Finally admitted defeat and have been prescribed AD's.

[Toothache]

For anyone that doesn't know my situation I had OND for about 2yrs after DS was born. He's now almost 3 and I'm due my 2nd on August 6th.

I didn't receive any help, medical or otherwise, for my PND. I struggled on ..... actually I existed in the depths of despair for most of that.

I had my 32 wk antenatal yesterday and explained to the Midwife that I was feeling down again, and having a couple of panic attacks/hysterical episodes a week for the past 3 weeks.

I tries to put it down to my crazy pregnancy hormones, but I recognise the feelings as much more extreme than that.

Anyway..... jist of the story is, the midwife did the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression test and I scored 18!!!!!! I couldn't belive it.

She fetched the GP and he had a good chat with me. I felt like such a fraud as I wasn't feeling down or hysterical at all yesterday. But he was brilliant and explained that my feelings were a great warning sign of things to come. He used a wonderful analogy:

It's easier to take a coat out with you just in case it rains than it is to get dry once your wet. I

He prescribed a low dose AD..... the name is something like Tript....... something or other, 50mg. He said it would be me very drowsy so to take one at night and it would help keep me calm through the day.

HOWEVER, I have woken up this morning feeling rrrrrrrreally groggy, shakey and 'out of it'.

Please tell me this goes away. I wanted to feel calmer and happier.... not like a zombie! I've to go back in a fortnight to talk to him again.

Does anyone have any advice re: the effects of these AD's?

I'm glad that there does seem to be alternative AD's out there that I can try. I'm so scared that this is how it's got to be.

Soupy - I know, it was terrible. I felt fine by 8pm and was due to take another at 9.30pm! I just couldn't face it. I didn't feel sick, just dizzy, drunk, spaced and VERY drowsy.

Oh Toothy ... I am so sorry you are feeling so crappy at the moment. I especially understand the 'missing the first year' thing ... I missed DS's first year too for the same reason as you ... and now I watch DD and shake my head in wonder at all the things she does because I missed it all with DS ... Hugs {{{}}}
I have no idea about the side effects of your ADs ... I was on Cipramil for PND after DS and had no side effects at all ... but I don't know if they are suitable for when you are pg ...
I do sympathise with you in terms of your mum ... my mum was the same - I had some great comments like,
"No one told you it was going to be a walk in the park!"
and
"Come on, pull yourself together, we've all done it"
and
"It didn't exist in my day, and I had 4 children!" She had what she calls a 'nervous breakdown' when I was 3 weeks old ... hmmmm ... what's that if it isn't PND I wonder???
I think the classic one was "Don't let anyone tell you that you are ill when you are not ... you will get a record of mental illness on your notes ... think of the stigma attached to that!"
Just rise above it if you can, I know that is easier said than done, but it is the only way I was able to deal with her in this respect. (My mum is usually the most sympathetic person in the world).
Take care hon,

Thanks Ghosty.

I just can't believe this is all happening again. I know I shouldn't, but I kind of pinned my hopes on this 2nd child being a 2nd chance to be a 'normal' Mum, with all the 'normal' floods of overwhelming joy for the moment you see them. I got them at first then all the 'joy' disappeared when he was about a week old!

Toothache - have you had a chance to speak to your GP yet? Please do not despair about not getting joy at the birth of your second born - ADs take up to 4 - 6 weeks to kick in - so even if you don't start till you leave work, you should cross fingers feel loads better by the time you give birth. Don't put pressure on yourself to be 100% better by the time your baby is born - feeling even 50% better improves your quality of life so much - and you will carry on improving - I felt so relieved when I realised that although I was not 100% better by the time ds was born, I was still getting a lot more out of life, and could cope a lot better than I thought I would. Also don't be too hard on yourself - thinking that everyone else had a "normal" experience where you didn't - everyone and every birth is different, and even for "normal" people baby blues will set in say 4 to 7 days after birth, so the overwhelming love feeling is going to be tempered by that anyway even without PND. If you are thinking of changing meds, think about whether or not you want to breastfeed - some ADs are more suitable when breastfeeding than others - I know Prozac is fine for breastfeeding. If you're not going to breastfeed, but don't want to say, I promise I won't ask you this again, so don't feel obliged to answer that!

Mummy2Steven - Thanks for your words of wisdom. Yes I am intending to bf. I spoke to the GP about that at the time and he said they would re-assess it when the time came. But I don't want to spend the next fews weeks weening myself onto this drug, then have to ween myself off it and go through the whole palava again with a new baby in tow. IYSWIM.
I'd rather start now on the one I can continue taking.

Will prozac make me drowsy and spaced at first too?

I think I'll start a thread on this..... hang on a tic.

Toothache: I would say well done for accepting medication which will address the balance of Serotonon in your brain. That aspect of depression is a physical illness and the change in hormanoes of pregnancy trigger it - the AD's will enable your brain to build up your own supplies again in due course. It's no more a defeat than taking Iron supplements to enable your body to build up it's own iron reserves again.
You have done the right thing for yourself and your DS, and DH. Don't look back!

Hi toothache - how are u this morning?

Mummytosteven - thanks for note re. SJW - did the side effects wear off when you stopped it?

Thanks
Kizziex

Kizzie - I feel great this morning! That's just it, I'm not feeling down all that much just now.... just perhaps 1 or 2 days out of the week. I feel perfectly 'normal' and optimistic at the moment. Doesn't mean I won't be hysterical all weekend though.

Definitely going to try to half those tablets or ask the GP to prescribe them in a smaller dose it there is one! That was just too much yesterday.

kizzie - yes, side effects wore off as soon as I stopped it. Also watch out if you are on any other medication - SJW can make the Pill less effective!

