Mum's Doctors appointment, opinions please.

[Boodles84]

Hello All
My mum is 66, and a heavy smoker (refuses to stop)! She has arthritis which she has been on medication for, for a long time she also takes a low dose of antidepressant again she has been taking this for a long time. I'm pointing these out as she has not started taking any new medication or altered any of the dosages.
She is severely underweight, she's approx 5ft 6 and must only weigh about 6.5stone.
She says she has "IBS" but she literally is on the toilet 5 minutes after food hits her stomach.
She did a stool sample at 60 but none since.
I noticed a few weeks back that her hands were shaking (tremor) and when I asked her about it, she made a joke of it and I didn't push any further.
I noticed it again the other day and at first she tried to hide it and brush it off and then when I pushed further she admitted that it had been going on for approx 3 weeks. Both times I have noticed the tremor she has been resting. I told her she had to go to the doctors and today she says she has been. When I Called her and asked her what the doctor said this is what she told me..
The tremor is due to the arthritis in her hands and after physical activity when the muscle is relaxing it is causing these shakes, her weight is concerning but didn't mention any tests or her stomach troubles but is referring her to a dietician??????
My question is, if a severely underweight 66yr old with severe stomach issues comes into your surgery with a tremor in their hands the first logical person you would refer them to would be a dietician? And dismiss the tremor without testing?
Either the doctor hasn't done as they possibly should or my mum is lying?
What are your thoughts? Is there anything I can do if she is so reluctant to see doctors? Do you think what the doctor has done is the correct route to take?
Please be gentle, I'm very scared for my Mums health.

Just bumping for the night shift

Gah, my mum is useless with doctors too. We now have a tacit agreement that I take her to appointments and do most of the talking. Can you go with her to the dietician? Ask her for permission to talk to the doctor?

Is there a possibility she hasn't actually been to the Doctors?

Could you ask your mum if she'd mind if you spoke to the GP to relieve your mind ?
She might have to write a note giving permission .

Could she be worried and putting her head in the sand ?

Thanks for your replies.
I think there is a massive possibility she hasn't been to the doctors. When I asked her face to face about when she Was going to the dietician she sais" oh I don't know, I've got to make an appointment" I think she's probably scared and doesn't want to know.
There is no way she would let me speak to the doctor I've tried and tried in the past without any use.
I just don't know what to do! She doesn't live close and lives on her own. If she doesn't answer her phone I'm a nervous wreck.
She is so very very thin 😓 if she gets a cold I'm a nervous wreck.
I think I might phone her doctors and express my concerns so if she isn't being completely honest with them, then maybe they can ask the right questions when she is there for a tablets review or something.

Boodles that's an excellent idea about giving info to the GP .I think I would phone and then send a letter confirming what you've said . And add that your mum tells you that she's recently visited the GP .

I would keep tryin g to get her to agree to you talking to GP /coming with her . I found ,much to my surprise ,that my mum would suddenly change her mind about stuff that she'd always adamantly rejected in the past .

Good luck and strength ,this stuff is so distressing .

The rule with IBS which most GPs will follow, is it's diagnosed when all other possible causes are excluded. This usually means an endoscopy or at least an appt with a gastro specialist.

You don't want to be alarmed of course but your mum is severely underweight. poor diet along with smoking and low body weight mean she is at high risk for osteoporosis and she ought to have a bone density scan as well as other tests for her bowel habits.

She could worst case have bowel cancer- higher in smokers as are all cancers. She may be anorexic and need support for that.

Unless your GP is given consent by your mum to discuss her illnesses with them they won't have a conversation with you even by phone. I tried to have one recently about my parent who has something akin to dementia and could n't even get past the receptionist on the phone.

You might try writing to the GP but don't expect any reply.