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Original poster

Pancreatic cancer: can anyone help?

41 replies

JoyceDivision · 27/01/2017 17:49

Can anyone give me guidance or advice re this?

Following a blood test, my father was diagnosed with a low level prostate cancer. Due to other symptons (pain going to the toilet and consequently not wanting to eat, stomach pains and cramps) he had a colonoscopy (sp?) And has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

He has had a body scan but not yet got the results.

The specialist he spoke to told him the cancer is in the fatty layer around the lower intestine (I think) so they can't operate but he will soon begin chemotherapy after a further biopsy.

Looking on cruk site, from this info this looks like a T2 or t3 cancer? Which seems to imply it's a case of chemo being used to prevent cancer spreading but not treating it? Also implies a 12 month ave life span after diagnosis?

I'm not sure what is right / likely to happen / what's correct.

I appreciate every case is different and there isn't a lot of info here but if anyone can shed a bit more light in things I'd be grateful... even if it soundslike not a good outcome please let me know if you have any info

OP posts:

Blossomdeary · 10/02/2017 22:41

No it is not fair at all. But good that your father has accepted the situation with grace. He is probably wanting to help you all to deal with this. He sounds like a great Dad - you have some precious time with him ahead, and will have lovely memories when his time comes. Take heart from this.

Original poster

JoyceDivision · 10/02/2017 22:43

thank you everyone... I really appreciate just being able to sound off a bit and ther are lovely strangers that are there

Ithink part o it is the dignity in which he is dealing with it that upsets me even more.. fucking fuckety fuck

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frazzled3ds · 13/02/2017 07:42

Just seen this, and Joyce I wanted to send you more -
My DF was given very similar news on the same day as yours (which also happened to be his birthday..... he is a bit older than your DF)

Thinking of you, and sending you a big hug - the future looks pretty uncertain I'm sure, and undoubtedly some hard times ahead. Please do message anytime you want to - replies may be a bit slow this week as I'm taking my DM north for her DM's funeral.....

I hope that you've got some good support available to you in RL - be it friends, a nursing team, local hospice advice line or similar. Thinking of you.

Original poster

JoyceDivision · 16/02/2017 21:43

Hi Frazzled, I'm so sorry your dad has had bad news... is there any chance for recovery or treatment to delay the spread of the cancer and give him a good amount of time?

My friends are being fab bless them, and our parish priest who used to be a nurse is fab too, bless him.

My dad has spoken with the macmillan nurse, is trying to get in lots of small breaks while he can, but planning to get rid of his car, mentioned a few thoughts about his funeral and started breaking the news to family and friends.

Hope you and your mum are ok, and especially your dad. Take care of yourself and do keep in touch xx

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frazzled3ds · 16/02/2017 21:53

Hi Joyce

He's due to see the consultant soon, but has already been told that chemo won't cure, it may extend life, but we don't yet know how long for - he's 86, and taking the view that he's already been through some pretty tough times, and given the side effects that can go with it may not go for it - all to be discussed once he's seen the consultant. He's not yet told anyone other than me, my Mum and younger brother - he has 4 other children from a previous marriage who are yet to be told I believe. My parents are regularly visited by their retired parish priest and he will undoubtedly offer all the support he and his wife can once they know (they've been stopping in with the paper etc whilst I was away with Mum at her Mum's funeral this week)

No timescale been given yet that I know of, but like you, I will do all I can to make whatever time is left full of good stuff for us all - dreading telling the boys too, youngest in particular is very fond of his Grandpa.

Please also keep in touch - you are in my thoughts, and love to you and your family xx

GallivantingWildebeest · 16/02/2017 21:59

Your dad sounds lovely. Huge hugs to you all.

My Fil had pancreatic cancer so we have some experience of it - it's a bastard.

Is there no chance of an operation?

Very best wishes for the future. Keep posting on here.

MrsNuckyThompson · 16/02/2017 22:07

I'm no expert but what I do know is that pancreatic cancer has usually spread by the time it is detected. Which makes it a total bastard.

Ask the doctors for more info. My MIL lasted 3 months from diagnosis.

I'm so sorry this is happening to your family.

Greydiddi · 17/02/2017 20:42

Hi frazzled and joyce

I just wanted to add my voice to say how sorry I am. My Dad died of pancreatic cancer last year, 5 months after diagnosis aged 65. I know just how difficult it is to deal with the news, it's such a shock and tends to be advanced by the time it is caught. I found it was like you can't catch up with yourself as it seems to happen so fast.

My dad was very determined and did quite well for a few months, but as with a pp when the end came it was very quick. So if you can ( am sure you are) it's good to make the most of the early weeks after diagnosis.

Much love to both of you. It's such a horrible disease.

Original poster

JoyceDivision · 17/02/2017 21:07

Greydiddi, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, my condolences to you and your family.

It's an absolute bastard and it's not fair.

But I must say how much I bloody love you all on mumsnet, my friends are fab but there's such a wealth of support and experience, it really really does help xx

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Greydiddi · 17/02/2017 22:10

Thanks Joyce.

I don't know if you are aware but there is a thread on life limiting illnesses for people with parents with a terminal illness. I found it such a helpful place to post when I was finding things difficult or just wanted to rant/say things that I felt I couldn't to people in RL.

Wishing you strength

Original poster

JoyceDivision · 20/02/2017 20:02

Thanks Greydiddi, I've posted on there xx

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Musicaltheatremum · 20/02/2017 20:51

My business partner has this. Diagnosed 2 weeks ago after a very short illness (we are GPs so know what to look out for). It's such a tragedy.

iremembericod · 20/02/2017 20:57

Having had my 67 year old father go through this, I'd say appreciate every day. He had the whipple and even that didn't beat this vicious disease.

Much love and please get as much time with him as possible. It's a cruel disease xx

Juveniledelinquent · 22/02/2017 18:21

I'm so sorry to read this. My aunty had the same cancer. She had chemo, as they kept saying if they could shrink the tumour they could operate. Sadly, from that point on she was very poorly and died four months later.

In the same shoes I would not opt for chemo but I would try and live the life I'd got left with family around me.

I'm so very sorry about your dad OP [flowers[.

Juveniledelinquent · 22/02/2017 18:21

Original poster

JoyceDivision · 23/02/2017 07:56

thanks everyone, district nurse came yesterday first time, talked about when deteriorates, using a bed at home, friends were visiting, work being done that my dad wants so things will be easier for my mum.

It's surreal, feel like we're watching something on tv

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