How Can You tel the dfference bettween depression and tiredness

[colette]

I am having real trouble sleeping, I fall asleep but it is such a light sleep that I wake up many times in the night and early morning. It is infuriating as dd and ds are generally sleeping well . I also feel quite anxious generally. I have done the usual "sleep hygiene" recommendations, cut down on caffiene , try and unwind etc.. tied aromatherapy oils and coffea(sp) homeopathy but not really any improvement.
I find myself being on a much shorter fuse with dd and I feel guilt about this. Also things seem to really get on top of me easily- for instance this morning at a play group a 2 or 3 year old kicked my ds(11 mnths) not hard , I told him he shouldn't do that and to go away. He then threw himself on the floor in a strop and his granny comes over and asks me what happened because he said I shouted at him! I think I did use a pretty harsh tone . Anyway I find myself dwelling on things that I know I shouldn't iykwim.
I don't feel really down but feel I am getting more and more uptight and negative than I was. Do you think this is just sleep deprivation or am I not sleeping because I am a bit depressed? I had mild depression when dd was 1and just before my dad died and I am starting to feel the same . How do I tell which is the main problem ?. Sorry about the ramble , any similar experiences /advice really welcome. Thanks for listening

??? !!!

I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question, but I knew I was depressed when all my thoughts and reactions were negative or gloomy or worse, agressive, which was different from simply being tired or a bit down.
I'm not sure what a definition of stress is, either, but perhaps you are generally a bit stressed - not getting enough you-time or excercise or adult stimulation and discussion? Excercise really sorts me out: makes me physically tired, with a sense of achievement, and the endorphins give you a lift, too.
But I'd probably dwell on an incident like the nursery one too, if it wasn't really resolved with the granny!

colette, I would say the sleeping is affecting your mood. You may have more anxieties and worries at the moment which will make you 'uptight and negative' and that combined with the lack of sleep will affect your mood. You don't sound classically depressed, just stressed. Do you have any major stressors in your life atm?

Usuall depression you wake up in early hours - if you have had depression before and recognise the signs then try to get more sleep and if you still feel the same then I would treat it as depression to be honest only you can probably answer the question

Agree with Blu, exercise really really helps. Also completely cut out caffeine - even one cup of coffee a day can stop me sleeping properly. And realising that we all go through phases of stress and anxiety in our lives and you WILL get through it! Be kind to yourself!

Colette - re. the sleep. I have found the aromatherapy sleep range absolutely fantastic.
Its the one in a red bottle.

I really wasnt expecting it to work but it definately helps.

You can get the bath oil plus massage oil and pillow spray.

So the idea is basically to have an early bath with the oil / use the massage oil on your pulse points then use the spray on your pillow.

I found it much better than lavender for me.

Might be worth a try??
Each thing is about a fiver but they last ages.
Kizziex

Sorry - that should have said from 'Boots'

hi colette - tiredness is such a killer. i have had days where i feel as if i am 'swimming through treacle' if that makes any sense? i find 2 things really help:

1. go to sleep when they do - i know this might feel initally as if you have no life apart from the children but it could help until you feel your batteries recharging 2.there is a recent thread where i have given details on transcendental meditation (so bad at writing links sorry u feel like you would like to try it - it could help distance you from your feelings/emotions/events of the day. it has helped me with more energy and i also use it to help me go to sleep. i know lots of other mn also swear by it. if someone kicked my ds i too would feel very angry and dwell on it. very strange that it is acceptable for children but if this happened to an adult the police would potentially be involved and the adult would be entitled to counselling and compensation. so i feel your reaction is justified - granny should be supervising!! i shall try and find the thread and attempt to link it

here goes: meditation

Thank you for your replies- it helps. NancyK I don't have major streesors but I am worried about my mum who is ill and my brother who is struggling with alcoholism and is expecting his 1st baby in a few weeks. Also dh's business is nosediving- however we do not have a very big financial commitments and are still ok at present.
I feel so tired and get cannot get into a heavy sleep. I feel a bit of a fraud as I think if I was really depressed I would not have to ask. I do wake up about 6am every morning(regardless of what time I go to bed at). Kizzie I will look at the Boots oil.I have quite a few oils, but it is worth a try.
The tiredness is overwelming (sp)
Thanks for your support on the granny incident- shrub you hit the nail on the head. A lot of the grannies and the mums sit obliviously drinking tea- I have seen the same child kick other children before. I feel like not going again but I don't want her to think that I felt bad about telling him off.

