I'm addicted.

[themediocrefishewoman]

Hi mumsnet, I'm new here so don't expect good formatting or anythig.

Ever since the birth of my second child, i've suffered from extreme anxiety.
Rather than going to a doctor like a sensible person, a friend at the time told me about an anti anxiety drug called 'Xanax'.

I did my research on Xanax and thought, 'right, I'm going to try some of this'.
In the States (where I live) its quite easy to obtain xanax illegally so I foolishly went and bought some.

My life has now been changed. It started slowly, me just taking a 'bar' (pill) of xanax a day, but quickly increased to two, three, even up to four on some days.
I stopped interacting with my children, being a single parent, this was even worse. These past few months my addiction has stopped me seeing my kids, I've had to leave them at their fathers.

Some evenings, I take three pills just to forget the day I just lived before, and to put me to sleep. I can't find help anywhere

I need it

You really should see a doctor.

I don't know much about the American healthcare system, but I think the first step would be seeing your general practitioner - they might be able to refer you to counselling and put something in place to help you get clean.

I'm too scared to undergo the detox stuff though

I'm scared I'll miss the pills

Contact your local narcotics anonymous meeting. Someone there should be able to be honest with you about coping without pills and should have info on local programmes available.
Things will only get worse and harder to get out. Today is better than tomorrow .

Xanax is Prozac I think. You do need to face up to the idea of getting help to come off them, or you won't get your children back.

Xanax is a benzo, similar to Valium, not Prozac which is an SSRI. You need advice on alternative strategies to manage your anxiety, OP, alongside a managed withdrawal.

Hello op.

You are already experiencing how this addiction will take everything from you.

You need to get clean.

No, it won't be easy, but if managed properly, it won't be that bad.

This will be the rest of your life if you don't, and will only get harder.

Best of luck

Cutting back really slowly and finding another way to treat your anxiety is probably the best thing. Your doctor should help. Don't try to stop them cold turkey, it can be dangerous. Look up 'Xanax taper' on Google. I think the recommendation is to cut the dose by 10% per day, then stay on the new dose for several weeks. You have recognised that you have a problem, which is the first step.