Stress prior to operation

[wickedfairy]

Hi,

I am due to have very serious surgery soon and I thought I was ok,but maybe I am not.

I am so shouty with the children, my house is in disarray (decorating but we just had to sack him as he was crap). Am now left with a half finished house that we need to get together before Christmas and I'm tired. Very tired.

DH won't really talk about it, my friends think I am coping marvellously with the news of operation and I haven't really told anyone at work, apart from my bosses. I don't want anyone to know until I have a date because people would treat me differently and I am in the middle of a few projects that have me involved with very senior management and it will be good for my career (to get stuff finished, then go off for my op).

Just a ramble of a thread really, not sure of the point. Drinking some wine and trying not to cry too much, as I've been a bastard to the kids all day, while painting.....

That sounds like a huge amount of stress with zero support .

I'm really not good at knowing what to say ,I have had major surgery with a few months waiting for it and while it's different for everyone ,it really does mess with your head . I fell into the angry with everyone camp as opposed to the collapse in a heap camp [if there is one ].

Major work projects + children+ house re decs +Christmas ! No wonder you're drinking wine !

Can you at least not worry too much about the painting ? Could you possibly leave it at least until after Christmas ? Can you get someone else to do it ?

The children will be fine ,they are resilient and forgiving .If it makes you feel better ,apologise .Though I've come to believe that a little exposure to grumpyness and reality is actually no bad thing for offspring .

Have you thought of a quick trip to GP - beta blockers or a short term ad might help ?

Oh and of course maybe talk to DH ,write him a note - tell him how stressed you are ?

Thinking of you and sending strength .

Hi Wickedfairy,

Without wanting to ask personal questions, is there a particular part which your worry is most concerned with? The anaesthetic, outcome, recovery etc? Sometimes it helps to figure out exactly which part scares you the most and then you can focus on ways to manage that fear.

I had intermediate surgery 2.5 weeks ago and also posted here for support. I was so stressed (petrified) I was constantly crying, arguing with my partner and couldn't sleep or eat. I was convinced I wouldn't be able to cope, would have a horrible experience or would even die.

What I can say though (and I actually said this to someone yesterday), is that whilst my fear was 100%, the actual reality of the situation was more like 15%!! I asked for a pre-med when I arrived which relaxed me so much, I just very naturally fell asleep (wasn't horrible at all) and, you know the funny thing? I actually quite ENJOYED being looked after! First by the hospital and then by my partner who had no choice but to do things for me!
I was actually sad to go back to work this week!

It's funny how we get ourselves so wound up (I actually have diagnosed panic disorder) but the reality is often quite different.

Good luck, keep positive and it will all be over before you know it. Xx

Oh wickedfairy - I see you're due to have open heart surgery . Major surgery indeed .And anything to do with the heart is even more daunting .

I wish I knew what to say .My major surgery was a resection of oesphageous and stomach - a small help to me was accepting I had no choice .But the experience was less scary than I imagined ( partly relief to get on with iot ) and the care excellent ( as it tends to be with complicated and high tech surgery ).

And it was good for the power balance in my family - I'm way too bossy and controlling .

There is nothing to worry. Try out some medications.

Thanks all for your supportive words and apologies for taking so long to reply! We have decided to leave what's left of the decorating until later, apart from a couple of touch ups. Got the decorations out, so will put them up and try to chill.

I think the main thing really is I am worried that they won't be able to restart my heart. There is uncertainty about whether the repair will work and if the surgeon is not happy with it, he will replace, in the same op. So at least it will be one op but if it's replaced I will be in blood thinners for life, which is not ideal. But the main thing, is that after all the work, it won't restart.... whenever it is that I meet my surgeon, I will tell him this.. I had a bad day when I posted.

Thanks again for all your advice x

Ginger - I have also accepted that I don't have a choice with this. Just worried about the heart restart.

Ok most of the time, just some days I go a bit mental. Thanks x

OP, aside for the considerable stress you are having ATM, it's completely natural for you to feel anxious and apprehensive about your forthcoming operation. It would be odd if you were not - I work with pre and post operative patients and I think that in general anxiety about surgery seems to get worse as people get older.

Is it some time since you last had any surgery? Reassure yourself that this is normal and that your concern about your condition is the start of the recovery process in a sense because you are preparing yourself for what it to come. Chat with friends and watch some funny or stupid DVDs in the meantime.

Hi Sweet, I have never had surgery, so it is all new to me! I am nervous, but it's only natural, I guess!!

When you get admitted, or beforehand if you have any hospital appointments between now and then, tell the health professionals that you have never had surgery. They will give you an idea of the processes that happen, and reassure you that everyone finds it strange or disconcerting. They will also give you written information on your procedure and try to explain any aspects to you that you have not understood (which is also normal, since it is thought we forget about 40% of the conversation we might have had during a consultation!

Also remember that there is no 'typical' patient. We are all individuals and we can have different responses to something, so don't worry in the first instance if your symptoms or reactions fall outside of what seems to be the norm.

Fantastic advice from sweetstem . If it's of any interest when you wake up it's as if no time has passed .One minute you're lying there and something is going into the canula on your hand and then your name is being called .

But ,very naturally ,it's getting to the waking up part that is on your mind so that's probably not of interest to you .

Thinking of you and wishing I had better words . +