I'm scared- can't tell if it's real

[PeppaAteMySoul]

I sufffer from health anxiety and I have a 6 week old baby and a history of postnatal depression. Let's just say my mental health isn't great or even good at the minute.

Today I have found a hard, fixed lump in my armpit. It's about 1cm and feels round and smooth. I am freaking out! A quick google seems to tell me it's likely to be a swollen lymph node and is characteristic of cancer that has spread.

How likely is this really though? Is it just my anxiety speaking? I will book a doctors appointment in the morning. Does it warrant an emergency appointment? Part of me wants to ignore the whole thing and put it down to the fibrocystic breast tissue I know I have. But that wouldn't cause a lump in my arm would it?

We are going home earlier than planned- first thing in the morning. I haven't been able to sleep or eat much and I feel tearful a lot of the time.
I feel like I "know" this hard lump is something bad. I accept that feeling is the anxiety speaking but it's terrifying all the same. I am going to call my GP at 9 when they open and beg for an appointment- am also planning to discuss my anxiety with them (again).
Feeding the baby now googling hard lumps in breast. I know blocked milk ducts have been mentioned as a possible cause on here, but, from what I am reading they change size on feeding- this stays a constant lump even when not engorged.
I'm so upset with myself. I wish I could stop myself racing ahead and imagining the worse case scenario but I can't. I'm practically planning my own funeral which is pathetic and stupid.

Step away from google and see the GP, i have had the Lymph nodes in my neck removed for biopsy as they were enlarged and felt hard. I worried myself sick googling stuff. They had blown up probably due to an infection and got stuck like that. They were removed in the day surgery unit of the hospital.

I would advise stepping away from google too, I had almost exactly the same thing a year ago but in my neck rather than armpit and my baby was 6 weeks old.

I see you asked Ispy earlier if their lump was hard and immovable, the swollen gland in my neck was completely hard and immovable (like chips above) and felt like a marble. I've never been so scared, all I could find was that neck lumps were fine as long as they were soft and movable.

Basically my lump (according to everything I googled) had every characteristic of lymphoma and my GP, whilst not mentioning cancer, seemed to take it very seriously too and had me booked in for blood tests the next day and I was referred for a scan.

Thankfully, in the end, it did turn out to just be a hugely swollen gland that stayed inflamed for a few weeks before going completely down again.
I can't tell you not to worry because you will but hopefully you'll find some comfort in hearing good stories

Thank you. I still haven't managed to get myself to GP. To get a same day appointment you have to call at 9am by 9:05 they are all gone. I drop my son off at nursery at 9am. I do have an appointment in 10 days time. Hoping to stay calm until then. I keep telling myself it's an unusual cyst.

I had a hard lump under my breast bone years ago. Went to gp and he said it was a gland. But sent me to a specialist anyway but it was gone by then. It took around 3 weeks to disappear.
Hope this helps on some way. I have really bad health anxiety also. So I know how hard it must be to cope right now. But you have a small child whose still breastfeeding and the stress all these could add to why this gland has come up. Just bodies way of coping.

Maybe a long shot but are you able to book appointments online at all? I registered with my GP surgery for online access and discovered they release the same day appointments at midnight, so they're bookable online from midnight.
One more thing, you're not being pathetic at all. I was also planning my own funeral and weeping about my children growing up without me

Have you got access to a walk in centre, I have 3 next to me, I only knew about one of them till last week and one was really close by. All you need is a referal off the doc to have it checked. My lump was years ago, i didn't have a scan, was just examined and booked in for a biopsy at the day surgery centre, maybe Richards was more recent so they can now check them on a scan instead of having the biopsy. You will worry until you have it checked so the sooner you do it the better. was the opposite with my, convinced myself i had lymphoma and put off going as i didn't want to know so instead just worried about it then decided i had to get it seen to. Mine was the same a very hard lump which didn't move.

No online system I've just checked and no walk in centre either. If I got a private GP appointment would they refer me to NHS consultant or not? Considering using my Christmas money on getting a private GP appointment if so.

Im not too sure, the best thing to do is to call the surgery and explain the situation, you are worried about it which is making you anxious, you need the lump checked, can't wait 10 days and are finding it difficult to get a same day appointment, can you please see a doc before then if there is a cancellation or you will sit and wait at the end of one of the surgeries if you can if a doctor could squeeze you in then.

Chips me calling and begging the surgery is what led them to give me the appointment in 10 days time and some advice about calling dead on 9. My DP tried to get through for me today at 9 phone and they were engaged. By the time he spoke to someone appointments had filled up.
I keep telling myself its nothing. Just have to find a way of believing it until it's checked out

I know how you feel my surgery was like that until recently, call at 9, you try and get through for 30 mins and its constantly engaged then when you get through they have nothing left. Since doing the patient access online system and extending opening hours it has been much easier to get appointments. I would say wait the 10 day's and get it checked but i also know you will worry about it and constantly feel it, in the mean time if you can try and get through to the docs for a same day, it's a ridiculous system and just pot luck you manage to get through, try not to worry about what you read on google either, i was the same and links about cancer kept coming up like what Richard say's.

You could try ringing 111 and see what they say, if they realise it's urgent there might be some way of them getting you access to a GP quicker.

I really feel for you Peppa, all I can say is your situation is pretty identical, my baby was only 6 weeks and I had my (exhausting) older child to look after too.
Although I didn't have PND per se, I'd lost a parent just before so in reality was depressed. Looking back I can see I'd got so incredibly run down and sleep deprived that my immune system went crazy.
I know I can't say for certain, but it just seems such an identical situation I'm sure it's your immune system going crazy too.
Like chips says, just keep trying every day to get an appointment and also ask about online access for the future

Yes mine happened after a MC a DC then a late MC one after the other so i was very run down, not sleeping or eating properly so feeling very low and tired, they said sometimes the nodes just blow up and get stuck like that.