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My Mum has had a bad accident

27 replies

prettybird · 26/02/2007 14:53

I was on holiday the week before last and on the way back got a message from my brother that my Mum had had a bad accident one week into a cycling holiday in India.

She's fallen ooff her bike at speed and from the description of the injuries, did a face plant into rocks and has pelvic and head injuries.

It took 5 hours to get a hospital, which must have been very scary (Dad is himslef a retired doctor - radiologist - so must have been besdie himself). They were on an orgnaised cycling tour, and apparently one of the other people was an army docotr, who helped during the journey.

She was stabilised in a very good hopstial and then after 4 days was flown to Delhi, where she is in a state of the art hospital. SHe has only just, 10 days later, left the ICU/ITU and is in a room on her own (where my dad can sleep too, on a pull-out sofa bed).

I feel very helpless so far away. Dad haaid all the medics have been very positve - saying that althoguh she will have problems with memory loss and personality change, they should resolve within 6 months or so. The expressive dysphasia that she was usuffering from (the inability to find the correct word) has as predicted started to resolve.

Dad's not worried about the pelvis - although she has multiple fractures, that will heal. She was initally in traction, but then they found another fracture in the sacral wing, which has meant she has had to be extranlly pinned. In the long run that will be easier, but at the moment, she is trying to pull at them, as she doesn't know not to.

I've read out my Dad's e-mails to my best friend, who is a GP, and she has been very reassuring - saying that the injuries are all at the front (front pelvis, front head) and that the description o f the head injuries are essentially just bruising.

But it is still very scary. She is apparently still very confused and gets agitated if she doesn't know what's happening. Dad is so far away with no-one to give him a big hug.

They would have been due back yesterday. Dad is now hoping to be back within 2 weeks, which is better than he had thought at first. He deosn't know how she can travel on a "public" plane though, as she would be so agitated that she would disturb everyone unless she was sedated - but doesn't know if that is a good idea given the head injuries.

Having had a great skiing holiday, this really brough me down with a bump (no pun intended). I didn't even have my dh to give me a hug, as he had had to go on to Bordeaux for a course, but he got back yesterday .

Work have been great - I was OK for the first couple of days and then cracked on Wednesday and was a mess, and everyone was really nice.

Don't know why I'm posting all this - except I just wanted to get down somehwhere how worried I was, We're in for a long tough summer, giving my mum support.

She's 66 and loves her cycling. However, this is her 4th bad fall in the last c.12 years (every time in exotic location abroad, never in the UK) and I hope it doens't put her off getting back on her bike, as that is what Dad and she have done to keep themsleves young.

OP posts:
DebitheScot · 26/02/2007 14:57

Sounds like it's not just your dad who needs a hug. You need one too. Hope dh gave you a huge one when he got back.

Take it there's no way you could fly out there? How crap that it's happened so far away.

Hope writing it all down on here has helped at least a bit.

lilibet · 26/02/2007 14:57

oh you poor love

it's fantastic that your parents still do things like this at their age but perhpas when she is recovered you may gently suggest that they confine their cycling to thsi country and leave times abroad for lazing on a beach?

Really hope that she is herself again soon.

hunkerdave · 26/02/2007 14:59

Oh, sweetheart

Hulababy · 26/02/2007 15:02

So sorry I hope your mum continues to improve and can come home as soon as possible.

prettybird · 26/02/2007 15:09

I have suggested to my Dad that I could fly out to Delhi 9work have said if I need time off I can have it) but dad has said not to.

The point will be made that she has never had an accident in the UK! But the cycling has been the way that they explore the worls (and sp[end our inheritence! ) She broke her elbow nearly 18 motnhs ago in Urugay - and they went back last November to "finish" the trip (even though Dad's bike was delaed 2 days and Mum's bike never arrived, so she had to buy a new one, which they then "sold" back to the very helpful local travel agent).

They'll all been "sod's law" accidents, which could just as easily have happened here.

Dh did give me a big hug when he got back (... eventually - his flight was delayed, so he had to spend the night in a hotel in Gatwick).

OP posts:
myturn · 26/02/2007 15:22

Sorry to hear about your mum Prettybird. Your mum sounds like a right character! She'll be really grateful for your support. Here's hoping she gets home to you soon.

nogoes · 26/02/2007 15:32

I hope she gets better soon.

prettybird · 26/02/2007 15:35

I think it has brought home a sense of mortality - my parents have always been "young", and I hope to be as active as them at their age (and having had ds as an older parent, dh and I will need to be!).

It's just brought home to me that one day she will be gone. And I am scared shitless that "she" won't be there any more even now - even though Dad has been reassured that the personality changes shold resolve in c.6 months.

