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Original poster

My mums got breast cancer

31 replies

Joshjunior · 01/06/2004 11:12

My mum has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm going to see the breast nurse with her prior to surgery next week. I'm sure there are lots of things I should be asking. Has anyone been in this situation. What should I be asking? As far as I am aware, they are due to be planning a lumpectomy at this stage. Can she ask for a mastectomy - I think she would rather have this to be sure it's all gone. Any advice would be most welcomed. TIA.

OP posts:

gothicmama · 01/06/2004 11:17

Primarily what i the best course of treatment is there any dietary / lifestyle changes - take a pen and paper to write it all down - really easy to forget things (My gran had BC last year and had a mastectomy) also ask about her throat it can be quite common( my gran + friend of mum's had problems after BC) for this to be a problem afterwardsI hope all goes well - my gran is fine but has regular checkups now

NomDePlume · 01/06/2004 11:17

I'm so very sorry to hear this joshjunior, it must be a very confusing time for you. I have no experience of this but just wanted to send you a supportive hug or 2...

Very best wishes and I'm certain that there are plenty of mn'ers with the experience/advice you are seeking.

xxx

NomDePlume · 01/06/2004 11:21

Could this site be of help to you ?

katzguk · 01/06/2004 11:24

hi just going through similar with mil,
re lump vs mastectomy is dependent on the cancer type, sometime just removing the lump and having radiotherapy is more than enough to get rid of the cancer, but would be a good question to ask, i know it difficult but ask for prognosis, quite often its high, i would ask about th treatment plan, are there any trials she's elligible for, quite often on these you get a higher standard of care. are you at a major specialist hospital because if not i would be tempted to ask to be moved, again local small hospitals might be handy but they areb't experts.

hope this helps and thinking of you

aloha · 01/06/2004 11:26

A mastectomy may well not provide any extra protection and it is major surgery. Talk to the consultant about it and they may be able to reassure you. The fact that they are only talking about lumpectomy is a very good sign. Breast cancer is an extremely cureable illness these day. Good luck to you all.

CountessDracula · 01/06/2004 11:27

Oh you poor things. My aunt had breast cancer, did not need a mastectomy and is fine now if that's any help. Thinking of you xx

dinosaur · 01/06/2004 11:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Gingerbear · 01/06/2004 11:36

You must both be devastated and shell shocked by this news.

Very best wishes to you and your mum xxxx

My friend was diagnosed 6 years ago, but after a partial mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy and Tamoxifen she is clear now.

She will have regular check-ups for the rest of her life. Her mum and sister also had breast cancer, and they are now OK too. My friend's DD is to have screening (poor lamb is only 11) as it seems to be genetic.

Lets hope your mum's has been caught early.

coppertop · 01/06/2004 11:38

I don't have any advice but best wishes to you and your mum. xxxx

nikcola · 01/06/2004 11:46

i dont have any advice either, but im thinking of u and your mum xxxxxx

Mermaid2 · 01/06/2004 11:55

Joshjunior, thinking of you and your Mum.

jimmychoos · 01/06/2004 11:55

joshjunior - it's horrid news but breast cancer is curable. My Mum had breast cancer about 7 years ago, when she was about 63. She had a lumpectomy and a course of radiotherapy and then took tamoxifen (has only just stopped)and is currently clear - obv she has regular check ups. I bought her a very good book at the time - will try and find out the title. She found it really helpful. Try the breast cancer charities too for info. Agree the specialists will advise on the best course of treatment - from my memory it will depend on where the cancer is and how old your Mum is - the older the patient the easier it is to treat as the cancer doesn't spread so quickly. Agree it's a good sign they are talking lumpectomy. It is great your mum has your support to help her through this - my Mum was very very distressed (her own mother had died of breast cancer at a similar age)and couldn't take in a lot of the information as she was told it so my sister used to get all the details and go through with her.

Hope you have someone supporting you too - it's going to be hard but you will get through it. HTH.

Slinky · 01/06/2004 11:56

{{{Hugs{}}}} to you both.

My mum was diagnosed with BC in 1997 - she was treated with a lumpectomy, 6 months of chemotherapy followed by several months of radiotherapy.

My mum's aunt was diagnosed previous to that - she had a mastectomy and no chemo. Then in 2000, my mum's sister was diagnosed - she has had a mastectomy but no chemo, although did have radiotherapy.

Pleased to say mum and her aunt are now "all-clear", mum's sister is now in Remission and things going well will be "all-clear" next summer.

