Ive got my appointment in a couple of hours

[kizzie]

Hi everyone - its me again.
Ive got my appointment with the psych in a couple of hours.
Im so scared. All Ive done all day is look up the side effects of various tricyclics and found stories of people who never recover from depression.

How stupid is that!!!!
Just couldnt stop myself.

Im terrified about what hes going to say. Also although hes a nice guy English isnt his first language and it makes 'conversations' difficult - if that makes sense.

Ive made a list of questions and things I want to say.

Its about 4 days till my period due so am going to ask if I can wait till that over before I start anything so that at least can tell what is PMT and what isnt.

Anyway sorry so long. ghengis - if you see this hope this week has got better.
Kizziex

Good luck Kizzie. I'm sure it'll go just fine. The anticipation of these things is usually much worse than the reality! Especially when you terrify yourself by looking up all these bad things!!! Now stop it!

Thanks Toothache - Ive seen loads of messages from you on various threads so hope that means you're feeling a lot better. You must only have a few days left at work now?
Are you going to go on the AD's or just wait and see?

Hiya Kizzie - hope your appointment was OK. It's always loads better than you think its going to be! Let us know how you got on.

xxxLaura

how did you get on this afternoon Kizzie?

Hi everyone - unfortunately it didnt go very well yesterday.

The psych said that after 8 weeks it couldnt be withdrawal anymore (which is what I was expecting him to say).

he said that i was obsessive about it and that I need to use the CBT etc to get better. He really rushed the appt and didnt ask me at all about how I'd been.

DH didnt help really because he just said that he couldn't understand how Id 'let' myself get so low.

In the end the psych got up to leave and just said - 'you need to stop using the valium'.

I just asked him what he suggested I did instead and he said I just needed to stop thinking about it. then he said 'well what do you think is wrong with you'.

I then told him just how bad things had been over the last couple of weeks and how desperate Id been and he did at least write it down.

In the end he just said 'look Ive got to go' - and wrote a prescription for 10mg clomipramine (anafranil) and said if I got desperate I could start that.

He didnt tell me anything at all about the medication.

He said Ill probably get another appointment through in about a months time.

I later found out that although you normally start clompiramine on a small dose (about 25mg. You then build it up over a few weeks to a min of about 75mg.) Apparently 10mg is a non therapeutic dose.

SO now I just feel totally abandoned. I was so frightened about taking medication but Id accepted that that is what i might need to do but now feel so confused.

My Gp has already told me that there isnt anymore she can do to help because Ive been referred to a psychiatrist.

Sorry this is so long.
Kizziex

kizzie - am in middle of feeding ds - will post more later - but your psych is right to start you on 10g anafranil - that is the starting dose - www.nelmh.org/page_view.asp?c=20&did=2716&fc=005175005020

ps - you should take it at bedtime

Thankyou! - that link is really really helpful.

The strange thing about the 10mg is that apparently you start on that but then after a few days increase slowly? But he's given me a months prescription for 10mg tablets.

Kizziex

Kizzie,

ring his secretary and ask her to check it with him, as "I know he was rushing to another appointment, and just wanted to check this was correct".

Or go to your GP with the same question, see if he/she will make the enquiry for you.

Kizzie - sorry you feel so abandoned

Kizzie - sorry you had such an awful experience. I guess I have just been lucky - my first psych was so nice, going through the pros and cons of meds in detail, just taking time to discuss things with me, and make sure that I agreed with what he was recommending. He also said to call his seccy if I felt I needed an urgent appointment. The way you have been treated by the psych is pretty poor - you deserve better treatment, particularly given your bad experiences with SSRIS. Could you get your GP to refer you to a different psych - in my area I seem to see a different one every time anyway!
It is just unbelievable that the psych was telling you you were obsessive and/should stop thinking about it - that shows he has zero idea about the nature of mental illness. Given your history with meds, he should have stopped to talk about the effects of the anafranil with you. Is his idea that you don't go back on meds but have CBT to deal with anxiety/depression. If so, when would that start? Are you still taking the Valium? As a complete non-professional, I think it is best to take tranx for a few days at a time - did he give you any advice on withdrawal. the more I think about it, the more I reckon you do need to see someone before your next appt, even if it is just your GP to talk about withdrawing from Valium and possible side effects of meds.

Hi thanks for the notes.

Ive already started CBT but although I think it can be really useful - feeling this low it just seem enough to touch it. Almost like I need to improve a bit first just to be able to make use of the techniques.

Maybe I need to try and see a diff psych. He is the assigned one for my area so is the only NHS option. Has anyone seen one privately in Surrey?
Kizziex