Shrub - I agree about meditation , I used to meditate and do yoga but I can't seem to switch off now when I need to more than ever.

Collette, it sounds as if you have lots to be quite anxious about, so no wonder you're not sleeping that well. But i think you're right - if it was depression, you'd know! Sorry you're having a rough patch - and hope that meditation helps. XXXXX

sorry colette - didn't realise full situation. you must feel like you are trying to carry a lot of people at the moment. all i can say it sounds like you really need to be able to walk away sometimes from these things - and nurture yourself. its maybe about taking back some control over your own life. re: playgroup - your reaction is so 'british'- please don't worry about the silly granny, she doesn't deserve that power over you! i had a similar thing happen to my ds1 was pushed backwards off a climbing frame and the mother didn't even react(i cried and cried when i got home). i stopped going there, it wasn't right for my ds1 or me.after a long search found somewhere very caring and supportive that we both look forward to going. i really hope you get the sleep you deserve tonight

Thanks shrub and blu- dh is reading dd her bedtime story and has been home this evening so that has helped a lot. Thanks for your replies it has lifted me . cheersxxx

colette - have you tried hypnotherapy tapes/CDs? There's one on Positive Thinking that I've been using on and off most nights and it really helps me get relaxed/send me off to sleep (in fact, I often fall asleep during them!!) and hopefully is reprogramming my mind to think positively. There's a sleep one in the same series too... hang on I'll dig out some links.

Deep Sleep Every Night

Learn How To Think Positively

The narrator does have a bit of a Marvin the Paranoid Android voice, which is a bit bizarre on a CD to avoid negativity, but once I'd listened a couple of times I stopped sniggering and found it very helpful.

Hi colette, there was a good thread on the difference between depression and feeling down a while back, I'll see if I can find it for you. Sorry you're feeling so crap.

Thanks for the recommendation georgina I will look for it tomorrow when I go into town. WW that thread sounds good . I am going to bed soon = manic grin

Colette, this thread isn't the one I was thinking of but still might be useful, strategies for avoiding depression I can't find the other one, despite searching, can anyone else? It was called something like 'what's the difference between being down and depression?' and I just can't find it but I found it very useful at the time. Hope you manage to sleep tonight colette.

Thanks www - I read your thread and sympathise. That is why you could understand my situation . I slept slightly better , still knackered but not as down. Your dh saounds lovely!

How's it going, colette? Managing to get any sleep now?

hi colette,

what a rotten time and dont feel bad about the playgroup incident. i never liked kids that kicked mine .

i wouldnt bother trying pre blended oils, they are very diluted. you would benefit more from using the pure essential ones. if nothing else, everyone should have lavender (unless you completely hate the smell). put a drop on either side of your pillow... just one drop as its quite strong. it wont stain. or put 2 drops on a tissue and have that tucked under the pillow. of course, a lavender bath in the evening can help too.

have you considered a complementary therapy? i know you are busy... and all the more reason for taking an hour or so to yourself once a week... some quality me time. maybe your hormones need a kick up the backside, not settled yet after your last birth.

as a multi therapist, i reckon you cant beat reflexology for a good overall treatment. see the session as a time to relax or even get things off your chest with an impartial listener. a good therapist will recommend a therapy they think may suit you better, btw.

i wish you well.

I saw my doc about feeling like this and he said that I was mildly depressed and suggested seeing a counciller for a good chat. You need to pay preivately but I guess its only £20/25. He also said 'do the things that make you happy' which sounds simplIstic but actually is easier to say than do! So I have made an effort to be more selfish! Read mags, book nights out with friends more regularly - that is the main one to be honest - go out more. Not sure its the answer to all lifes worries but it will certainly take youR mind off things for a while!! bit of dancing and a glass of wine or three will help with the sleep for one night!!

Georgina A - I am sleeping slightly better, but it did get worse , I ended up going to the Do tors who gave me 2mg of valium to help with anxiety!. Only 1 weeks worth, I was not very impressed but really fed up with it and wanting to get out of the cycle of being too tired to get anything done and then getting stressed about not doing much.I have tried them a few nights but not in the day . The first night it worked really well but now it does not have any effect and I am back to waking up really early again.
Rosies I actually went and had relexology today - had booked it weeks ago with vouchers I got for my birthday I must admit I am quite sceptical about it but really enjoyed it.It is really interesting
Newgirl - I know what you mean about councelling(sp) - I will think about it - funds are tight atm. Thanks for all your replies .BTW I have been doing a salsa dvd most days which makes me feel better, just difficult to fit it in.