Just need a bit of support

[Autumnleaves105]

I'm just feeling really low at the moment and just need to let off some steam I suppose! Not sure if this is the right area to do so..?

Anyway, I'm 31. I have gastroparesis- a rare condition where the stomach muscles are paralysed. I can eat and drink etc but my body takes longer to digest and often causes nausea, bloating, pain, acid reflux and sickness. It is very unpredictable and can be set off by any food/drink.
I also had my thyroid removed 4 years ago due to it being covered in nodules and swollen to the size of a grapefruit.
I have suffered from depression/anxiety since the age of 9 and have self harmed in the past. I am on anti depressants and have had counselling on and off over the years.
I have high blood pressure which I am on medication on brought on by my complicated pregnancy in 2015 that hasn't seemed to resolve itself.
I had my son at 27 weeks in sept 2015 due to severe pre eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. He was born via emergency c section as my liver and kidneys started to fail. I was in hospital for 10 days, he was in hospital for 10 weeks. Born weighing 1lb 10ozs. He is now almost 18 months and is an amazing, beautiful boy.
I was diagnosed with psoriasis in my early 20s and suffered quite badly from it. June last year I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis.
In conclusion, I'm on lots of medication, many with side effects. I'm constantly exhausted as it feels like my body is constantly in battle with itself. I am in a lot of pain and generally feeling shit!
I am actually a happy person who just suck it up and gets on with things- you have to! But occasionally I get my down days. More so at the moment because I have a cold, s chest infection and have been feeling/being sick today.
I'm generally not one to wallow and I don't mean it to sound like I am. I just need to express my frustration at the moment as I often feel like a burden to family and friends!
Sorry for loooong post!!

Can I have my post removed please. It's humiliating not having any responses. Thanks.

It all sounds awful. I'm sorry you're going through this. And I'm not sure why you haven't had more replies of support!

gosh it sounds like you have so much to deal with.

having a cold is exhausting enough but it must sort if tip the balance when trying to cope with chronic illness.

i don't have any advice but just wanted to offer my support. xx

What a lot to have to deal with.
I'm glad you have your little boy- I bet he thinks you're wonderful (you are).
I don't think people are purposely ignoring you, some topics don't have the traffic and if other threads are very busy, new posts can get knocked off active before anyone sees them.
Wallow and moan away, it's a lot to deal with and it's ok to have a bit of a moan in a safe and supportive environment.

:( It sounds awful. I suspect the lack of responses was because people didn't quite know where to start - you have such a lot going on. Down days are completely understandable and my advice would be to just give in to them - accept they will happen and go with the flow. Do you have plenty of support? Make sure you use it.

Thank you so much for your replies. I really appreciate your comments of support.
I have a great support network, my husband and family especially are very supportive and understanding. I think i find it difficult to reach out at times as I feel like there's always something and I don't want to be one of those people where there's always something wrong IYSWIM. My friends are generally good too but all have their own lives-of course. I got burnt a few months ago when asking for help and 2 of my closest friends ignored my desperate plea then one told me that basically I was a bad friend and was pretty nasty. We're ok now but it took a long time to get over it.
I don't often ask for help because I've always been independent and believe that I should just get on with things and also because I would hate to be a burden to people.
I don't sleep very well as my mind is always racing but I'm trying different methods to try and get some sleep.
I really do appreciate you responding. Thank you xxx