Cold turkey

[Timetostop2017]

I'm a regular but using a different name for this as I need it stay anonymous. I have a chronic pain condition which is controlled by codeine and ibuprofen. I have a stressful professional job. I don't smoke, drink or use any other drugs. Over the past months, my codeine usage has crept up until I'm running out of my script far too early, and I've come to realize I'm making myself pyschologically dependent on it. I'm now out, and instead of buying OTC to supplement, I'm stopping. I've tried before and failed. Tapering never works for me, so cold turkey it is. This is my first day. I understand I may suffer diarrhea and body pains, so I've got some Diar-stop and plain paracetamol. This isn't going to be easy, so I've set this thread up to keep myself accountable. I'm working away from family and friends and will be until July. I'm lonely, which is part of it, and its far too easy to justify to myself when I'm accountable to anyone. So I'm making myself accountable to Mumsnet. Will post later and say how I've gotten on.

PS - I'm far too embarrassed to talk to my GP. They're not sympathetic and I feel like an idiot for allowing this to happen.

Okay that flu feeling has hit full force today. Plus diarrhoea. Charming. I need to get an old mattress and two old broken cat trees (like climbing frames) outside for collection tomorrow, and assemble their replacements. Assemblage might have to wait, we'll see.

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. See it as your body getting it out of its system and returning to normal. You're doing it!

Thank you. Still mentally committed, just feel so ill - exactly like flu, really. And of course, I'm only too aware that I could stop feeling like this at any time, by getting some codeine, taking it, and I'd be fine in half an hour.....and all the way back to square one. So I can't. I won't do it.

Just read your thread for the first time. It's inspiring. Look after yourself and keep going. You're doing brilliantly.

Thank you. But well, I'm the one who got myself into this mess! The NHS management of chronic pain is poor - 'well, we can get you an appointment at a clinic in several months, here are some pills that will take away your pain and lift your mood (but are highly addictive and not particularly well regulated)'. But its not the doctor's fault. I've read actually that codeine addiction is a significant problem in the UK, especially amongst women, which is interesting. But I'm still embarrassed. I've dragged the stuff outside and had some paracetamol so feeling a bit better, going to go lie down for a bit and read. I hope the worst will be over tomorrow - I have to be in work for at least a few hours.

There have been plenty of threads here over the years started by people with codeine addiction, from prescribed or otc drugs. You've acknowledged it and you're sorting it. Be proud, not embarrassed.

I'll be proud of myself when I've done it, I think. Its a lesson in humility for sure. We're not as in control of all the parts of our brains as we like to believe.

It is very easy to get codeine-type medicine OTC here. No questions asked, really.

I can understand how you'd easily be addicted.

You are doing brilliantly already. Keep pushing, we are reading and cheering from the sidelines.

Same here. It's a tough one. No doubt there are plenty of people who can use it without problems, and it saves a doctor's appointment for the odd occasion they might need it. On a more cynical note, I'm sure the products turn a nice profit for the manufacturers. I think the most dangerous thing is probably the fact you can buy the paracetamol mix so freely, because even a slight overdose of paracetamol can be fatal in some unlucky cases, whereas ibuprofen has a much bigger 'margin of error' as it were, between safe dose and serious injury. I think the paracetamol/codeine products should probably be pulled.

Day 4 kind of done - I have a standing appointment to Skype a friend Sunday evenings, but that doesn't really require effort. She's a good friend and we've known each other a long time. I'm aching like hell but the feeling of having a temperature has lifted, so let's hope that was the hardest day. Going to get in the bath now.

The new cat trees are assembled. The recipients are very pleased with the boxes their new toys came in.

Thank you everyone on this thread for your support x

How are you feeling? Are you over the hump now do you think?

I'm daring to think so. I woke up this morning with a clear brain and energy and ideas. I feel better physically, though I still have some back pain (which is really the status quo for me without opiates, it seems). I have some mental cravings associated with anxiety and wanting to feel calm, but I'm trying to remind myself how temporary and fake the opiate calm is, and all the anxiety addiction itself brings into one's life.

I don't know if listening to some relaxation or mindfulness exercises would help to quieten the anxiety? if you have the time.

Thank you for the suggestion - I do that at night mostly when I'm trying to sleep. I'm working (in the other tab ) and really should be focusing on that but I'm going to try the breathing thing.

Can you please recommend me the exercises?

You mean breathing exercises? I don't have any specific ones. Just breathing in deeply and trying to fill your lungs before breathing out again. That seems to help.

My back pain is getting me down today though. Its not so terribly severe, its just constant, it wears you down (even with paracetamol etc). I probably need to have a conversation with a GP about above-mild pain control that has no opiate element, if such a thing exists.

Yes, don't just try and put up with it. Go and see your gp cos you need a new plan now.

Do heat/cold packs alleviate pain? Or what about a tens machine?

Meditation app called head space is good too.

I can hear the resolve in your posts. Keep on going and maintaining this great start.

Thanks. Cold no, but deep heat is my friend for sure. I definitely think I'm over the hump in terms of breaking my dependency. All I need now is a safe pain management regime!

Presumably you've been through all available approaches to dealing with the pain by non-chemical means?

Pretty much! I do yoga, hot baths, massage chair, all that stuff. I'm going to have a talk with a doctor about options.

In any case, it's day 6, and apart from the hypermobility stuff, I feel fine. Thanks to everyone for keeping me accountable! This really helped. For the sake of preserving anonymity, I'll leave this username now, but again huge thanks to everyone for helping me through this week

You've done it.

You are a bloody legend. Well done you!

Well done you!

With regard to your hyper mobility, I have this this although not at all as bad as you. What had helped is a private chartered physio who has worked on my muscles everywhere Inc. Back, knees, hips so everything is held more firmly it has helped a lot. Plus dry needling when I am in pain somewhere, this is not acupuncture, it is much more direct.

Just to add I found the NHS physio worse than useless, exercises she gave me made me worse!