Schizophrenic Brother...long rambling rant. Feel free to ignore.

[charliecat]

My brother is schizophrenic, has been for many years.
When he first got ill, he was aware of the fact and it was heartbreaking.....fast forward nearly 20 years and what was my brother is now just a mentally ill mess
Its completely eroded his personality.
He doesnt know where I live, because i dont want my kids seeing the shite that goes with schizophrenia, and the last time we told him where we were he packed his bags and moved into my front room, uninvited with no intention of moving on. A week or so later he was sectioned because he stole a taxi(he thought he was working for the FBI or some such nonsence)
Anyway. My mum doesnt get it at all.
Not in the slightest. I have printed very simple matter of fact guides about it, the illness and the effect on the personaltity and why he does this and says that but she wont have it.
Hes just an attention seeking pain in the arse and thats all there is too it.
Something happened lastnight, he knocked on her door at 1am saying he had tried tyo cut his throat with a blunt knife. So she took him to A and E and he has left with a follow up appointement, bla bla bla.
Which is great, but he wont open the door to the mental health workers, he doesnt take his medicine and nothings going to change, really, unlesss they start injecting him by force. In which case he would a normal human being and it would be dandy.
I worry though, that my mums dealing with a mental nutcase, and shes rude and mouthy and blatantly fucking horrible to him, becaus eshe thinks hes just being a pian.
She wouldnt speak to anyone else like it...its worrying.
I know more sane people murder people than schizophrenics do, but still.
Its just shit.
And I cant get her to understand that she needs to shut her moutn, let him rant about whatever shit is is and be thankful that hes not at her door everyday pissing her off.
Oh god its awful

dont know what to say but wanted to reply. its so sad knowing if he took his medication he would have a better standard of life.

my brother had a bad fall 16ft into the river last year (low tide) got brain injury in coma for ages. hes got better now and gone back to drinking and lieing as much as ever. all those long nights i spent praying by his bed just feel thrown back in my face. brothers ay ...

Thanks mysonsmummy Im worried her lack of understanding is going get her into trouble. Noone in thier rightmind would be anything other than nice and polite and submissive to a delusional schizophrenic, but shes confrontational and pulling him up on his lies(delusions) etc.
It wont be till its too late that she realises shes overstepped the mark.

Have you approached his GP? I know they wouldn't normally talk about a patient to anyone else, but my DH's mum is schizophrenic, and sometimes he gets calls from, eg, her neighbours (we're 400 miles away) to say she's showing signs of flipping out and he calls the GP who calls the psych. who sorts her out (sorry, bit vague on the details, my dh doesn't like talking about it).

Is there any way your mum would be prepared to talk to his psychiatrist by herself? Sometimes people will take in info. given by a professional but will ignore the same info from family members.

Has your brother ever been violent to anyone (other than himself?)

Hi Charliecat,
My brother was diagonoised schizophrenic following a breakdown at university about 15 years ago, I can relate to your description of erosion of personality, I feel like the brother that I grew up with and looked up to doesn't exist anymore. I don't blame you for not letting him know where you live, hope you don't feel guilty for that.
Mental health issues are harder for the older generation to understand, such issues just weren't talked about then, it was just a case of pulling yourself together (which of course didn't work).
Try not to worry about your Mum, I really don't think there is much you can do, has your brother shown any violent tendencies? Most scizophrenics are not violent.
Good luck with everything, sounds like you are doing to best for your family in very difficult circumstances. Wishing you happier easier times really soon
XXX

No real experience in this area either but I just wanted to offer my sympathies for the difficult situation you are in. If your brother had a serious physical illness I'm sure your mother's attitude would be different but some people just find such difficulty in recognising mental illness is just that...an ILLNESS. Maybe if she talks to a professional it could help. I hope so. Hope things get better soon.

charliecat, hi, we have spoken about this before. My brother is very much the same as yours but my Mum does know not to speak to him at all as it triggers off his problems shall we call them. Screaming, ranting, rages. When he visits she is mostly silent or talks light heartedly about nothing.

My Mum doesn't want to believe there is anything wrong with my brother either, think maybe it is in built denial that maybe we all have. In fact she still won't admit what is wrong with him to anyone. But she does know he screams less if she doesn't give anything to trigger off.

Could you ask your Mum just to experiment with the silent behaviour to see if he is calmer?

