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Original poster

Smear tomorrow and I'm nervous as hell

49 replies

NotMeNo · 19/09/2016 20:10

I've not had a smear for years and years due to severe anxiety about internal examinations.

I've had three babies and even in labour I really struggled to let the midwives examine me. I don't know why, but I just have a really strong mental block and I find it really physically hard to 'allow' people to do that to me. Like, I almost can't open my legs because I'm so embarrassed or something. Then once they're inside me, I have a really strong urge to move away from them. ARGH.

The last smear I had really hurt and I've built it up in my mind that it's this awful thing and I won't be able to do it.

So, anyway, I've plucked up the courage to do it but now I need some tips on how to handle this, short of turning up pissed on brandy...

HELP!

OP posts:

YouBoggleMyMind · 20/09/2016 08:35

Good luck OP xxx

Original poster

NotMeNo · 20/09/2016 09:07

Thank you boggle. My stomach is doing back flips and I want to vom. Have just taken a beta blocker but wishing I had some Valium.

OP posts:

dementedpixie · 20/09/2016 09:18

You can do it . A few minutes and it will be done for another 3 years. I'm still waiting on the results of mine, was told it takes around 4 weeks here just now.

heavenlypink · 20/09/2016 09:28

Ditto NoNotMe

Not helped by the fact that I have a tilted pelvis or something and the last time it took ages to do. Mine is due and I've been once to try and make and appointment without success. I want/need an appointment first thing so I need to try again this week.

sadie9 · 20/09/2016 09:33

Best of luck NotMeNo.

Original poster

NotMeNo · 20/09/2016 09:37

Oh god. Just had a quick cry. I really don't want to do that in front of Nurse Ratchet!

Right...I'm going in

OP posts:

Original poster

NotMeNo · 20/09/2016 09:49

Just waiting. I've decided I'm going to act as if I'm not bothered at all. Then maybe my brain will follow??

OP posts:

Original poster

NotMeNo · 20/09/2016 10:12

Well I did it. But I feel far from triumphant.

I couldn't handle it and she had to get what she could while I squirmed and cried.

I'm so cross with myself.

OP posts:

DubiousCredentials · 20/09/2016 10:17

Well it's over now. You poor thing. Go and have a nice coffee and cake somewhere. Well done for going through with it

Original poster

NotMeNo · 20/09/2016 10:32

I just don't know how to get over this.

OP posts:

Original poster

NotMeNo · 20/09/2016 10:35

I just don't know how to get over this.
I mean, how to stop being scared of something that isn't actually scary.

It was just a feeling, she didn't hurt me, but I didn't like it and couldn't handle it.

WHY??

There's much worse things I could be having done.

OP posts:

YouBoggleMyMind · 20/09/2016 10:53

Well done for doing it. Over for another few years. I know it sounds silly but perhaps hypnotherapy might help? Xx

sadie9 · 20/09/2016 11:43

You did do it.
So from experience you can see that yes, you are afraid, and you do squirm and cry...but she was still able to get the cells she needed to process your test. So you don't necessarily have to stop being afraid first.
You can afraid and still go ahead. Very unpleasant for you to be upset, but you had an important job to do for all the right reasons.
So job done. Yes, you probably are getting the 'feelings hangover' for crying etc. but so what. You did what you could with the resources that were available to you at that point in time. Your mind and body didn't want to do it but you brought them in there and got it done, because staying healthy is important for you and those you love. I would call that success.

3Eggses · 20/09/2016 12:21

No advise. Following one painful and one very painful exam 10 years ago, I don't have smear tests.

Well done for trying do you reckon they can give you valium? Do they do that? If they could anesthetise the lower half of my body it would be feasible.

I can't even do internal things to myself. When I read threads on here about rummaging around for lost tampons and "feeling the strings" on your coil, I feel faint.

Why can't they make the speculum a warm, smooth hollow tube like a dildo rather than that sharp plastic contraption that pings open? They offered to let me insert it myself (as they were in a hurry and annoyed) but I couldn't. Some nurses are complete dicks. If you don't have any compassion you shouldn't be allowed to deal with vaginas.

Some reading suggests that smears aren't that beneficial and often end up in women needing further unnecessary invasive procedures. I don't know how true that is but I'm happy to believe it for the time being.

You can ask to be removed from the list at your GP surgery if you'd rather they left you alone.

3Eggses · 20/09/2016 12:43

*advice shocking spelling and grammar this afternoon...

Wonderflonium · 20/09/2016 16:10

Dude, you did it! Yes, it was an ordeal but you actually did it. I second the advice to see a hypnotherapist, or even a regular therapist. I think you can cure this issue with the right help.

Cherylene · 20/09/2016 16:23

Well done for doing it

Be kind to yourself and treat yourself. You have done well.

I hate the rummaging but have had the things since I was 21. But the plastic speculums are way better than the non-disposable metal ones they used to use.

I hate the dentist. More rummaging and in a vulnerable situation. Unfortunately, I would much rather go for a smear. I have to go to a new dentist on Thursday, so wish me luck!

ToadsforJustice · 20/09/2016 19:20

I'm so sorry OP. The nurse should have stopped as soon as she saw how uncomfortable you were. No excuses - she sounds awful. She had no place calling you at home and berating you. The test is not compulsory. The nurse should offer you informed consent. I imagine she is chasing her smear targets. The GP gets a bonus for every woman that is captured. Please complain in the strongest terms.

Original poster

NotMeNo · 20/09/2016 21:43

thanks for the kind words guys.

I am glad it's done, but I've felt so sad today.

I'm phobic about dentists too and I've recently started tackling that too - and not without tears. Why can't I tolerate this normal stuff???

OP posts:

Cherylene · 21/09/2016 16:49

I hate going to dentists, hairdressers and opticians. I have no idea why I hate going to the hairdresser - she is really nice .

When I got to 50, I was told smears were only every 5 years, but then you get to go for mammograms (which they have brought forward to 47) and I have just discovered that I can have a camera up my bum at 55 so there is no peace at all!

I didn't read about the nurse phoning you It is no wonder you feel bad about it

Does anyone know if you can go anywhere else for your smear like the FPC? Or do you only have to go to your GP?

heavenlypink · 22/09/2016 21:51

Cherylene you USED to be able to go to the FPC for a smear test though whether due to cut backs you still can I don't know? Can I ask what health authority you are in that has introduced the colonoscopy at 55?

Cherylene · 22/09/2016 21:58

It is 'bowel scope screening' rather than colonoscopy - they only go up as far as the sigmoid colon. Personally I would prefer a colonoscopy as all my problems are above the sigmoid colon (constipation related), but they are only concerned with cancer.

It is a rolling programme - should be everywhere soon. www.gov.uk/guidance/bowel-cancer-screening-programme-overview

heavenlypink · 22/09/2016 22:55

Thanks Cherylene I've been advised to start the bowel screening programme early owing to my dad having bowl cancer, detected through screening and successfully treated. Wondering if this will effect me. Ugh I can handle the breast screening, smears I have to psych myself up. Really not looking forward to this one

Cherylene · 23/09/2016 08:45

You can have it any time between 55 and 60, so you can put it off a bit A friend of mine had it done because she had bleeding, and they removed some polyps. They were really quick too. She was really happy about it. I think the screening one will be a one-off.

If you follow the link above and go to cervical screening and look around, you will find that the committee that makes the decisions on screening services has decided to move to primary HPV screening. This may take a while as all the lab system (and staff) needs rearranging, but it will mean longer intervals between screens, which is a good thing .

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