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Original poster

DESPERATE TO QUIT FAGS

42 replies

fionagib · 05/07/2004 23:35

Help! We go on holiday tomorrow night. Until a fortnight ago I was all set for a healthy holiday - I'd given up smoking for six months and started running - but I crumbled at a party recently, smokes a few fags, have had the odd one since and now the cravings are back again big style... it's awful, like giving up all over again - all that good work wasted!

Why is it so bloody difficult and how to quit for good? I was so proud and now I'm so rubbish!

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beetroot · 05/07/2004 23:37

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CookieMonster · 06/07/2004 00:01

dh (also desperate to quit) is currently reading the Allen Carr book (as quoted by beety) and reckons it's brilliant. He says he's not going to try and stop till he's finished the book so I can't report any success yet but I live in hope ... good luck with whatever you try!

codswallop · 06/07/2004 00:04

But you live int eh outer hebrides?

surely no one smoked there?
really
tsk
*( aiming to sound like someones mum)

WideWebWitch · 06/07/2004 00:07

Definitely, buy The easy way to stop smoking by Allen Carr. As my sister said to me, 'just think, if you really do give up for good you'll never have to read that pile of crap again' It really is an awful book in a lot of ways but it's fantastic self hypnosis IMO. I was an awful, very, very addicted at least 40 a day smoker and it helped me stop both times. I haven't smoked now for 15 months and don't ever intend to again. Twink is an expert, she may be along in a minute. I hated myself for going back to it but now realise I must never ever ever smoke a cigarette again. He really does understand the smoker's mind.

carla · 06/07/2004 00:11

Don't know about that WWW - spent an hour in some grotty bit of London 'bout 10 years ago ... still smokin .........

WideWebWitch · 06/07/2004 00:16

Carla, I think the trick is, you have to want to give up for the book/course/tape to work, I think that's half the battle, it didn't work for you. FionaGib, my other top tip is don't go to parties (joking) - I'm not so smug an ex smoker that I don't realise how easy it would be to fall back into an ashtray.

Original poster
fionagib · 06/07/2004 00:18

You're right, I should read that Allan Carr book - did read it years back - also WWW I think you're right in that I must never smoke another cig in my life. One feels quite nice, then it's the slippery slope every damn time. Frustrates the hell out of me - my weakness of spirit. Big prob is that dh has just crumbled and started again but I can't blame him for my own crapness. Surely some people manage to live with smokers and not smoke? He is willing to smoke outside.

Any little hints that help when the awful craving strikes? Thanks you so much for all this so far...

Mainly I know I have to stop cos I am a major big big smoker and will get ill from it one day, so have to quit completely.

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Original poster
fionagib · 06/07/2004 00:25

Lanarkshire coddy and everyone smokes around here!

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marthamoo · 06/07/2004 00:28

I used the 24 hour patches - gave up for a year, then started again socially. Then I found out I was pregnant - felt dreadful as I had had two drunken binge smoking sessions before I knew, gave up, and haven't had one since (8 years ago). Getting pregnant not an option? Does seem slightly OTT, I have to admit.

Dh has given up about a million (OK, slight exaggeration, half a million) times since I was pg with ds1. He is doing really well at the moment (getting on for 3 months) and swears by Nicotinell lozenges. He says they taste foul and make his mouth sore - but they stop the cravings

None of that was a lot of use, was it? I think the key is never give up giving up - keep trying. And try and hold in your head just how bloody hard it is to stop, so that when you are tempted to have just one...don't!

Failing that I dunno. Wear boxing gloves so you can't light a fag at all?

marthamoo · 06/07/2004 00:29

Re: surely some people manage to live with smokers and don't smoke? I did, but God it was hard.

StickyNote · 06/07/2004 00:30

Another thumbs up for the Allen Carr book, although it took me a few attempts. If there's even a teeny hint of being deprived, you won't succeed IME.

pepsi · 06/07/2004 00:30

I gave up smoking 5 years ago when I got pregnant but I do have the odd one when out with friends, Ive somehow managed to only smoke then and never have a craving at home. When we moved to this house it was newly decorated so we didnt want to ruin the walls with nicotine......so perhaps paint your living room white!

Another way is to put all the dead ends in a jam jar with a bit of water and after a few days it smells disgusting. Whenever you fancy a puff take the lid off and have a sniff. When I was offered a fag the other day I thought about the recent advert on telly with all that gunky stuff dripping from the ciggie....it did do the trick. I know smoking is bad but could you smoke on the holiday and then really really give up on your return....perhaps with accupuncture or being hypnotised. If you really want to give up you will but you have to be ready or else you will fail. I was lucky really, I gave up when we starting trying for a baby and I fell first month so from then on there was no choice and it was easy, then I breast fed for 13 months so didnt want to smoke then and after that I didnt want one. A few months later I was pregnant again, which also meant no booze and so temptation was less. Good lucy and happy hols.

Original poster
fionagib · 06/07/2004 00:31

actually that is v helpful marthamoo - keeping in your head how hard it is to stop and not having even one...

Have not had any today - have slammed a door tho!

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StickyNote · 06/07/2004 00:34

Agree with Marthamoo - I never ever want to give up smoking ever again!!!

WideWebWitch · 06/07/2004 00:36

Btw, I only gave up 15 months ago because I was pregnant and I found it REALLY hard, despite knowing I was pregnant and despite wanting to stop - I was crying with the frustration of it. I do understand. I know I can't just have one, I'm 40 a bloody day or nothing and thankfully, it's nothing atm. I know I'm never getting pregnant again so I'll never have that great incentive again so I doubly know I mustn't start again. God, Lanarkshire must be hard, how ever do Parisians manage to give up? It must be torture. My dad died of lung cancer (60 a day man) and I was there when he died and I still didn't give up for another 2 years, until I was pregnant. How scary a drug is that?