Thanks for your messages.
Ive just been to her house and shes still insisting its because hes a male chavanist (sp)pig.
I said, maybe he is, but hes a schizophrenic male chavanist(sp) pig.
I said that if a stranger mental patient was in front of her she wouldnt talk to him the way she does my brother...noone would.
I said shes making herself sound loopy by insisting hes not schizophrenic.
She refers to back at the beggining when he was first ill as "when he was ill as if hes not now
I keep insisting that he is.
He tends to scream, sounding like a injured walrus when hes really tormented by whatevers going on in his head. And smashed his stuff up in his flat and kicks busstops etc to get rid of rage.
Often he rants about old people or peadophiles(or however you spell it) but as far as I know he has never dont anyone other than himself any harm.
His fists are knackered from punching things.
She says she knows when to stop.
In my mind, last night was cry for help, and she has helped distract him from whatever was going on in his head, whether it really was suicide or thats the excuse he used to get some company in his time of need.
In her mind hes taking the piss and he was bored.
(given that he has NOTHING else in his life if this were true he would be doing it everynight of the week)
I dont feel guilty that he doesnt know where I live, there would be no benefit to him if he did, I would just be another person making excuses why he couldnt come in, or saying that I was just going out...another person not pleased to see him. As it is, because hes not invading my space being a pain the arse(becasue he is, rambling on about the foriegn legion over and over again) I listen and chirp in little comments and because I can walk away from it and hes NOT going to knock on my door and stay for 7 hours getting in the ay of me it doesnt bother me.
Ramble ramble ramble.
I have saw the assement sheet and someones going to see him on Wednesday I think, he never answers the door though.
Im sort of hoping someone might stick on the case, and MAKE him attend appointments etc.
But even so unless he takes his pills its fruitless.
Thanks for reading.
Dp cant get past the metal illness thing either so I havent really anyone to sound off too.

SHR, Hello Again She does ignore a lot of what he says, but when he contradicts himself or says something thats not true she pounces on it and rips it apart...why did you just say that bla bla...and ive said take what he says with a pinch of salt, hes mentally ill, hes talking crap because hes not thinking straight, so hes not going to talk sense, and even so, having a go at him for talking crap is NOT going to stop him, or help AT ALL...so just let him get on with it...but does she???Nooo.
He lives 3 mins round the road from her. They have fell into an arrangement, she takes him to lunch on Sunday, and occasionally he pops in for tea...and rants about whatevers annoying him that day.
There 0 normal conversation at all.

charliecat, this is a difficult one. Presumably your brother has out patient appointments to see his psychiatrist? If so, he'll have what's called a CPA document, which outlines his care plan. This document is normally reviewed periodically in a CPA meeting by the psychiatrist, the client, their Care Coordinator and members of the care team, and any family members. It might be a useful starting point if you could find out who your brother's Care Coordinator is and then when his next CPA meeting is scheduled for. If you could attend, you could learn more about his care package and express some of your concerns. This may/ may not be an appropriate meeting for your mum to attend but it does sound like she is denying his illness and needs to speak to a member of his care team or an organisation like SANE/MIND.

Depending on where your brother lives, some Mental Health Trusts have whats called an Assertive Outreach Team, which works specifically with clients who may not actively engage with services. If your brother's mental health trust operate such a service, this may be appropriate to meet his needs.

Best of luck.

Hi CC, my brother does not know where I live either but has never asked my Mum but she has told him I am scared of him but obviously that didn't phase him as he is not interested in other people's feelings with his illness.

I know for a fact my brother is calmer if you don't rile and confuse him with conversation. He still accuses my Mum of a load of old nonsense though whatever the situation.

I just worry about when my Mum is too old to look after herself and my brother thinking he can move in her house. She is 76 now and very fit and healthy but who knows what the future holds.

He has gone to Thailand for 6 months now. He has sex with prostitutes and talks nonsense with people that don't understand him so I think the life suits him quite well. In fact my Mum was trying to talk to him about moving out there as there is nothing to keep him here. He has upset all the job agencies where he has been living and so needs to move towns again if he does come back.

My mum trys to persuade my brother to move abroad as well, thinking that a vagrant sort in the sun is better than over here in the freezing cold weather. Although hes still in the flat that he was given after the temporary accomadation mum sorted for him via SS.
My mum tells him a different area of town everytime he asks about me.
He found out where she was as she walked out to put her recycling bin out...walked right into him. Before that they just arranged to meet in advance, and if he didnt turn up we didnt see him till we bumped into him again.
I cant imagine this with one of my dds. Its too hard to. Although mind says 1 in 100 has schizophrenia