(Gingerbear)

How did your friend go about getting her DD screened? I'm 33, and I cannot find anyone who will agree to screen me. I have contacted BUPA, my GP, mum's Consultant - all say I'm too young to be screened - mammograms are inconclusive at my age etc etc.

Also, my friend is 38 and currently in remission with BC - she was detected by mammogram (due to her sister having had BC) - the lump could not be felt in her breast and therefore was unaware that she had a lump.

Going back to your OP, a very good idea that you are going with your mum. I went with mine to take notes/ask questions as my mum was still in shock and couldn't take everything in.

Good luck to you both

jimmychoos · 01/06/2004 12:02

Me too slinky e; screening - would welcome advice on this. I am scared I have the gene (mum and grandma have both had bc).

spacemonkey · 01/06/2004 12:07

no advice, just wanted to say sorry to hear your news and send good wishes for her recovery X

Gingerbear · 01/06/2004 12:09

joshjunior, sorry for hijacking your thread

Slinky and jimmychoos, I will ask my friend about this - I wondered about her DD having screening at such a young age too.

tamum · 01/06/2004 19:18

Joshjunior, my sympathies. I agree with aloha, there may well be no extra benefit in doing a mastectomy. We'll be thinking of you. xx

Slinky and jimmychoos, if you have close relatives who have had breast cancer pre-menopausally, then you should be entitled to be screened. jimmychoos, nothing you have said rings any alarm bells with me about your genetic risk. Slinky, your family history suggests strongly that you should be entitled to screening, although if your mum and aunt were both post-menopausal then it is probably a coincidence (there's very little genetic component to post-menopausal breast cancer). In terms of actual screening, it wouldn't be done by mammograms, they would be doing mutation analysis of the BRCA1 or BRCA2 genes, at least for the 11 year old. If your relatives were pre-menopausal then I would ask your GP to refer you to a consultant geneticist and take it from there. Feel free to ask any more questions.

Cavy · 01/06/2004 19:24

My friend's mum was treated with just lumpectomy for breast cancer about 2 years ago. She's still cancer-free, so it can be good enough. Thing is that friend's mum was diagnosed in something like October, but refused any treatment at all until she told her family in December and then they made her go get it treated. And she still didn't have to have masectomy. Just to prove that BC isn't always aggressive.

Janh · 01/06/2004 19:42

joshjunior, I've had breast cancer quite recently - diagnosed Oct 00, lumpectomy (2 lumps) Nov 00, chemotherapy Jan-Jun 01 and then radiotherapy most of August 01. (No tamoxifen because it wasn't the hormonal kind.)

Since then have had 3-monthly checkups (oncologist and breast surgeon alternately), this went to 6-monthly last year, and now after the next appt in October I'm considered at the same risk as anybody else (I think!) and will just have 3-yearly mammograms because I'm over 50.

If you or your mum want to ask me anything specific please email me via contact another talker. It is a scary idea; the surgery/recovery is uncomfortable, you can end up with a fat arm from lymphoedema because they remove the lymph glands from your armpit to check for cancer cells there, and under your arm is permanently numb because they have cut the nerves, but apart from that I feel pretty much the same again now! Hope your mum turns out the same. (More people do than don't. Honest!)

Slinky · 01/06/2004 20:48

Tamum

Both my mum and aunt were under 50 and therefore not being called for mammograms when they developed BC.

I have asked and asked till I'm blue in the face, offered to pay myself but doesn't make a jot of difference.

My GP did offer to refer me when I reached the age of my mum's diagnosis minus 10 years, ie my mum was 47, therefore I would be seen at 37.

However, he has since retired.

(Apologies to Joshjunior for hi-jacking her thread).

Slinky · 01/06/2004 20:52

Sod it - I'm damned angry now.

Gonna make an appointment for GPs next week - wait until kids back at school - then I'm going to refuse to move until they refer me!

Original poster

Joshjunior · 02/06/2004 09:19

Thanks everyone for your messages. I'm seeing the breast nurse with mum tomorrow. Will keep you posted with any update. Thanks again.

OP posts:

magnum · 02/06/2004 09:26

Lots of support for you and your mum Joshjuniorxxxxxxx

jimmychoos · 02/06/2004 14:02

Good luck to you and your mum will be thinking of you both

tamum · 02/06/2004 15:18

Sorry Slinky, only just got back to this, but that's the spirit girl! In prinicple you could have the genetic screen and it will tell you whether you are at increased risk or not. If you are then they just have to do regular mammograms. As for "we'll start screening when you're 10 years younger than your mother was", I've never heard of such nonsense. I would be very specific about getting a referral to a genetic counsellor. They'll understand much better and can get you the appropriate screening. Good luck!

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