Original poster
fionagib · 06/07/2004 00:37

thanks for that - pepsi I like the thing you said about the dripping oozing ciggie in the ads...

What's frustrating is that I did feel miles better not smoking, skins and eyes and stuff looked better (tho put on some weight) - tried to go for a run the other day after smokey sesh the night before and was wheezy and feeling sick and hated every minute (usually I quite enjoy a run) so am aware that am wrecking myself.

Even typing this and reading all your helpful stuff is putting me off a fag (I know dh has some in the car). You should charge for it - become as wealthy as allan carr! (ever seen pics of his fancy house in spain? I do despise him tho, so smug - wanna punch him).

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Original poster
fionagib · 06/07/2004 00:39

I've cried about it too, in the past WWW - bonkers isn't it. Could never be like pepsi with her occasional fags on nights out - maybe you have to recognise that in yourself.

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WideWebWitch · 06/07/2004 00:43

He is indeed smackable. Saw an interview with him (Lynne Barber? def a smoking journo anyway) and she thought he was smug git. BUT he's alive and he wouldn't be if he'd have carried on - he was a 100 a day smoker. Don't do it FionaGib, nah!

pepsi · 06/07/2004 00:57

Good idea, but if I made loads of cash out of quitting smoking books I would become a lady of leisure, do lunch, get drunk and start smoking myself. Then I would have my picture taken as a stumbled out of some bar with a fag in my hand and my empire would crumble. It would be nice to dream about it though.

Going out and getting stupidly drunk and chain smoking might even give you the kick start to give up as you would feel so bloody awful for the next few days!

Twink · 06/07/2004 01:18

, yep, www was right, I always pop up on these threads eventually..

Fionagib, you are NOT rubbish, nicotine is a fearful drug for those of us who are affected by it.

Sure, there are people who genuinely believe they are social smokers, IME most end up being as hooked as us, rarely have I met anyone who could have the 'odd' one year in year out.

WWW is spot on, the only way to beat it is to accept that you can NEVER 'just have one', been there got the T-shirt so many times, here's a link to threads I've bored for England on in the past: Smoking

I've become an exercise bore now, but you say you enjoy going for a run; could you set yourself a target of a running a particular distance, or better still entering a race to distract you and focus on the 'healthy' stuff ? Even now I still spend less on running kit than I did on fags !

Good luck, it really is worth it, but you know that

Original poster
fionagib · 06/07/2004 01:30

Pepsi you make me larf Your empire would crumble!It was a lynne barber piece I think. And A Carr's house was v luxurious but completely naff.

Twink thanks for that - I did a 10k race a few weeks back, have done two, absolutely loved them am aiming for half marathon at end of aug in glasgow and if I start puffing again I'll wreck my chances of even doing it let alone finishing it - smoking really affects my fitness that much. So really it's a case of, cumble & smoke, and just forget the running (which I am quite proud of as an not athletic type at all). Or be fag free and do the race and maybe try london marathon one day.

Weirdly I actually find that the odd glass if wine does help - makes me less tense - wine is the new fags! - but getting bladdered is out at the mo. Someone suggested getting preg! I would chop off my own head if I got preg!

Funnily enough talking here has made craving go away.

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Original poster
fionagib · 06/07/2004 01:40

Twink thanks for that link, all that stuff is v v helpful (did northener manage not to cave in, do you know? Hope so!) So so nice to known am not alone. Am starting to feel more positive and am gonna try not to smoke during 2 weeks in france cos will soon scoot right up to 30 a day (pretty much all smoked in evening) and come back feeling like cack and so mad at myself.

What am I gonna do without mumsnet!!

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Branster · 06/07/2004 02:05

I won't even read what the others have posted here in case I change my mind about what I want to say.
FFS just don't do it. What's so bloody difficult about it? Don't buy any cigarettes, throw away any lighters/matches/ashtrays and get on with it! Put 4 quid in a draw every day and see how much money you have there after a week and spend them on something nice.
What's the point in starting again? You've done so well. 6 months! Be proud of this achievement and don't start again. You don't need any books, hypnotherapy, patches, special gum. It's all rubish. If you've stopped for 6 months, you can do it on your own. And you're not rubish. Stop f...ing about and don't think about the boody cigarettes anymore.
It is meant to sound harsh, I won't apologise for that (I am not in any way insulting you, I just want you to get over it for good and think in such a situation a kick up the back side it's needed sometimes). I am not speaking from a high horse, i started smoking when I was 14. I did enjoy it very much, only stopped when got pregnant, couldn't do it whilst breastfeeding, it's over 3 years now and hope not to start again but i know it might be tempting again one day. Thruth be known, I have not noticed and visible improvement on my person but i still know i'm doing the right thing.

Original poster
fionagib · 06/07/2004 02:29

Yeah, you're quite right branster thank you. The hardest thing is that dh has started smoking again but I have to get over that somehow and not use it as an excuse. The really annoying thing is I'd stopped even missing fags till I went to that party & got drunk!

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Original poster
fionagib · 06/07/2004 12:53

Feel so much better about ciggies today. Dh had one outside at 8.30 am and I did think yuk. Two things really stick in my mind from what you've all said - that giving up is so awful that you don't really want to go through it again ever, and the tough 'just don't bloody do it' approach -I think maybe we fag-lovers can rev it up in our own heads to a wonderous lovely thing.

Sorry not sure who said this but (I think it's part of the allen carr logic) - how come it's so wonderful when we can't do it, and vile when we can?

We're off to france tonight and am gonna really try not to crack. Am taking your wise words with me.

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