TA - glad you're a bit better today speak to the doc as any of the ADs I've had have never made me feel like this but TBH I get very sleepy and drowsy just form being depressed.

Hope you manage to have a good weekend will be thinking of you, at least we've knocked another week off working this week .

Toothy, really sorry to read how crap you feel right now. I have had prozac in the past, it sorted me out and life is great now. Like you I was depressed and having panic attacks, the prozac was fine and didnt cause any unpleasant side-effects except for a racing heart the first 2 days. Seeking help is brave and accepting it is so responsible, you are taking steps to ensure you are the best possible mum to your children. I know things are going to work out brilliantly for you, pls have faith in yourself and you will get there. BXX

Toothache, im on my 3rd prescription of prozac and it took me 3 weeks exactly for the side effects to wear off. I had one day when i couldnt get out of bed and was crawling on the floor to get to the loo, if i stood up i would have fainted. I couldnt even see to the children and it really did scare me. But it all went as quick as it came and touch wood hasnt happened again and i dont really have any side effects now as long as i eat as i get quite dizzy if i skip a meal which i didnt before. iyswim.

Hope you have a good weekend. Take Care

Toothache - just been looking up amitriptyline in book called "When Words Are Not Enough".

There is a section headed:-

Side Effects for New Mothers - Don't Make Me a Zombie - (p234/5)

"initially selective seretonin re-uptake inhibitors may aggravate insomnia (but ultimately may corret sleep problems), but some tricyclic antidepressants can be so sedating that women find it impossible to drag themselves out of bed. All benzodiazepines are sedating, and even normal doses may be too sedating for new mothers. Postpartum women also often do not tolerate full doses of the older, more sedating tricyclics,such as Sinequon (doxepin) and Elavil (amitriptyline)(although low doses of these medications are usually fine for panic disorder). However, usually they can tolerate less sedating tricyclics, such as Pamelor (nortriptyline) and Norpramin (desipramine). SSRIs are usually well tolerated, but a small dose of a mild sleeping pill may be needed if insomnia develops. ..... Lower doses, milder sleep medications, or gradual dose adjustment may be necessary to strike the right balance between insomnia and oversedation.

Don't know what sort of dose has been prescribed, but certainly seems as if Elavil is not the best of drugs to be taking for a new mother! Have you managed to speak to your doctor yet???

Bump

Thanks everyone. I've been fine all weekend, but then I haven't seen much of DH!

MummytoSteven - That's really interesting and good to know. It gives me a good start when I talk to the GP. I can't phone them until 8.30am this morning. I might not even get an appointment this week!

CP3 - Unfortunately I'm still working fulltime so can't really afford 3 wks of feeling like that. How scary for you to go through this for that long.

Against GP's advice I've started taking my Sepia again. I cam to conclusion that noone really knows if it's safe or not, and it is such a minute quantity. I thought is was better than nothing in the meantime.

I also read up a bit about the AD's I was prescribed. I've been given a starting dose of 50mg, but the come in 25mg and 10mg tablets too. I was wondering if my GP could perhaps prescribe in 10mg and I can build up over the next few weeks?

Anyone got any experience specifically of Amitriptyline and what dose did you start on??

TIA...

Hi Toothache - sorry to hear about all of this. As Janh has said, I went through exactly the same with both my daughter and my son. I managed to stay off ADs but it was far from easy. There were times when I didn't know reality from fantasy, time became blurred and I simply couldn't look after myself, let alone dd. At one point I was very close to being referred into the psychiatric unit at the hospital.

The website is here and I kept a diary of how I felt during my last pregnancy. There are notes in there of what I did to cope and where I went for help, it might just help you. You can email me via the site too. One thing is that you have been down this road before, so you know that there is light at then end of the tunnel, and you also know from having your son just how worth it they are in the end .

If you are anything like me, you will get some good days mixed in with the bad. On those good days I would write down how I felt, what made it a good day, etc. Because when you do have bad days it's hard to remember anything but the grimness of how you are feeling. It helps to read about your good days just to remind yourself that the bad patch will not last forever. I also had a couple of 'feel-good' triggers that I would use too. So for instance, first thing in the morning (not everyone can face doing this though!) I would put on a couple of my favourite tracks which would set me in a good mood. Or I would plan a treat for myself that evening, some expensive bubble bath and a nice glass of wine. It helps if you plan things in advance for you to look forward to, like seeing an old friend, or going to the cinema. It gives you something to focus on, and it does make the days pass by quicker.

I hope some of this has helped. My ds is only 6 months old but already the depression I suffered with him is fading away, and so will yours. Keep going and email me any time. Chin up!

Thanks Rhubarb - I had a good look at your site. I remember having a look last time I felt bad too. You went through such a terrible time. Sometimes I feel like a real fraud as I don't think I feel half as bad as you did.

The fact that I'm viewing it this time as an illness rather than a weakness has really helped me. I am FAR more educated about depression, anxiety and panic attacks since finding Mumsnet and I am determined to face this head on and not let it ruin the delight of having a new baby.

You're so right that at least I can now see that it does pass and I will recover.

Toothache - the same book I quoted from before suggests 25 mg at bedtime as the usual starting dose, bulding up to 100 mg to 250 mg as the therapeutic dose. Hope you have managed to get hold of your GP. Are you managing to wind down at work/prepare for handover to other people yet - don't let them pile work on you till the last moment!

Thanks MummytoSteven - It does seem I've been started on too high a dose!

It's the opposite at work at the moment.... I'm BORED!!!!!! I have emailed my boss twice regarding a handover and have heard NOTHING. Hopeless, the lot of them!