Prolapse- terrified, please calm me down

[Clawdeen]

I'm early 40s and pretty sure I have developed a prolapse. The pain/discomfort is overwhelming. Usually I'm really active - walk 6/7 miles a day, lots of yoga etc but it's now all too much. I can vaguely get relief by lying down but even then I'm aware of it/ have some discomfort.

I am completely struggling mentally and think it's tipped me into huge anxiety/depression- can't sleep, crying etc. I know I need to get a grip for the children at least.

I'm a lone parent to 2 small-ish DC with very little support. I am totally panicking about loss of independence- from what I've read, I won't be able to ever lift over 6kg again, and the impact of surgery and long recovery time and limited success rates.

Along with the pain, I seem to have developed incontinence issues. Have been doing OLD but feel that I can't do that now. Have a FWB that I've been seeing a while and I've really enjoyed having a sex life again after being single for so long. I feel that's out the window too due to the pain and incontinence. I feel too embarrassed to tell him about the prolapse.

I'm certain the prolapse has arisen because I recently hired a personal trainer and he really put me through my paces with heavy lifting and squatting so much so I developed other injuries. So I feel even more depressed that I've brought all this on myself.

I feel like I've gone from a strong, independent woman overnight to a sobbing invalid that won't be able to care properly for my kids. I feel I've let them down and wrecked my body.

Is anyone awake to talk me down? Any advice on pain management?

Have pm'd you OP

Try not to panic... I know, easier said than done. I had a prolapse (well multiple.. rectocele, cystocele and mild uterine) after baby no 4. Like you, it dominated my every moment ..it was so uncomfortable and so depressing.
GP referred me, and as I had completed y family I had a hysterectomy at 35...done abdominally so a big op. First 10 days were very sore but after that I recovered quickly (I had 4 kids aged 5-10) and was back at work after 6 weeks. I still have a mild rectocele and bowel problems but no incontinence. I don't run any more but otherwise I am fine..and 100x better than I was!
See your GP :)

Thanks gaggiagirl. Do you feel better/differently now?

I think I feel resigned to it now. I've lost a few stones and I've definitely noticed an improvement...but it's still there. Throbbing.

Not what you want to hear but I did seek medical help. The HCP wouldn't even check it and told me that as long as my DH could still penetrate me then I was 'probably OK'. So I've never been back, never taken it any further. I've given up really.

Please don't do what I've done!

@gaggiagirl go to the doctor. You don't have to put up with it. I was told it was normal after babies, but that doesn't mean it can't be helped. You have to tell them how much it impacts you! Things like whether it feels uncomfortable, if it impacts how you empty bladder and bowels, you feel self conscious etc.

Get it sorted! I delayed mine a couple of years as I couldn't manage the children and dog after the op. I used a ring, which helped a bit.

Everyone is different though. They only realise I had a slight bladder prolapse after the rectocele was repaired, which is irritating, as they could have been done at the same time.

Thank you @picklemepopcorn I'll get up the nerve to go to the GP one day.

Just got back from the GP. She was completely lacking any bedside manner. She said it was very difficult for GPs to diagnose prolapses and there wasn't really any point in her examining me. I asked her to anyway as I'm so anxious. She said she had the wrong tools. She said she couldn't think what else it could be though giving me these symptoms and she said she couldn't give me anything for the pain. I was so upset by this point as the pain is really getting me down. She's refered me to a gynaecologist but it was only when I came out I remembered I should have asked for a women's health physio referral. So I'll have to call back. I've just tried to make an appt for a physio privately but first available slot is mid June. I'll try some others.

I'm sorry claw. The gynae will refer you for Physio if you don't manage it yourself first. In this area you self refer for Physio and also for continence issues. It's worth trying for both if you can.

Thank you pickle me. I really need this pain to go away. I think I just scared the pharmacist by my appearance and rambling on about my painful vagina. I just want it numbed! He suggested canesten but it's not itchy so not sure that would work. I've found a private physio that can see me tomorrow evening thank goodness so hopefully she can give me some advice.

You need a ring. It's a bit grim mind. Think rubber donut, up your wotsit. Worth it, though! Sit back with your legs up as much as you can- you need to counteract gravity, get it to fall back in, IYSWIM.

When I was pregnant with a very big baby, I felt like my insides were falling out by the end of the day. Lie down, legs up, whenever you can.

Good idea re legs up. Will do that when kids in bed. Frankly at the moment I'd let a physio stick anything up my worst if it took away this pain! Does the physio fit the ring? Can you have sex with a ring in?

I think you can have sex with it in. Sad to say, I can't remember...

The gynae fitted mine.

Thanks- sorry, seem obsessed with sex. Just I'm single and panicking I'll never get a date again due to the prolapse!

