Short and longer term recovery after prolapse repair

[buzzbobboo]

Hi

I'm having anterior and posterior prolapse repair done in early November. I'm just trying to get childcare in place and generally understand how long I'm going to need help for and wondered if you can give me some advice. I have 3 kids aged 8, 6 and 2.

• When did you start driving again? I've been told 6 weeks or until I feel ready to do an emergency stop
• When were you able to push a buggy again?
• When were you able to lift toddler into cot again? I've been thinking we might need to switch him into bed before my op...
• When were you able to walk the school run again? Mine is only about 1km but uphill on the way back...

Longer term, have you ever been able to go running or lift weights again? I like running, I do kettlebells but I'm fearful I'm going to have to give up both for good.

Thanks!

I had it done 25 years ago.

You need to really do what they say for 6-8 weeks. You can walk but not run or lift anything heavier than a half full kettle. You will have to find ways round that- no picking up pans full of water and pasta to drain it- take a slotted spoon and sieve over to it.

I was told not to lift anything over 14 lbs ( so about 6 kilos.) That includes a child. I was told never to lift anything heavier than that EVER.

The uphill walking will be too much within the first 6 weeks as it's uphill.

I tried running a few years later and it didn't feel good. I saw a physio who said it was a no-no. Any high impact is bad for the pelvic floor, as is some Pilates, and lifting weights.

You need to take care and do your PF exercises once the op is over.
Good luck.

Thank you!

I'm beginning to realise how tricky this is going to be - I'm going to have to find ways round everything! Realistically my 2yo will need lifting occasionally (if he falls, if he's completely refusing to get into buggy) but I'm going to have to go through everything we do and find alternatives (just thinking about tonight I've lifted him out of high chair, carried him upstairs, lifted him into the bath, lifted him onto change may, picked him up to sit on my lap for stories and lifted him into cot)

Can you get help? My DH took 2 weeks off work / worked from home then my mum came to stay for 2 weeks.

DD was just over 2 but she was in a bed and not in a buggy- she walked everywhere because she was walking at 8 months, and I had a 4 yr old as well. She wasn't using a high chair at that age.

In the short time you have can you help make your 2 yr old a bit more independent? I wouldn't be carrying a 2 yr old upstairs- surely they can walk? Also use a little step thing to climb in the bath? And you sit on the floor so they climb on your lap rather than lifting them up?

Yes I've started working on it (we've experimented with step into bath and booster seat he climbs into but last night I did everything as normal just to itemise how much I actually did - it was a shock!)

I'm going to try to re-engineer everything. The cot will go once we're back from our weekend away, booster seat and step into bath or having showers will be permanent. He is fortunately at that age where he wants to be a big boy so is up for doing these things.

It's more me having to get my head round it I think so I can avoid carrying situations - eg get him upstairs before he's so tired he wants a carry etc. Last night was a useful exercise to show me how much I need to think about what I do in future.

I'm irrationally upset at the thought of never carrying any of my children again

DH is around for all school/CM drops and bedtimes for 2 weeks, and WFH 2 days, and my in-laws are doing all pickups and teatimes at least for the first week, then as needed (they live in same village and are very helpful) so I won't be on my own with them for at least a week and have support immediately and on ongoing basis as needed (though DH has no holiday left and his work is usually tricky to do from home and he's out 12 hours, so it's less than ideal). I probably need to warn my inlaws that I'll need help for more like 6 weeks than 2-3 and get DH to schedule in as much WFH as possible.

My mum would come down and stay but my dad is having a knee replacement at the same time so she needs to be with him.

We'll muddle through!

