Possible dodgy mole- I'm so scared

[Sallystyle]

I have really bad health anxiety and currently having CBT.

I have had a mole for years just above my bum. It's 2.5mm big at the most but it is very dark, it always has been. It is symmetrical can't see the edges too well but apparently they are ok. I have never caught the sun in that area. Not once.

I have had it checked many times throughout the years. GP has always said it was absolutely fine, just dark but still a normal healthy mole colour.

My health anxiety has been a bit bad again. I looked in the mirror at it as I can't see it very clearly and thought it looked horrible and dh told me that it hasn't changed and he does keep an eye on it very regularly.

Me being stupid went and covered it up with foundation yesterday I did it because it actually helps me not to keep looking at it when my CBT goes to pot. This morning after a shower I look at it again and now there is a white bit in the middle. DH says it looks like a thin layer of skin. I am freaking out and can't see a GP until Monday.

I am not sure if I have irritated it because of the makeup or if this time I'm actually right and it is cancer. No bleeding, it sometimes itches when it catches on my underwear but it has done for years and the GP said it was just because it rubs against clothes a lot.

It was nearly three years ago three of my children lost their dad to cancer. I can't stand the thought of them losing me.

I hope your CBT starts to help you soon - do persevere with it. Too many members of my family have given up stating "it's not working" like they expected some kind of a magic cure. People have fantastic results with CBT but you have to take it seriously and do your homework. Good luck with it all .

Thank you.

I have been working really hard. I have improved a lot but the last two days it seems like the anxiety is taking over. I am seeing my therapist tomorrow which will be good for me.

I think it's the time of year as well. It brings back all the memories and this is when I should work harder but sometimes it is so hard to fight it.

could you have it removed privately if it will help you relax?

I have pretty bad health anxiety also and know how it can completely take over your thoughts. Your GP has checked the mole several times, DH says it hasn't changed shape or grown, it's smooth, not bleeding...all good. If it's always this mole causing particular worry and it's catching on your underwear, would GP look at getting it removed? Hope therapy is helping, it gave me "tools" i try to use when I get very anxious. For me too, times of year are triggers.

If (and it is a very big 'if' indeed) this is a malignant change, you will have caught it early, meaning a really excellent chance of cure with simple surgery, because you observe it closely.

I understand your fear entirely - who wouldn't be anxious after what you and your children have been through? It is sensible to look after yourself. Keep on with the CBT.

I might think about paying to get it removed actually after Xmas. I think that would be a good idea.

But it looks like it has changed to me. DH checks it weekly because I ask him to. And it was unchanged until this white bit. It would make sense that it's skin due to putting shit loads of foundation on it and it would be a coincidence that it changed just as I start worrying about it again.

I don't know. It looks awful and cancerous in my eyes.

Thank you for replying.