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Original poster

My lovely dad

18 replies

goingmadinthecountry · 07/12/2016 22:44

Not really sure where to put this but feeling a bit alone tonight. My lovely dad aged 88 is going to have his bladder removed tomorrow - he has a tumour. He's absolutely sure this is the right treatment for him because he's suffering discomfort, and without it his prognosis is bad.

It got to me today when I took him in - he gave me an undated cheque for funeral expenses if needed and he was quite teary after talking to my children - his only grandchildren.

He's the oldest person the consultant will have operated on for this. He's otherwise remarkably fit. I love him to bits (I'm an only child) and just wanted to tell someone.

I'm going in to work tomorrow. Does that seem sensible? I don't know. Can leave at short notice if I need to. He has a lovely other half (mum died 10 years ago after at least 8 years of being ill with cancer) who is 90.

Not the most mature response but have a large glass of red wine in front of me right now.

OP posts:

firsttimemum15 · 07/12/2016 22:50

Hope it goes ok.

He sounds lovely and feels he has made the right decision for him. Any operation is scary.

Scrumptiousbears · 07/12/2016 22:54

Good luck to your dad. Bless him.

NoSuchThing · 07/12/2016 22:55

Not much practical to add, but just wanted to wish you and your dad all the best. Can you call in to the hospital early on tomorrow to help your dad make sure he's ready for the op? Always nice to see a friendly face before heading down to surgery?

Original poster

goingmadinthecountry · 07/12/2016 22:56

Thank you. He is lovely.

OP posts:

Purpleprickles · 07/12/2016 22:56

Good luck for your Dad. If you can leave work if you need to being busy might be best to get through the day. I think I'd work too.

Ankleswingers · 07/12/2016 22:59

Massive unmumsnetty hugs to you op. Both you and your Darling Dad sound lovely.

Hope all goes well with the operation

Mrsmorton · 07/12/2016 23:01

Error404usernamenotfound · 07/12/2016 23:01

Best wishes for you and your dad tomorrow, OP. I think you're right to go into work as long as you feel able to - sitting at home or in a waiting room for hours won't help him or you. I do second the pp who suggested going to see him in the morning though if you can.

Enjoy your wine - it's what I'd be doing in your situation

IAmALionTamer · 07/12/2016 23:01

Will be thinking of you and your Dad tomorrow. You both sound completely lovely X

BitOutOfPractice · 07/12/2016 23:14

I am sending all good wishes to your dad for tomorrow. And to you as well of course.

Original poster

goingmadinthecountry · 07/12/2016 23:16

Can't get in to see him before work but will obviously phone him. His wife is French - family all over there - and I so feel for her too. Much as I loved my mum, it has been an utter blessing for them to have had this past 10 years together. She's so lovely and they are so good for each other.

Hospital admin has been beyond appalling and chaotic but the staff on his ward are lovely. He's been there a few times recently and so many of them remembered him by name when I took him in today and came over to shake his hand. One day I may very well make a fuss about the way he's been treated by the system, but the staff can't be faulted. His consultant has also been fantastic, calling him personally at home to keep him up to date on more than one occasion.

OP posts:

gingeroots · 08/12/2016 07:28

Thinking of you ,your dad and your step mum this morning .

Trust the surgeons ,they know what they're doing and wouldn't operate if they felt your dad wasn't up to it .

Look after yourself ,keep hydrated .Sounds silly ,but easy to neglect yourself and little things like that are most needed at stressful times .

So +

SVJAA · 08/12/2016 07:34

Thinking of you and your dad this morning OP. My mum had this op (with other removals too) earlier this year and I was terrified. Fwiw she was considered very frail by the docs and was just about written off but has recovered better than any of us expected. I hope the same happens for your dad, he sounds lovely.

Fortunatepiggy · 08/12/2016 07:39

Hope it goes well for your dad op,Your post made me well up because I am an only child too and very close to my parents and terrified of them becoming ill.

I hope you have a lovely family to support you and your dad

Sending lots of hugs

Original poster

goingmadinthecountry · 08/12/2016 17:28

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts - the operation went without any complications and took about 3 1/2 hours. Dad is in ICU for a couple more hours of obs then back on the ward. Obviously I know there's a long way to go but so far so good.

SVJJA, so pleased your mum is doing well

Fortunatepiggy, it is indeed hard being an only child sometimes. I have 4 children - think that is something of a reaction to being by myself!

Now I can think a bit more about Christmas and dd2's 21st party which is less than 2 weeks away.

OP posts:

gingeroots · 08/12/2016 17:43

Oh bless you for update goingmad . Hope recovery is smooth .Keep your strength up .

21st birthday party - no added stress then !

SVJAA · 08/12/2016 17:45

goingmadinthecountry really glad the op went well, and a positive update 😁 How are you doing?
Thank you, she's got a backbone of titanium my mum!

MollyHuaCha · 10/12/2016 22:09

How are things?

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