Help-I feel like I'm loosing my grip on things.

[Mirage]

I am really upset & think I am loosing it mentally.Today is DH's birthday & I wrapped his presents,wrote his cards ect last week,all ready for today.Yesterday I went shopping especially for some steak for dinner & a birthday cake.

However,this morning,I totally forgot all about it & was still in bed when he went to work.I rang him to apologise,& he seems ok about it,but I feel terrible & scared that I am heading for a breakdown or something.

I haven't been sleeping well for weeks & have loads of things on my mind.I have been prescribed anti depressants for anxiety & depression (have a history of this).When I woke up this morning,there were at least 20 things whirling round my head that I had to get done or do today & despite DH asking if we had any napkins (for cake),I still didn't click-I was too busy trying to sort out how I was going to get everything done.

I rang my mum,who was upset for us both,but said that it is just one of those things that motherhood does to you-that she'd done it in the past too.She says that I am taking on too much at the minute & that mentally,after I had organised all dh's birthday stuff,my mind had sort of 'filed it' as done & went on to the next thing.I feel bad about crying on her shoulder as she has enough to deal with as my gran is dying of a brain tumour & isn't expected to last the week.Plus my uncle who my mum is responsible for,is in a care home which may be closing down,so we may have to find a new place for him.

I feel such a mess at the minute

Mirage - Please stop being so hard on yourself!! My DH's sister and brother forgot his birthday this year. These things happen. And if you have lots going on at the minute then it's totally understandable. It sounds like you are stressed and have a lot on your plate.... it certainly doesn't sound like you're heading for a nervous breakdown.

I think your Mum is right. Can you remove a few things from your 'list of things to do'?? Just temporarily until you have more time to deal with them. And you need some time for yourself too when you're not thinking of all the things that need done.

Just don't beat yourself up, you are a very busy woman! Sometimes you need to take a break and let everything go for a few days. I'm sure your DH isn't too upset.

Sorry to hear about your Gran and Uncle. That is stressful enough.

I'm sure someone will have some brilliant advice for you here on Mumsnet! If nothing else, it's giving you a break just being on here typing.

poor you, Mirage. Don't know anything else about your situ apart from what you have posted above, but it does sound as if you have A LOT to cope with atm. Even if you don't realize it, your Gran and your Uncle's situation uis bound to be affecting you, as well as the usual stresses and strains of bringing up your own family. You and your mum sound like you are being a good support for each other. Keep talking to her,it might help both of you to actually talk about your gran and Uncle in as many words. And of course, keep talking on here too. Get ready for a really special birthday evening. xxx

Thanks Toothache & LHP.

dh & I have had a lovely evening together & I'm feeling a bit calmer now.I've got to see my GP on Friday to see how the anti-d's are working,so will talk to him about what is going on.