Physio diagnosed bladder and uterine prolapse 🙁 but couldn't fit a ring. Gynae waiting times are months in this area. Keep being told prolapse isn't an urgent condition but the pain is sending me over the edge. Not sleeping and crying lots. GP gave me a private gynae referral but she's not available until 8 June. Really wanted a ring fitted to get me through half term. Any gynae recommendations in London?

Sorry, can't help with that.

I hope you get something sorted. Is it the discomfort which is upsetting you, or the idea of the prolapse?

And as far as sex is concerned, I don't think I'd want adventurous exploring sex, as I'd feel self conscious partner might find it, but you can pop it out first and put it back in later. Like a cap but the other way around!

Clawdeen, I have sent you a PM

Pickle- it's the pain that's driving me mad- it's like a constant nerve pain like toothache over my whole perineal area. The relentlessness of it is making me exhausted which makes me weepy and then I get (more than) slightly unhinged and start spiralling about the whole idea of a prolapse and life as I know it being over ( I know, I know!!). Keep being told that prolapse shouldn't be painful. I have a fairly high pain threshold normally so I don't know quite why this is feeling so bad.

I went for a gentle swim yesterday and being weightless was great- took the pain away and calmed me down. All good until I ran into the personal trainer at the pool which made me more emotional. I want a refund for the remaining sessions but he seems convinced I will be returning once I've calmed down.

And thanks for answering questions on my sex angst!

Drama queen- thank you.

I wonder if you have strong pelvic floor muscles which exaggerates your awareness of 'stuff in the wrong place'? I suppose you are just going to have to give yourself an easy time until it is sorted- lots of feet up stuff, and swimming. I think you need to write to the PT to express how serious your injury is, and that you believe he contributed to it with inappropriate excercises, and that you want at least a refund for the sessions you can't use. Tell him you will only be doing exercises recommended by the Physio.

I think it might be worth returning to the GP and explaining how distressed you are, that it is interfering with daily life, that you need pain killers/to be seen more quickly, etc. Are you managing work? Do you need reduced hours?

Remembered there is this great website here: An Australian Phyiso called Michelle Kenway who gives lots of advice about prolapse.
www.pelvicexercises.com.au/pelvic-prolapse/
There are questions from people in the Comments sections below the various sections too, where she answers people's queries individually.

Thank you Sadie and pickle.

I've got a GP appointment this morning so am going to plead for help. Something seems wrong to be in this much pain. Luckily some friends have taken the DCs for play dates this week so I have been able to rest up but this isn't a long term solution. Fortunately I'm freelance and work from home mostly and had factored in not working over half term so that's been ok.

I have a friend coming over tonight who is a formidable lawyer. Am going to get her to draft me a letter to the PT. I really don't want another woman suffering like this.

Thanks for the link Sadie- I'm going to check that out.

I have just seen this - you poor thing.
I think you have had the info about the support group on fb
its here
www.facebook.com/groups/184143085606/
there are things that can help - do not let the Dr fob you off. I was diagnosed by my Dr ( mines a uterine prolapse) but am a lot older , but had a heavy lifting job for years. You need to be examined standing up - its utter nonsense that they need anything other than knowledge.
Michelle Kenway - is great with good youtube tutorials on how to do them properly
I actually use a pessary ( thats a support ring) and it works brilliantly for me , - the doctor fitted it, and keeps them in stock at the surgery. It may help in the sort term

There is an absolutely wonderful online program called RYC - restore your core. It's very no nonsense, sensible and sort of yoga/Pilates style stuff. No woo, no ridiculous claims - works well for prolapse and Diastasis and is very injury/spd friendly. They make no grand claims but have a look - obviously look at medical treatments too but there are a lot of women on there who have had significant improvement to prolapsed.

It's a paid program but if you join the fB group you will get various excercise sets free so you can see if you like it or not.

You also need a full workup with a gyno- good luck to you!

Well my GP was not helpful or sympathetic and basically said my pain/discomfort was psychosomatic!

Went to see a gynae privately - she diagnosed grade 2 cystocele and grade 1 rectocele but said womb was fine (phew although physio had told me womb was prolapsed and back wall was fine!).

Unfortunately she wouldn't fit a pessary as she said my perineum was too short so that meant I would feel it and it would be uncomfortable. So I've got to rely on physio exercises and some vaginal oestrogen cream to help the discomfort and then she'll review surgery options in 6 months.

Feeling a bit deflated as had pinned my hopes on the pessary and I'm not sure I can last 6 more days feeling like this let alone 6 months. Guess I have to have faith this cream might make things more comfortable at least.

Must join Facebook ( probably the only person who is not on it!)