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 26/02/2007 15:35

gosh..it sounds a nasty accident

i hope she is on the mend

she must be a very sassy woman

I am not half as impressive now and i have a little bit to go before i reach her age

dolally · 26/02/2007 15:36

If they are going to be there another couple of weeks or more, I think they might be very pleased to see you, (no matter what your dad says about not necessary)

how feasible is it for you to go out there, financially (would insurance cough up?) workwise? kidswise?

prettybird · 26/02/2007 15:55

Finacially it isn't an issue - that's what our savings are for, eventualities like this. And work would be OK about it, and dh would be able to look after ds. It's no longer life threatening, so I doubt that insurance would cough up. I'd also need to organise a visa - but I am sure if I needed one, I'd be able to get one relatively quickly.

But if Dad doesn't want me to go out, then somehow I don't feel I can (even though I realise that it's not just for him - it's alos for me).

Mum didn't want to to talk to me this morning when I rang Dad (I hadn't been expecting to anyway) - I think she is still pretty confused (and apparently irritable - another expected symptom). Dad says he can't have a conversation with her - although he can read out a political article to her, and she'll be albe to make a comment about that (probably along the lines of "Blair [or Bush/delete as apporpriate] is an a*@se" ). He probably doens't want me to see her as she is at the moment - altouhgh once she is back in the UK, I'll have to deal with it anyway.

OP posts:
bizzi · 26/02/2007 16:31

This is awful you poor girl. I was thinking the same Prettybird, he's probably protecting you. But as you say, you might need to go for yourself and him, although he may not want to admit to himself that he needs support from a daughter. I would go.
Did you watch 'recovery' last night? Bad timing but I thought it was done well.

prettybird · 26/02/2007 16:41

I did watch it - dh wasn't sure I should (and the thought had crossed my own mind), but I'm glad I did.

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ja9 · 26/02/2007 21:11

oh prettybird. so sorry to read this. thinking of you...

prettybird · 27/02/2007 09:47

Good news is that she has now been cleared by the neurologists for flying, so Dad thinks that she will be back at the end of next week (by the time everything gets organised).

I've now got to contact her GP practice to arrange a hospital to hospital admission, and find out which hospital they will admit her to (ie which of her injuries will have greater medical needs: the neurological ones or the orthopaedic ones).

OP posts:
prettybird · 27/02/2007 11:34

I'm going to start a thread specifically asking for help - but does anyone know how I go about organising her admission to a specific hospital, as her GP's practice has been very unhelpful?

OP posts:
fairyjay · 27/02/2007 11:44

Prettybird
My initial thought was that your dad probably didn't want to disrupt your routine, but would probably be grateful for some support in India. However, it now seems likely that you'll be occupied getting things sorted over here.
Could you speak to the insurers, and see if they have any advice on how to handle transfers of this sort?
Would your GP friend be able to make any suggestions?
The only thing I would say is be prepared to nag everyone to distraction, because it's probably the only way to get it sorted.
I hope that your mum recovers soon, and that you all start to feel better and more in control.

Twiga · 27/02/2007 15:18

Prettybird, read your post with lump in my throat, so sorry to hear about your mum. Will be thinking of you, hope she's home soon.

prettybird · 01/03/2007 09:30

Good news: it looks like my Mum will be back next Tuesday. She'll be taking up six seats, plus travelling with a doctro and two nurses (plus my dad of course). They'll be flying into Manchester and then getting an amubulance to Glasgow from there - it would have delayed them a further week to get a flight direct to Glasgow. My Dad will have to fly up to Glasgow from Manchester as there won't be enough room in the ambulance for him.

It just goes to show the value of having travel insurance!

OP posts:
Twiga · 01/03/2007 09:46

Great news prettybird! How are you holding up?

prettybird · 01/03/2007 09:50

Not wonderful - forgetting/not doing lots of simple things. Dh is being very supportive.

The worst thing is that on Tuesday I'll be in Aberdeen with the car and won't be back until early evening, so can't help out. However, my broher will be able to pick up Dad from the airport (he would have had to anyway 'cos of the luggage - he has a people carrier) and dh can get a taxi to the hopstial to help arrange things there if requiered.

OP posts:
Twiga · 01/03/2007 12:23

That's understandable. If you need anything while you're in Aberdeen Tuesday, feel free to CAT me, can always meet you for coffee if you need a break from whatever you're coming up for (we moved back three weeks ago). Hope Tuesday passes quickly for you so you can get home and see them.

prettybird · 01/03/2007 12:38

Thanks Twiga. Don't think I'' have time though - I'll be driving up to BoD, meeting a colleague, then driving up to Banff, meeting some potential customers, showing them what we have there, driving back to BoD, going to see another customer, before picking up a couple of the first set of customers and driving them back to Glasgow, before another meeting with them the following morning........

Glad to hear you are back in Aberdeen. Does it feel good to be home?

OP posts:
Twiga · 01/03/2007 17:55

It is nice to be home, really appreciate how comfy our house is compared with Hospital acc! Your day sounds hectic - if you're able to grab lunch I'd recommend the Mains of Scotstown, it's just off whitestripes ave in BoD, do everything from main meals to panninis, baked tatties.

Aimsmum · 01/03/2007 18:02

Message withdrawn

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