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Original poster

is a 4 year old sucking a dummy bad for them?

14 replies

LizaAndJimmysKids · 17/02/2007 19:18

my DD does and i can't get her to stop.she knows she shouldn't be using it and tends to hide behind the sofa when she comes in from school and sucks her dummy. she also has a dummy for bed and can't sleep without it.

should i be worried? or shall i just let her carry on hoping she will grow out of it soon?

she does get embarrassed about it and tells us not to tell anyone, especially her teacher.

OP posts:

marthamoo · 17/02/2007 19:28

I think that the fact you say that "she knows she shouldn't be using it and hides behind the sofa" and that she's embarrassed about it is a good indicator that she might be open to giving it up.

I would use the time honoured method of bribery (it's what I did with my two - though they were a little younger than your dd) - offer to 'swap' the dummies for something she really wants. Make a big thing out of how she is such a big girl now, she really doesn't need them any more. And really do get rid - cut the teats off and chuck them in the bin (or you'll cave in )

If you know anyone who has just had a baby you could do what I did with ds1 and make a big deal out of giving the dummies as a present to the baby (pre-warn the mother to look delighted at this 'gift' of a load of used dummies for her precious new born).

In my experience - the reality of giving up the dummy is never as bad as the anticipation. Ds1 barely fussed, ds2 whinged a bit for a couple of nights. Just do it - and praise her to the skies about what a big clever girl she is.

BuffysMum · 17/02/2007 19:30

dentist told my dd she had to give it up before she was 5 because of her teeth (that is true btw) so we swapped for a barbie scooter and a drip to legoland 2 months before she was 5!!!! It did take a few days for her to be able to get to sleep without it but she threw one in the bin each night until there were non left!

marthamoo · 17/02/2007 19:31

Oh and as to "is it bad for them?" - I've read that it may affect their teeth/possibly speech - but I think dummies are a lot better than thumb-sucking (that's what I did and my teeth were dreadful - years of braces). Dummies are easier to get rid of than thumbs too

Marina · 17/02/2007 19:32

Or maybe read Jill Murphy's lovely story "The last noo-noo" with her It's a great story about an older small child giving up his dummy!

ledodgy · 17/02/2007 19:35

What about the dummy fairy? You leave the dummies in a bag one night and explain to dd that the dummy fairy will come and take them to give to all the new little babies and to say thank you to her for being such a big girl she will leave a present. When dd wakes up she can check in the bag and there will be a present but the dummies are gone! After you've done this make sure you throw the dummies in the outside bin so you won't be tempted to retrieve them.

brimfull · 17/02/2007 19:36

well my ds sucks his thumb,atleast you can throw away a dummy ,he's 4yrs 5 mos btw

marthamoo · 17/02/2007 19:36

I sucked my thumb til I was 11...

Original poster

LizaAndJimmysKids · 17/02/2007 19:41

thanks everyone. the problem is "me", i am too soft and give in every time. my DH goes mad with me for giving in, but i just want her to be happy and her dummy makes her happy. i will try some things suggested.
thanks everyone.

OP posts:

Lilliput · 17/02/2007 19:44

Tomorrow night is the big night for taking away the dummies from our ds. He has just tuned 2 and I'm sure they are affecting his teeth and speech already. I am dreading it as he is pretty dummy dependant.
Unfortunately he is too young to get the dummy fairy thing or giving them to a baby, so it's cold turkey.

jetsetmum · 17/02/2007 20:07

Lilliput - I found 'losing' the dummy worked for DS1 at 22 months old - we did actually lose it & when he kept asking for it I said we have lost it - if you can find it you can have it. He forgot all about it after a week.

We orchestrated the loss for DS2 at 22 months & it worked just as well.

Like you say they are a bit young for taking the giving up decision themselves so a bit of deception helped as I was never the 'bad' mummy who took it away.

FluffyMummy123 · 17/02/2007 20:08

Message withdrawn

Bozza · 17/02/2007 20:09

My friend was told by the dentist that her DD needed to give up her dummy. Her teeth have developed with a round shape hole in the middle - so they don't actually come together and her speech is obviously affected.

Lilliput · 17/02/2007 20:11

How many sleepless nights did you endure Jetset?

star1976 · 17/02/2007 20:12

Took my dd to dentist when she was 3 1/2 and he asked her straight away if she had a dummy cause he could tell from her teeth.

The dental assistant told dd that she should put it under her pillow for the fairies to take because they them make them into special merry go rounds for baby faries to play on!

Week later dummy was no more (and she was hooked before that, took 3 to bed every night).

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