Health anxiety - having a panic attack

[Wenchelda]

Hi, I have health anxiety so generally avoid the health topic for fear of triggering a panic attack but I find myself in the middle of one right now and could do with someone to talk some sense into me please.

Bit of background - not sure if relevant. I had cbt when my anxiety got really bad a couple of years ago - finally finished 12 months worth of sessions in April last year and have been pretty much in control of it since then, except one episode in sept/oct time.

I recently found out a family friend had a tumour on his pancreas and has had to have surgery to remove part of his stomach before starting chemotherapy. Cancer is my biggest anxiety trigger and something that I previously couldn't even read/see/talk about without setting my heart racing. I thought I was on top of this but since hearing this news about family friend, I am feeling very anxious that I will have the same. For the last week or 2 (so probably started not long after I heard the news) I have had an odd uncomfortable feeling just below my left bottom rib. It's not a pain as such, hard to describe but feels sort of like the area is squashed, yet also feeling "stretched" at the same time. Sometimes feels like my rib could be bruised, other times it feels like it's under my rib rather than the bone itself. I've poked around and there are no lumps or anything I can feel, nor is there anything visibly different from the outside. Of course I am convinced that it is cancer of my liver / pancreas / stomach or whatever else is in that area.

I know this is completely irrational. I have no other symptoms of anything. Logically I know it's only on my mind due to news about friend. I know this. But I just can't believe that there is any simpler explanation than cancer.

I've booked an appointment with my GP for 3 weeks time (this far ahead partly because that was the soonest convenient appointment that could be booked in advance without phoning on the day for an emergency appointment, and partly to give it a chance to go away before I see doctor). I know that anxiety itself can cause actual physical symptoms so there could even be no real reason for it other than me worrying. So I really want to try and stop thinking about it.

But then my mind runs away with the "what if's". I know there are many things it could be that would be far more likely than cancer but the "what if" is always there and that's when my mind goes off and all I can think of is me dying and my children growing up without me.

DH is trying to be supportive but I know doesn't really understand the anxiety. My mum helped me a lot when I was suffering badly last time but I haven't mentioned it to her yet. I feel silly and stupid admitting I feel like this again, when I know how irrational I am being.

Sorry this is so long. I think I needed to get it all out. I'm being stupid, aren't I?

One thing I never do is Google my symptoms. I made that mistake when I had my first HA panic attack and that was what convinced me I had bone cancer. Since then I promised myself I would never ever Google anything and I've stuck to it. If I tell my mum what symptoms I have, she is really good and will often look up more realistic (and less scary!) causes of them, which does help to calm me down a bit and reassure me.

Thankfully I am feeling much calmer than a few days ago, however I do still have this odd feeling in my left rib/stomach so although I am trying not to worry about it, I can't ignore that it is still there. It's constantly at the back of my mind but I am trying to distract myself from thinking about it too much until I can see my gp next week.

Health anxiety is the absolute pits!

Hi op, I can totally relate to what you are going through. I've suffered with HA since I was about 16. I don't know what the trigger was but I'm now 43 and it still rears its ugly head now and again.

Last year I had to have some tests because of blood in my wee and I nearly had a bloody breakdown convincing myself I had kidney or bladder cancer. I ended up on anxiety medication and I'm still on it now, they help a bit.

Cancer is my biggest fear as I've lost a few friends and relatives to it including two last year. I couldn't give a toss about heart disease or strokes or anything else potentially life threatening. I nearly died eight years ago from pre-eclampsia but again, it didn't really scare me at the time even though I knew I was in intensive care with organ failure .

I find distraction helps a lot and I often give myself a good talking to but at times it is crippling. It's also something I've kept to myself all my life until last year when I told my mum and husband who were very supportive. I feel better for telling them although I'm sure my DH thinks I'm barmy .

There's does seem to be a lot of us who suffer from this.

I saw my gp today about my pain / "odd" feeling under my ribs. She had a good poke and prod all around the area and said everything felt exactly how it should do. She asked me lots of questions about if I've had other symptoms including abnormal bowel movements, sudden weight loss, vomiting, stomach acid, heartburn etc. All of which I said no. However I'm starting to wish the dr hadn't asked me about heart burn & excessive gas. I've had a feeling of pressure in my chest all day (which I've had before - months ago - Dr sent me for an ECG at the time which was completely normal so we just put it down to anxiety/stress) i've noticed it other times over last week or so but just put it down to me worrying and feeling tense but now I'm wondering if it's heartburn (not sure that that actually feels like?) plus I'm very aware of how many times I've burped today (7 so far) so maybe that's more than normal? The top centre of my stomach right up between my ribs feels very "heavy" like when you've eaten loads but I've not eaten much at all. I don't want to start really panicking again. Why can't all these aches and pains just go away Plus the odd feeling under my rib is still there. So now I'm worrying incase the dr has missed something. Which I know is typical of health anxiety. Aaaaargh

I had feelings like this at the start of my descent into HA-heartburn,ache under ribs/excessive burping
Which I read was signs of Stomach Cancer-worried and convinced myself-I read its normal to burp up to 20 times a day,I burped 10 times in an hour when I was counting-and over 50 in a day|!
I am still burping now but it is less and Docs do just think its HA plus IBS.
I am not convinced and after my scan this weekend I think I will go back to see the Docs to discuss everything I am worried about.....

I actually feel a bit better now, the all consuming anxiety has suddenly lifted. I think anxiety can cause such myriad physical pains it's very easy to get them confused with potentially serious symptoms.

My gp has referred me for a mammogram for my peace of mind - I think this has all mainly been triggered by 4 friends contracting breast cancer in the past year or so.

I really feel for you all - the worry is horrible. Keeping busy, working, reading, seeing friends and avoiding stress triggers has helped distract me to an extent where it's all receded back to me feeling back under control. I hope you get that peace of mind soon, op.

Wenchelda, seriously, have a rennie tablet. See if it gets rid of the feeling.