Ladies of a certain age tests

[HusbandNumber1]

My wife is severely disabled - in a wheelchair - and is in a care home. She has capacity but it's kinda borderline.

Now she's in her 50's there are certain regular tests you ladies go through periodically. I had a long chat with the head nurse at the home today about these kind of things and Smear Tests in particular.

Now on one side there's all the logistics of getting a severely disabled person tested - transport, hoists, positioning etc etc. And the obvious discomfort - not just from the test but from the rigmarole around it. I obviously have no idea how traumatic an experience it is, but I can't imaging it's at all comfortable.

Or do I just not bother?

I don't have anyone to ask about this - the only women I know reasonably well are people I work with and it's not a subject I want to bring up there.

So I thought a nice anonymous post to the font of all and wondrous knowledge that is MumsNet would get me plenty of broad spectrum answers. And some of them might even be helpful.

Would you insist on the tests or would you leave it, leaving someone in peace?

If she has capacity, she will need to make the decision. That's the law. If she is likely to lose capacity (degenerative illness rather than a LD or brain injury), you should look into POA sooner rather than later.

To answer your question, in your wife's position, I'd rather not have a smear test.

It sounds like a tough situation you're in. for you.

I have POA but not for health. It's Court of Protection next - everyone's hedging around the fact she doesn't really have capacity, which is absolutely fine until someone disagrees.

There's no family history of anything dodgy and me and the nurse both hedged around not doing it as well.

I just have no experience of this and could only think of here or the Samaritans (who only really listen, which is all they can do)

Thanks!

I think in your 50s you'd be more talking about a mammogram than a smear test.

And mammograms do hurt (well they do if you're well endowed, not sure about other people).

And they're embarrassing.

I think I'd choose not to have it - but then it depends on how scared you are that she'll get breast (or cervical) cancer.

If I had to choose on behalf of someone in your wife's situation I would be very tempted to spare her from smears and mammograms. They're not dreadfully unpleasant but not just nothing, either.

Is she not able to make this decision herself?

HOnestly speaking as a woman in my 50s why should a severely disabled woman of that age be put through these invasive and humiliating tests?
Read Germaine Greer on 'the Change'.
Men are not required to have things shoved up their jaxy in the name of testing, or to have their testicles painfully squashed are they? no.
the amount of women that these tests 'save' is tiny.
Leave the poor woman to it.

I'm sorry for the situation you're in, it sounds like your wife is lucky to have you.

Perhaps the most helpful way to think about it would be: would you act on any test results? So for example if a smear was abnormal, would your wife/you want to pursue treatment? If not then there is no need to have the tests.

IIRC capacity in health terms means capacity for a specific decision, rather than a stable, global characteristic. So she might be able to decide this, even if she lacks capacity for things like financial decisions?

Thanks folks. It's good to know I'm on the right track.

Yes I was going to quote Germaine Greer too. Dont bother.