reduced today from £75 to £40!

Thank you so much everyone for the encouragement and kind words. You have given me the gentle but firm kick up the bum that I needed. I have registered and made an appointment today, for early august.

Mackerel - lovely to hear your DP's perspective. I told the receptionist I am anxious and I also wrote it on the registration form. She said not to worry, that the dentist she has booked me in to see is really nice and will understand. I feel a thousand times better for just making an appointment.

Well done op 👍😁

I second the waterpick! My bottom teeth are quite impacted together to the point I can't get floss down them. I do look after my teeth with brushing and floss my top one but did have some gum disease on the bottom. My dentist cleaned them all and said about a waterpick to do the bottom instead of flossing and it's worked so far! You are still young, don't smoke, eat well fit and healthy. Do it now before it's too late.

You are more scared of the unknown but there is nothing a dentist hasn't seen. And will have seen worse than your teeth. Jus to keep saying to yourself half hour or less in the chair is so much better than a lifetime of being embarrassed about your teeth. And you will regret not doing sooner if you leave it

Ime the waterpik clears out debris that floss doesn't get to, i also have very tight teeth and flossing with tape is very difficult

You realise that you have to brush your gums not just your teeth? I ask this because frankly until quite recently I hadn't appreciated this - I would merrily clean my teeth but ignore my gums. Dental education wasn't what it could be back in the 1970's / 80's when I was growing up!

Its best to get an electric toothbrush - you can be tempted to brush too hard with a manual brush and erode the enamel. I brush teeth and gums, then use a combination of interdental brushes and floss for between the teeth followed up with mouth wash. I have gum disease - but it has improved since I started a more thorough regime and I don't get bleeding any more. If caught early enough it is reversible, if caught late with enough effort you can achieve steady state and minimise the chance of further tooth loss.

I too didn't go to the dentist for many years - I probably had quite a crusty mouth with a build up of calculus when I did go but the dentist was professional and didn't make me feel bad. I now see my dentist twice per year and my hygienist every 3 months.

PLEASE keep your appointment in August. Gum disease is quite serious and can lead to bone loss eventually. Well done for scheduling the appointment - now make sure you get there

I've been told to use electric toothbrush 2 mind plus waterpik in morning but spend 10 mind at night with electric brush then electric brush in the gaps with small head brush end then interdental brushes then I finish with water pollution with mouthwash in. Pain in the arse but I hope it works.

Let's be honest. No one likes the dentist.

However. My advice the sooner the better!

The key is to find someone you are comfortable with. If you go to NHS choices you should be able to research and find someone suitable.

A good dentist will not make you feel bad, encourage you and increase your confidence and do what is right for you.

Good luck

Lost please don't be afraid, I used to have a great dentist and worked through early dental phobias with him, then due to a combination of moving, really awful treatment (which reignited my phobia), back to back pregnancies and life-long smoking, I let my teeth and gums get into a dreadful state.

I was in a complete panic about it to the extent I couldn't sleep at night as I knew I had dental problems and envisaged myself as a toothless old crone in my 40s.

However, I girded my loins, and as we'd moved closer again, went to see my old dentist (still an hour's journey, but close enough).

And it's not been bad, I have periodontal disease but it's under control after a few hour-long visits with the hygenist and studious use of interdental brushes at home.

And my teeth problems are in no way as bad as I had feverdly imagined, a coupe of root-canals (no pain at all, bizarrely quite relaxing), and a couple of old fillings needed replacing, all teeth still quite firmly in place!

When I think back to the anxiety it was causing me, I can't believe I just didn't go and sort it all out sooner.

Modern dentistry is truly amazing and pain-free, I can't tell you how much I would encourage you to find a good dentist and just GO.

If you let me know where you are I'm sure my current dentist can recommend someone, he's clinical director of BUPA North so knows where to find a good practitioner for nervous patients.

Good luck!