Thanks for your comments. They're really helpful. I hadn't realised the recovery was quite as tricky - doctors were very blasé about the immediate aftermath I think, claiming 2 weeks of rest then careful to 6 then normal life from 12. No mention of the never lifting again etc, no discussion of what exercise I can and can't do after

Your toddler could sleep on a mattress on the floor for a while so wouldn't need lifting into bed.
For changing nappies you can kneel on the floor and have him on the sofa type of thing. If you need to do anything that is crouching down, it's easier to get down on all fours and do it (eg. pick up toys from the floor, getting things out of a cupboard) rather than bend down by doubling yourself over.
It'll be a shock when you come home from Hospital the first day. You may get tearful the first day home, as you feel like a crocky 85yr old lady who has an invisible pregnant stomach and you really notice how restricted your movement is. But take heart, you do recover a lot each day.
I couldn't just bend down and tie my shoe laces for about 3 months. And make sure you have some nice loose stretchy legging or tracksuit bottoms as you will be living in these. Or a couple of loose dresses to go over leggings. Being in your Pyjamas during the day is a good 'signal' to others that you are recovering from something though!
Like I said it's like having a large invisible pregnancy bump.
Lifting weights is an absolute no-no I'd say. Running - you are impacting your pelvic organs by hitting the ground hard every step. Walking and cycling and swimming all fine.
For the first week - try to do absolutely nothing except lie on the sofa and watch TV/tablet etc. You are trying to give your stitches a really good chance to settle in and heal up so make the most of the offers of help.
This operation, hopefully, will improve your quality of life for decades in the future if you mind it well.
I was allowed drive after 2 weeks, but I really tried to minimise it in the first 4 weeks, as you will feel it in your stomach muscles and even trying to turn your head around to look over your shoulder.
It's not a time for pushing yourself, it's a time for resting and letting those stitches settle in and heal without disturbance. And putting as little extra weight on them as you possibly can.
You can boil one cup of water in a small saucepan for a cuppa rather than lift a heavy kettle to the sink. And no hoovering, or pushing or pulling changing sheets etc - just let the housework go for a few weeks.
You can put a lot of stuff out on the countertops to get at during the day instead of reaching for it. Freeze a load of meals now as you won't feel like standing in front of a cooker for an hour at 5pm.
Even after a few weeks, you may feel discomfort again if you are going around the shops for too long etc. And start yearning for your sofa to put the feet up.
Your 2yr old could do without a bath for a week if he had to. It's not going to be forever - you have to remind yourself of that when you get home from hospital. It is a tunnel, and you will get out of it.
You may need an afternoon nap for a couple of weeks if you can manage it. For what seems like a 'small' operation it does knock the stuffing out of you. I had very little pain afterwards, some paracetamol a couple of times a day/at night for about a week.
The cure does seem worse than the disease immediately after the operation, but take heart, there can be a few blips, but does usually all come good in the end.
Also, tell your partner it could be at least 8wks before you can have sex again. The docs might say 6wks is okay but you might not feel like it or you might need another few weeks after that so take the pressure off that as well.
And my advice is, don't get a mirror out and have a look, you really don't need to. It'll be all swollen and horrible. The internal swelling will make you feel like the prolapse is still there, and it comes back on and off afterwards for a few months. So you keep thinking it's back when it isnt'.
Best of luck with it.

Thank you Sadie - this is incredibly helpful! Had a chat with DH today so he knows what to expect. Fortunately he does loads of cooking, tidying, kids stuff anyway and will keep things running without much stress so I know I don't need to worry too much about that.

Just to add, not everyone gets all the things Sadie listed. I didn't have the baggy clothes etc or anything. I also had no pain whatsoever either straight after or any time afterwards.

Most people feel tired after a GA and some people feel weepy and depressed- normal and passes.

You will need to put your feet up in the afternoon and just spend as little time on your feet as you can.

I didn't notice any swelling externally- it was all done inside so nothing to see externally at all.

You may find that weeing is a problem for a few days- I had a catheter for a week due to bruising but was allowed home with it in after about 4 days.

Good luck.

Thank you polly! I'm really hoping for no pain - I'm more terrified about my children seeing me in pain and weepy than pretty much anything else about the recovery - sitting on the sofa I can happily do :)

I'm really feeling awful about never being able to lift DS again. Yesterday I picked him up so we could watch a tractor in a field and I shed a tear as we won't be able to do those sorts of lovely things. As for dealing with a tantrumming 2yo when you are on the school run...

Sigh. I keep reminding myself that my symptoms have got worse and will only get worse if I don't have this surgery and in all other respects its a very good time to be having it.

Thanks for all your posts!

@buzzbobboo how did your op go?